Slipping.

[Needhelpasking4help]

I'm too tired to type my story but I don't want to feel alone but feel unable to bother and worry people in my life. Sorry.

I went to the park very early this morning thinking it would help me to feel better marching round for an hour but I spent the whole time fantasising about my suicide.

I came home and got very panicked and upset and I don't have any more diazepam but then calmed down a bit.

I was referred to crisis team the other week. Sorry

I got through the day but now I feel very bad and I can hardly move my body. I had a little drink which took the edge off

Getting through it. Family helping. Getting benefits sorted too. Never applied before , struggle with forms/ phone etc. Sister helped me.

That’s great to hear. I hope you continue to feel better.

I can't do anything anymore. I made my dad angry he's gone to get my prescription and he needs my tenancy agreement as I'm getting evicted but I couldn't find it. I drank some rum and in bed. I have dc. I can't have them anymore I can't even wash myself. I am in a pit.

My exh is working til Thursday I can't look after my children. They need so much more than me. I have nothing to give

Dc at nursery and school right now.

I'm a dreadful person

Don't know what to do

Sweetheart- you need to go back to your doctor or the Crisis te.

How did your appointment with your doctor go last week?

Are you able to give your children something to eat and drink? Are you getting them to nursery/ school?

Op is there someone to look after your children at the moment? You sound like you desperately need some immediate support for the sake of both you and your children. It doesn't matter if your ex is working or not, this is an urgent crisis and he needs to step up and help! Your mental health is important and it matters. Please please reach out, call a doctor, crisis team, anyone you trust.

Can your sister come round?

My dad is staying and is looking after us.

I am pleased your father is with you taking care of you / your children. Don’t take to heart that he was cross when you couldn’t find your tenancy agreement

Thank you guys feel raw and like I do not belong or deserve anything. I slept most of day and made my dad drink his tea in the dark so he didnt have to look at what a monster i am. He disagreed. He went and got my girls and made us all dinner and cleaned everything up. He's shattered. I managed to get my youngest to bed with a book too. Eldest is finishing homework then sleeping with me as dad has her bed.

Do you have any professional help at the moment?