Disturbing finds in house clearance

[Lockedboxed]

Clearing a hoarder’s house is not fun at all but the most disturbing find was locked boxes of all manner of books and sex toys. You really would never have thought it. Never felt unsafe with the owner (until their diagnosis of dementia, but meds keep them calm now).

I can’t unsee it (and I’m trying to be open minded about consenting adults). I think it might help if anyone has solidarity from their own upsetting finds, to make me feel less alone. Please tell me this isn’t the only time this has happened.

(Regular poster but name changed for this as combined my posts would be outing).

So because they had sex toys it means they were unsafe? I bet all sorts of people have sex toys and paraphernalia, just hidden.

Is the person still alive? I think if the toys are locked up, you’ll be safe.

Well my dad found out he had two older twin siblings that had been given up for adoption when he went through his mum's papers after she died, as far as the family could work out she never told a soul not even my grandad. He also found a bundle of love letters from someone she had an affair with - suddenly my GParents tense marriage made an awful lot more sense.

Why would you feel unsafe though? I'm assuming they were quite elderly (although ofcourse you can get dementia young too). I bet there are plenty of similar boxes hidden in cupboards from the 'Swinging sixties'.

Surely one of the last few things we do for those we've loved who died (or lost mental capacity) is tidy up their life with dignity. No body wants to imagine parents sex lives anymore than they want to go through their other intimate stuff. We all have things in the wardrobe or bathroom cabinet we would chose to share.

Don't judge someone cos they maybe used to have a few kinks

I recently lost a parent and learned a lot from reading their diary, nothing particularly noteworthy though 🤷🏻‍♀️

A friend of mine had to clear an elderly Uncle's house, who'd never married, always lived on his own, bit of a hoarder... and they found his stash of 1950s porn mags called... Swank 🤣
We still have a laugh about it

Swank 😆

I found a piece of paper on which my mother said that I was too much for her as a baby. That was small, but devastating.

It was the number and type of toys. Clearing them was a challenge.

Why did you need to clean them?! Just chuck them in the bin.

@expandabandband I’m so sorry 💐 but maybe it was PND at the time, not how they felt all the time.

Clean them?? Why on earth would you clean them. Straight into a bin bag & dumped

The not a big deal messages are helpful, thank you. The whole thing has certainly made me feel I’m a bit of a prude… but also that I need to go through my own house for adult DC’s sake. Swedish Death cleaning so there is just less stuff is the least I can do.

@Redglitter @TomatoSandwiches The post says clear, not clean (thankfully!!).

My nan kept newspaper clippings from all the Royal Weddings from Princess Margaret till Princess Beatrice. We laughed when we saw she'd doodles devil horns on Charles and Camillas

Clear… no items were kept or cleaned but a collection company I used try to recycle all the waste. Plus you shouldn’t put electrical waste or paint in a household rubbish bin. Maybe I’m overly responsible as well as a prude.

In trying to maintain dignity, dealing with it all became a bigger challenge.

I’m not seeing the issue. Ok, nobody wants to think about a relative getting their rocks off with a butt plug or whatever but unless there was anything suggesting illegal interests I’m not sure why you’d feel unsafe. Just chuck them in the bin!

It is helpful to be told not to clutch my pearls.

And to hear about Swank 😂

@HPandthelastwish that is a far more disturbing find and a sign of a different time I guess. I appreciate you sharing.

locked boxes of all manner of books and sex toys

The first rule is "do not unlock the box", surely?

I dare you to take Swank to the antiques roadshow 😅

Am I the only one who really want to know exactly what type of sex toys they were?

Just me…

Oh well.

I'm curious too, ngl

That's obviously an R not an N. OP said CLEARING them not CLEANING.🤣🤣🤣