Not looking for sympathy believe it or not, just need to unburden. but im so ugly. born ugly. and worthless.
watching TOTP on bbc4 and Blondie were on.
i was teenager then and wanted to look like Debbie Harry when i was older. who didnt? shes stunning. one of those faces you cant take your eyes off (and Im not gay!). men were panting for her and girls wanted to BE her. this ugly duckiling has never turned into a swan.
already with deep depression and seeing that has bought me down even more, even though i cant get any deeper.
i never attract anyone (i dont haver the best personailty either, i try though, im unsociable but friendly). ANYONE.
get called ugly troll in the street. only DC loves me. that should be enough but i feel such a gaping hole in my life. im not alone but feel so lonely.
just want to be properly loved by a decent man (after years of abuse). there must be SOMEONE, just ONE man on this planet of trillions of people.
im a lone parent for a good reason.
no matter how i do make up/style hair etc i still literally look like jabba the hut, with a figure to match, no diet or excercise works for me, and im physically disabled too.
sorry. anyone else feel this way? how do you cope? I am having counselling atm but it doesnt take away the feelings.