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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Feeling like i'm in a black hole again today

70 replies

nutcracker · 13/09/2006 08:40

Just want to walk out and leave them all to it.

I started college on monday (well went for induction) and that was great really enjoyed it and am looking forward to Monday when I start full time but I feel like my life is really out of control in every other way and I hate it.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 12:26

hell yeah, I would be inclined to put a heavy sedative in cup of tea, let him sleep on the settee, put make up on him while he is asleep then when he comes round, send him to school to get the kids in a full face of make up.

If that is not enough to drive the man away from the area then i dont know what is.....

nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:27

LOL

Nothing i do will drive him away. I could shag half the street and he'd still stay, quite pathetic really.

Ohhh it's thundering here now.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 12:29

yep and here.

you have just got to get on with it i suppose and use him to your advantage, ie looking after kids.

dont get jiggy with him though..

nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:30

Emma there is more chance of me winning the lotto 10 weeks in a row than there is of me getting jiggy with him, believe me.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 12:40

LOL!!

The lotto jackpot on both saturday and wednesday nights, the pools, the national at the bingo.......ha!

I cant understand how he can be happy to go through life knowing that the woman he lives with would rather a family of cockroaches as housemates than him. Bizarre man- but good babysitter..

nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:42

LOL
My mum said the same thing yesterday, but see he considers himself to be old and past it now and so isn't bothered about spending the rest of his life like this.

Did i say he even suggested an open relationship ?

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 12:48

OMG!!! an open relationship?? my word, he really is desperate to cling on to you to the very end isnt he.

Blimy, he must be mad - could you imagine his face with you using him a babysitter to go out on dates??
Not coming home at all until next day with him with a cup of tea waiting for you "did you have a nice evening??..." that would be just pushing it too far.

What would get out of an open relationship??? nothing much I imagine.

nutcracker · 14/09/2006 12:52

He suggested it because he thinks I am planning on shagging my friends cousin, which given half the chance I would but P seems to be forgetting that this bloke lives in London, and also isn't interested in me particularly.

Your right though he realy is desperate to hang on to me, whatever it takes.

Wonder if he'll check what underwear I wear to college like he did when I was at work.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 13:12

weirdo. You might meet some fitto at college ( although deep down I know that this is not likely to happen. The men on my course were freaks)

get some crotchless knickers and a peephole bra before next week. hopefully he should get the message.

whats going on with friends cousin then - are you going to have a rendezvous?

nutcracker · 14/09/2006 13:18

Think i'd have to stalk people in the 6th form to find a fit bloke at college LOL.

There is one bloke in my group, but he is old and ugly

Have known my friends cousin since I was about 7. He is tall dark and handsome and a black belt in some type of martial arts, he teaches it too.
Anyway, we have been talking on msn and texting but i think to be fair to him, i'm just too complicated for him LOL. We might be meeting up in November for his brothers birthday but am not sure yet. I think he'll give me the brush off before then.

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tiredemma · 14/09/2006 13:22

hmmm, he sounds fit..must have a fit bod aswell.hmmm.

anyway - snapping out of it!! what do the other people on your course want to be? and do you think that everyone will turn up next week?

nutcracker · 14/09/2006 13:25

Erm lots of them want to do Midwifery, think there is one that wants to do dietetics (sp?), think there is only me that wants to do nursing, oh one woman wants to be psych nurse.

I reckon there is at least 2 that won't turn up on Monday. Half of them were really late for the induction too.

One girl lives quite far away, has to get 2 trains.

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moondog · 14/09/2006 17:55

Did you ever like him Nutty?
Are the three children his?
Honestly,what does he do all day??

nutcracker · 15/09/2006 11:23

I did like him yeah and I suppose I thought I loved him but now i don't think I ever did. All the kids are his yeah. I was 18 when we met, he was 38, within 3 weeks we were living together.

Have had words with him just and he said that basically i should shut up and get on with it instead of moaning about it.

His daily routine at the mo is to do the kids breakfast, walk them to school (i have stopped going cos he monoploises conversations with my friends)and then sit and watch tv.
2 days a week he will be able to do exactly as pleases as Ds will be at nursery all day.

He said he will find somewhere else but it honestly won't happen. He could have millions in the bank and he still wouldn't go. He loves the fact that he has a hold over me now.

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nutcracker · 15/09/2006 11:27

Oh and plus, cos he thinks I am interested in someone else he is going to try his hardest to make sure I don't end up with them. He didn't say that but i can see his mind working.

Only option i can see at the mo is to not go to college

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nutcracker · 15/09/2006 11:52

Don't wanna deal with this anymore, can I just runaway ??

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Weatherwax · 15/09/2006 12:14

Don't run away and don't give up collage. It sounds as if collage is your route to getting away properly. You do so well Nutty, honestly.

Could you not get two single beds in your room? you then share the room without sharing the bed, tell the kids Daddy's got a bad back! Move the beds apart if you can. I do wish you good luck.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 12:16

Whatever you do, KEEP GOING TO COLLEGE!

My SIL stayed w/an abusive partner for years. 9 of them, in fact.

She started college a couple of years ago, once her boys went into school full time.

Lemme tell ya, it transformed her over those 2 years!

She's got her confidence back, her groove back.

She's now got a job, a nice two bed flat down the road - housing association, and a full, rich life: friends and going out.

No man yet, but believe me, she's not in any rush and she's only 28 so the world's her oyster.

nutcracker · 15/09/2006 12:48

Aww your sis sounds well sorted Expat, good for her

I will keep going to college, I think it will be the only thing that will keep me sane at the mo.

I have told him again that I do not want him here and that as far as I am concerned we don't now and never will have a relationship again, other than being the parents of our kids.
He has since sat and stared at the floor.

I feel so trapped and claustrophobic at the mo and i'm sure he is revelling in that.

I think I am going to see if i can see the college counsellor, it's free so I might awsell.

Hysterically, I went to the docs this morning to ask about changing my pill as i was having horrendous mood swings, and the doc said "are you sure it's the pill and not your man" LOL, I must have looked really miserable or something.

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nutcracker · 16/09/2006 16:42

Just thought i'd up date a bit.

P has actually rung some flats today . Unfortunatly, one had gone and one didn't accept dss. There was also one ad for a house but the phone just rings out all the time.

I am slightly annoyed cos he has also rung alot of house shares. Now house sharing would be fine for him as it's cheap and would be furnished etc etc but it obviously means no staying over for the kids or probably even visiting him there. Am trying to not say anything about that though cos tbh I just want him gone.

Have just found 2 more for him to ring, so hopefully one of these will be good.

I am feeling a bit more positive today. Am a bit worried about college as if P isn't close by I will be rushing around all over the place trying to get kids, drop kids off and stuff, but I'll just have to see how it goes.

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