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Original poster

i have had enough, i want out of this life.

60 replies

misdee · 18/01/2006 20:11

thats it. i cant take any more. just want to give up. no more, just stop it all now. i cant cope, my life is falling apart. my girls deserve better than me. peter deserves better.

OP posts:
popsycalindisguise · 18/01/2006 20:12

oh misdee

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 18/01/2006 20:12

((( misdee )))

Whats happened?

popsycalindisguise · 18/01/2006 20:12

ypu try to be so strong but ae bounf to feel like this. I don;t know how you cope.

Can you get more practical and emotional support from anywhere?

mummytosteven · 18/01/2006 20:13

Sorry to hear this Misdee. Speak to your GP - you sound as if you may be depressed. I know you're going through a horrendous time with Peter, but the way you feel you are worthless is a symptom of depression.

Original poster
misdee · 18/01/2006 20:14

ss wont help as its not me or the kids which are ill, as peter is in hospital we qualify for nothing.

OP posts:
popsycalindisguise · 18/01/2006 20:14

but you WILL be ill if you dont get some help

chicagomum · 18/01/2006 20:15

misdee, I am a lurker on your threads,not a poster as your stamina to continue with what life throws at you amazes and humbles me. Your family are lucky (and when your girls grow up I'm sure they will be very proud of how their mum coped). Can't offer any pearls of wisdom, but a virtual hug . Take care sweetheart.

chicagomum · 18/01/2006 20:16

What that meant to say was your family are lucky to have you.

Original poster
misdee · 18/01/2006 20:16

when dso i find time for me? to,d peter i wont be in tomorrow and he got in a huff. ffs, i cant do it. i cant. if i take care of me i let everyone else down.

OP posts:
sobernow · 18/01/2006 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
misdee · 18/01/2006 20:24

dd2 is now puking, owken up dd3 who is now screaming.

OP posts:
BudaBabe · 18/01/2006 20:26

Oh misdee - really wish I could suggest something.

Just sending you hugs.

trace2 · 18/01/2006 20:27

oww misdee, i know its hard for you, yo;ve been so strong, keep going, please, i wish i lived nearer to help you out(((((hugs))))

LadySherlockofLGJ · 18/01/2006 20:28

Budababe

Your MN broken ?? Or am I just blocked ??

longwaytogo · 18/01/2006 20:28

misdee are you not in a sure start area or just outside one. Sometimes HV will refer you to them even if you live just outside the area. Might be worth it if its only someone to look after the girls while you get a break.

Wish I was closer and could help you. You are a wonderful person and you have done so well, but it must be so hard everyone pulling in a different direction all wanting a bit of you. All I can do is send you cyber hugs and virtual prayers

Hulababy · 18/01/2006 20:28

Oh misdee

You have so much to deal with and do so admirably.

You do need some support and help...is there no one who can help?

MerlinsBeard · 18/01/2006 20:32

Misdee u r so much stronger than u give urself credit for u know? ANyone else whyo has faced the things u have recently would be a wreck by now and u have been so strong for your girls and Peter. I have followed most of ur threads (altho not posted as don't feel able) and just wanted to say that you are allowed a little rest you know! Even if its just for a cuppa in peace!

Have u anyone near you that can come help? where abouts r u? if u r local i can come and distact your girls while u go off and have some wine/bath/read whatever.

(((((((misdee))))))

Original poster
misdee · 18/01/2006 20:33

its fnding time to access these services which my be available.

i am out the house at 8.30 to get dd1 to school, 3 days a week i aim to go straight to harefield. the other 2 days i take dd2 to pre-school. i have been sorting out trying to get dd2 assessed (who is now refusing to make eye contact, even with me), trying to make sure that the other 2 are looked after, trying to see peter as much as possible. MIL says peter cant come home till this pit is atken care of, she seems to feel she has offered practical help (she has offered to take the girls whilst i go to see peter, not any other time) my dad has just had an op and cant help, my mum is pretty tied up with my dad and her other commitments, sparkly has 2 disabled kids and enough on her plate, my other sister lives further away and works, my brother works nights.

OP posts:
Original poster
misdee · 18/01/2006 20:38

i am horrible. i have left dd3 to cry as i am so srtessed iam worried i'll hurt her.

OP posts:
MerlinsBeard · 18/01/2006 20:39

best thing to do if u feel like that, have a brew and then go see what she wants x

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 18/01/2006 20:42

I am trying to think of something helpful to say... and I cant find the words.

Dont worry about dd3, it wont hurt her to be left to cry for a little while. Sometimes i get so stressed that I have to leave mine in another room otherwise im afraid I might hurt them. Take some time to yourself to calm down before going to see to her - make yourself a cup of tea?

Peter wont be in a mood for long, hes fed up and being shut away from the world makes every little thing seem so much bigger to him iyswim but with you having to cope with everything alone its the last thing you need.

Are you able to get a childminder for a couple of hours a week, just so you can do something for yourself, some time for you?

SnowmAngeliz · 18/01/2006 20:42

Misdee. Don't know what to say jsu that i'm sorry you're feeling so down tonight.

winnie · 18/01/2006 20:46

oh misdee, you are not horrible: you are human!

I am sorry that everything is getting on top of you. Wish I could suggest something constructive. Don't feel bad about grabbing time for you ~ even if it does mean missing seeing Peter now and again ~ if you fall apart/get ill it WILL impact on everyone so, like it or not, you need to find time for you.

I think speaking to your HV/GP who may know whats available in your area is a possible start.

Take care, thinking of you x

Janh · 18/01/2006 20:47

misdee, have you told your GP/HV/any other professional that you are feeling like this?

You have been such a rock for everybody, for so long, but you can't keep it up forever; but the support services will let you keep going as long as they think they can get away without having to support you. You need them now - please tell them - don't feel bad, you are a wonderful mum and wife but you can't do it alone, nobody could.

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2006 20:51

misdee, agree with janh. What about homestart? I wish I could wave a wand for you.