Hi, really grateful for any advice on this.
My Grandad is mid-80s and still driving. He is very forgetful, tired and slow. Probably early dementia but nothing diagnosed yet. He struggles to make decisions and react to things in general life so I am worried about him driving still - I haven’t seen him driving recently but based on how he is in general I can’t imagine he is safe in the car. I spoke to my auntie about this and she also feels the same as me - she has brought it up with my grandparents but my grandma shut the conversation down and said he is fine.
My Grandma is very much the ‘boss’ in the marriage and my grandad will do whatever she says, especially due to him struggling to make decisions himself now and has a huge reliance on her.
I have also spoken to my dad about my concerns (he is very much the golden child in my grandmas eyes, so I do think if he raised concerns she might listen). However my dad basically said he gets my points but doesn’t think it’s up to him to say anything and doesn’t want to remove their independence.
I think this is ridiculous as if my grandad hurt someone else I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for not acting. My dad is very selfish and I think is ultimately worried about having to help them more. They do live in a town with access to buses etc so it’s not as if they would be isolated.
I’m now totally stuck as to what I should do next. My auntie is reluctant to raise it again after being shot down, and there is history there with my grandma of her making my aunt out to be the bad person so I understand her reluctance. What would you do?
My grandad also got caught speeding recently and is going on a speed awareness course this week. Is any of this likely to be picked up as part of that? I’ve never had to go on the course so not sure what it consists of.