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Original poster

Feeling like i'm in a black hole again today

70 replies

nutcracker · 13/09/2006 08:40

Just want to walk out and leave them all to it.

I started college on monday (well went for induction) and that was great really enjoyed it and am looking forward to Monday when I start full time but I feel like my life is really out of control in every other way and I hate it.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2006 22:50

Yuck, am feeling even worse now, have had too much to drink and feel crap.

I have to go to bedf soon, to slep in bed with somene ni virtually hate.

Excuse tyops please.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2006 22:55

Argh 'whats the matter ' how many times can one person ask that withouth expecting a slap in the face ??

I think i need to go to bed.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2006 23:03

Am resisting the urge to tell him to f off .he keeps talking to me, i don't wanna talk to him, whats the bloodsy point.

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moondog · 13/09/2006 23:04

I thought when he moved in you told him no sleeping together.
Honestly Nutty,stay away from the booze when you're down.
It makes it all even worse....

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2006 23:06

We are sleeping together but no sex, well he trieds ansd i shout.

I know i shoud stay clear of drink when i feel so crap but what else can i do.

I went to my mums, and waTched tv with her, couldn't stand to stay in here.

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moondog · 13/09/2006 23:11

What does he do all day then???

SherlockLGJ · 13/09/2006 23:13

Moondog

Not to put to fine a point on it, Fck* all.

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 08:25

Very well put LGJ

He has just taken the girls to school and is moaning that it's raining. I have lost count of the amount of times I have taken them and got drowned in the process.

He woke me up several times in the night trying it on.

My mum said last night that she can't see how I will cope with this for another year, but I can't see what else to do.

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mummyhill · 14/09/2006 09:12

Make him sleep on the sofa if he won't stop making advances.

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 10:40

Yeah I should I know, but then the kids will know something is up and I don't want them to know somethings up unless he is actually on his way out of the door.

Feeling really knackered today but then i suppose the drinking didn't help that.

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hunkermunker · 14/09/2006 10:42

Why can't you get rid of him now, NC?

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 10:44

He won't go, he thinks everything is fixable whatever I say.

I have told him i don't love him, told him i don't fancy him, told him i don't want to be with him anymore, that we will never have sex again etc etc etc but he still thinks it's all fixable.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 10:46

I feel really nervy today, not of him just in general, my heart is going like the clappers.

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frumpygrumpy · 14/09/2006 10:49

Nutcracker, i had a bad day yesterday. Its chicken and egg but I do feel heaps better when I limit my glasses of wine. I don't know all the ins and out of your relationship but I admire what you're trying to do. We're here x.

frumpygrumpy · 14/09/2006 10:54

What exactly is his grand plan of fixing? Sounds like you've made yourself perfectly clear.

I also felt calmer when I started forcing myself to drink 4 pints of water a day. And I spray the bach rescue remedy stuff on my tongue when I get the heart beat stuff. It might be all in the mind but I'm a sucker for stuff like that!

I also get a great sense of calm when I chuck out stuff we do not need. God its therapuetic. Admittedly its not his time but could you clear out something else?

tiredemma · 14/09/2006 10:55

your heart going like the clappers and feeling nervy could be mild anxiety nutty.

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 11:46

I think it is anxiety yeah, my hair has been falling out a bit too, not loads and loads but more than normal.

He hasn't got a plan of how is gonna fix things, he just thinks he'll wear me down I suppose, to the point that I can't cope with anything and so have to have him here.

I will try to limit the drinking, i don't normally drink alot.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 11:48

By the way emma, do you need me to email you my dads address ?? If you know the road, the house is a bit hard to miss with all the cars LOL.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 11:50

I know your dads house- If i squint my eyes, I could almost be on a Manhatten sidewalk!

will take them around either saturday or sunday.

if you are online know i will email all of my other stuff.

AND curb the drinking, hangovers are the work of the devil!!

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 11:54

LOL, If it's saturday the taxi won't be there, but the police car will so still easy to spot, along with the smart car and truck etc etc.

If it's sunday afternoon I might actually be at my dads.

I will curb the drinking, promise, can't bloody afford it anyway.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:19

And now my friend has cancelled our lunch date tommorow, just great.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 12:20

just emailed you all that stuff.

is it pissing down by yours? im too scared to go out in case i get swept away down a drain.

tiredemma · 14/09/2006 12:20

is he in the house all of time with you?

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:21

LOL, yep it is most definatly pissing it down here, my garden could double as a swimming pool.

Thanks for the stuff, your a star.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:22

Yep ALL the time, all day every day.

You can see why i'm going nuts can;t you LOL

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