Disturbing finds in house clearance

[Lockedboxed]

Clearing a hoarder’s house is not fun at all but the most disturbing find was locked boxes of all manner of books and sex toys. You really would never have thought it. Never felt unsafe with the owner (until their diagnosis of dementia, but meds keep them calm now).

I can’t unsee it (and I’m trying to be open minded about consenting adults). I think it might help if anyone has solidarity from their own upsetting finds, to make me feel less alone. Please tell me this isn’t the only time this has happened.

(Regular poster but name changed for this as combined my posts would be outing).

If you know the area that a serviceman came from, sometimes you can get the Roll of Honour from the local newspaper.

What, so that all of the auctioneers can get together and have a mass debate to ascertain their value?!

I didn't know about that but just Googled it. Blimey! I've bookmarked an article to read this afternoon as it's way past time I was asleep. The Duchess of Argyle, Ethel Margaret Campbell.

I'm picturing Alan Partridge now - am I close?!

Obviously we don't know this person but it seems to me a violation of their dignity.

I think so!

That's the one.

@oakleaffy that's so sad. I often think of people treasures from times gone by that are just discarded. You often hear of this happening with war medals.

I'll Never forgive my sister for throwing out nans lovely vintage Christmas baubles from the 50s because she didn't want them anymore.

Bin them?? Nah, better to leave a note in the box saying
“If I’ve died of old age and you’ve found this, don’t be weird about it.
I’m obviously decrepit now, but I wasn't always old!!
Back in the day when it was time to do the wild thang, trust me, we were freaks who knew how to enjoy ourselves x”

it’s just a better family story 😆😆

I'm glad to see that OP, very early, asked as to her reaction and was comforted by the posts suggesting she just maintain dignity for the person they are clearing for and dispose, and not make too much of it. OP I'm guessing in shock and presumably dealing with quite a bit.

The point of most posts is exactly the point you are making, people of all ages (and medical conditions) have sex, maybe use toys, apparently stash 50s porn...she was just asking for some normality, on what would appear to be an uncomfortable find, for someone she is at least close enough too to be sorting out belongings.

Also, some of the comfort in asking these questions comes from humour; the timing of..."eBay?"made me laugh. But please don't send them even if they are cleaned or cleared!! 🤣

I've heard that it's 'A Thing' in the army whereby they each have a regulation brown envelope in which the soldiers will keep all of their 'sensitive' belongings - letters, photos, memory sticks etc.

Then, if they are killed in action, the envelope is instantly and completely destroyed without anybody asking any questions or their family ever finding out about the contents.

I wouldn't put it past some of the characterful older folk whom I've known to deliberately gather/acquire some of the more fruity items, purely in the knowledge that it will make them look much more 'interesting' once they've gone and their horrified family find it.

Maybe, in life, Great Auntie Mabel's guiltiest secret was spending whole days reading the People's Friend Fireside Book with a very large glass of gin and her feet buzzing away in her electric foot spa... but she knew that something else electrical and buzzy, carefully left to be found in her bedside cabinet after she's departed, would leave her loved ones in no doubt that, in spite of her advanced age, the thug life definitely didn't pass her by

Not house clearing for family, but going round a house when I was working as an estate agent. This is a long and seedy story….
I was actually showing my sister the house as she had been looking for a while, the sale had just fallen through and the price had dropped by £50,000, so it was suddenly in her price range. Two brothers were selling it after their elderly mother had died. Fortunately, the resident brother vacated for the viewing.

I took her round the house and she seemed quite keen…we then went to the garage where there was a musty smell and a huge wicker basket filled with crumpled (used) white tissues. My sweet sister said ‘oh, dear poor man, he must have come here to cry’. I had to point out that he was probably engaged in some other activity that required the use of tissues and that they accounted for the ‘musty’ smell.

Anyway, she bought the house!

The bother who had lived there moved out, but stayed local. Within a few months we learned that he had died in an accident at home, the Police were called to his new house by two sex workers that had left the scene. It was apparently truly an accident, no charges ever made.

Swank, though!

There used to be an old joke about the cars of decades gone by all being named after porn mags - the Mini Mayfair, the Ford Escort and Fiesta etc. - but I definitely reckon that at least one of them must have had a luxury special limited edition model with fancy trim and a couple of extra valves named the Swank

Ugh, but why on earth would they keep them all?

That makes Father Jack's underpants hamper seem like a Jo Malone candle in comparison!

🤣

im curious why you’re linking sex toys with safety? Has it got to do with children? Is it illegal stuff? If neither, why the big reaction, specifically mentioning safety?

Not anything weird, but my friend was clearing out his elderly aunt's house. He kept finding money. Under cushions, in drawers, behind the tins in the kitchen cupboards, in an old teapot. In total he found 70 thousand pounds in cash. He had previously considered just paying a house clearance company to do the clearing. Thank goodness he didn't !!

Similar happened to someone I know, when they were clearing out their father's house.

On a hunch, her brother checked behind the bath panel. It was full of money.

I can't fathom it at all..... even people in their 80s are more savvy than this these days surely !! Strange behaviour. At least that's just money.... I'd hate to find the things other posters have found.... eeuuwww....😂

vinyl harem 🤣

Do the people who do this - hiding large sums of cash in improbable locations - realise that they'll most probably end up handing thousands of pounds over to strangers who eventually find it, rather than their family getting it?

Or do they just not care what happens to their money once they have died?

I believe the old chap had dementia and didn’t trust banks.

But you would hope that they might trust their family wouldn't you - and want them to benefit from their cash after their death?

Plenty of people who don't have dementia also seem to do this, without a word or merest hint to their family - or at least begin doing so many years before they start to suffer from dementia.

Then they should have dealt with their things themselves and not left them for someone else to find. OP is entitled to seek help for her feelings. As you say, we don't know this person, it is all anonymous.