Health Anxiety - Part 4

[polkadotpixie]

I hope no-one minds me starting a follow up thread. I know some people were waiting for me to update so I thought I would but happy to ask MNHQ to delete if one of the long term posters wanted to start it 😊

Feeling your pain! As you know I am a boob person to, I've been fighting the urge to check all week, but doing okay so far, but it's like a constant feeling in my stomach of slight red but I'm not checking. I do think we have to tell ourselves that we checked however many days ago, in my case a thorough check last week. And we are not doing us any favours by checking so regularly. Here with you anyway, emphasising, and experiencing the same thing!

Dread not red

For some reason my current obsession, other than my cervix, and spotting! Is that when I lie in bed, I feel more aware of my left breast, logically I know it's slightly bigger, and so when I lie down and gravity takes hold it probably pulled slightly more, but for some reason I'm really hyper aware of it! Does anybody else find that about any bit of their body, like they are hyper aware of any pulling sensations, or itches or aches or anything really.

Morning @Skyliner001, that’s exactly what happens to me and I think it adds to the morning anxiety. I feel like I always aware of the left breast, I know it’s because that one is the focus of my anxiety because it’s the more lumpy one but I’m convinced I can feel something happening in it that makes me just aware it’s there. I’m almost certain it’s in my head because it’s happened for a few months on and off but when I’m having a good week it doesn’t happen, it’s only when I’m having anxiety about boobs! It’s a bit like a pulling/tingling/sometimes itchy feeling. Happens a lot when I’m in bed so I try to get up and do something even at the weekend because if I lie in bed awake I know I’ll start checking it!

For a while it worked to tell myself you don’t need to check until the following month now so I’ve been on the school run repeating in my head ‘don’t need to check until April now’!

I'm awful at the moment worried even about reading thread in case I see something else to worry about.

Saw Consultant on tues and he said he didn't feel it was anything bad and suggested could do a CT scan. I originally asked if I could have this NHS but I called yesterday to ask if I can have it done privately which should be in days rather than weeks. I just can't go on with this worry and fear.

I keep having to remind myself that ultrasound didn't high light anything worrying and bloods marker was coming down.

Thinking of all fellow worriers.

@MrsWhites That's exactly what I am like, and my left boob as well! Thanks, that helps, it sounds like we experienced really similar things, so we just have to try and get through it and work our way towards monthly examinations. I'm sure we can get there!

@MarthasGinYard It sounds like the consultant isn't worried at all, so I'm not sure whether you should go for the private scan, or see how you feel in a weeks time? A private scan will be quite expensive, and you could maybe put the money towards something nice, I think from everything you've said there is nothing to worry about. But I don't underestimate the impact on your mental health of waiting.

I've done a wee NC since I share so much personal stuff and I'm paranoid!

@Skyliner001 I'm often aware of my problem boob, the other one I wouldn't know is there! I mentioned this in the appt on Monday along with the pain and Doc said it was normal and the other two nurses were nodding Aw aye

Oops, posted before I was finished and random words at the end but the gist is there!

@MarthasGinYard I'm not sure you need to go private for the CT but I do understand the fear. I thought ultrasound is more accurate than a CT, which is basically a fancy xray. Can you speak to the Dr again and ask what the CT could add to the info you already have? That might help put your mind at ease and with your decision. X

@polkadotpixie Sending all the good vibes for your gynae appt today. Please let us know how it goes cx

Can so relate @MrsWhites. I have terrible morning anxiety too (which carries on all day) and have had an obsession with bruises and blood cancer for months. I always have a few small bruises dotted around my arms and legs but doctor has done blood tests and not worried (says age-related and have very pale skin). Am I reassured? Am I heck. It’s got so bad I shower in the dark in case I notice anything on my body.

Like you, when I feel anxious about anything, I nearly always want to start checking my bruises. Anxiety fuels checking and checking fuels anxiety 🙁 We need to be strong and try and break the habit.

@HildegardeCrowe I also have small bruises on my legs and arms, and sort of small patches where the skin is slightly different colour, they don't normally worry me too much. But I am aware that they are there.

@Skyliner001 I'm like that with my tongue. I constantly feel like there's something at the back of it. Funnily enough when I'm distracted I don't feel anything or notice it. I think it's just the hyper awareness of anxiety!

If it helps anyone re breast issues, the consultant I saw yesterday said about the breast being filled with glandular tissue which can swell and go down with hormones and most lumps and bumps are just part of normal tissue. So if anything feels lumpy on one side check the other side, it doesn't have to be symmetrical but just similar feeling tissue on the other breast. He said not to feel specifically for lumps but to feel what is normal for you and be aware of any changes from your normal 🙂

@HildegardeCrowe you are absolutely right, it’s a horribly vicious circle. I also get worried about bruises. So much so that when I was doing DIY with my husband at the weekend I knocked my leg and he said ‘when you get a bruise there remember it was from this’. I also struggle with showers, I sometimes have to stand in the shower counting how long I’ve been in there...the counting distracts me and it helps to see how quickly I can get in and out!

@Skyliner001 it is strange but very reassuring that a lot of our minds seem to work in the same way!

Oh and if any of you are on Instagram or TikTok, search for Dr Kirren. She does loads of videos on health anxiety and they are really useful and explain a lot of symptoms and checking etc

Oh gosh so glad there’s so much understanding here! I worry about my mouth and tongue too @AJ297. I would so like to know what fuels my anxiety and the rest of you too.

Thank you for thinking of me @StooriMelon 😊 I had my appointment with the Gynae and she said it looks like Endometriosis. I'm going to be discussed at the MDT with the consultants and radiologists but she said it doesn't look like cancer and my CT scan of my kidneys was also clear (Kidney cancer is my other obsession du jour) so I have to wait for the outcome of that but she's pretty confident (she said 90%) that it's nothing to worry about

@AJ297 just had a look at Dr Kirren on Instagram, looks like she has some good advice. Especially about feeding anxiety with checks, which then create symptoms!

@polkadotpixie that sounds promising that you are finally getting to the bottom of what is causing your symptoms. Hopefully they will be able to get the endometriosis under control for you!

Amazing news @polkadotpixie 🌈

Hi all! I’ll catch up properly soon!

@polkadotpixie very happy for you!

@AJ297 I’ll have a look at her now!

Great news @polkadotpixie!

Hope everyone’s had a better day seen a lot of breast comments so just thought I would say that mine are lumpy/ridged/pea lumped/ one slightly larger/widespread pores/wonky nips! Just in case it helps anyone! They don’t look at bad as they sound 😂

@tmh88 that made me laugh, you don’t paint a pretty picture 😂

I’ve not checked again since this morning and managed a shower without poking so that’s big progress from this morning. Have still had the urges though and having to remind myself that tenderness and tingling i’m feeling is because i’ve made them sore with the checks!

Hope everyone else is having a good evening. Almost the weekend and I know a lot of us struggle at weekends....anyone want to join me in a no poke weekend?

Yet another headache here 😳

@tmh88 that made me giggle ☺️

I'm in @MrsWhites

@tmh88 you made me laugh!

Morning! Glad you all got a laugh at least 😂