Mum driving into London 81.

[Flyhigher]

I want to try and stop my mum driving into London at 81.
She's insistent. How do you convince a stubborn 81 year old? She's like a toddler.
Help any ideas? She's having dental treatment.
She has to drive along the north circular into hangar lane. Don't really like her driving into London.
Help.

Do you have concerns about her driving ability?

Take her yourself? Arrange for an Uber? Tell her that parking is difficult and that a taxi is easier.

She's a little bit erratic on lanes. She's ok. She's just 81. And it's London.

We don't live near her. So can't take ourselves.

Have you driven much in London? Its where I’ve done most of my driving, ita easy to drive in, people are good at letting people change lanes and apart from certain pockets journeys are generally very slow.

I have driven in London. I don't think the north circular and hangar lane are easy to drive in for an 81 year old.

Have you got elderly parents driving through hangar lane?

Would park & ride be an option? So she could drive to Hanger Lane tube, or maybe Wembley, and get a tube or train in. You can pre-book with Just Park at both locations.

If her treatment involves an anaesthetic, they won't let her leave by herself, will they? And she definitely couldn't drive afterwards.

Unless she's a danger leave her alone. I find describing an older person as stubborn so patronising. Would you treat someone in their 50s like this?

Agreed - see also ‘she’s like a toddler’.

You don’t say if she’s driven there before or if she regularly drives in London.

She's an adult so let her decide.

My 78 year old mum drives round there all the time. Leave her alone unless you have genuine concerns in which case report to dvla

Hanger Lane is easier driving than some places because you just follow the car in front and it is pretty slow.

Has she driven the route before?

Is she driving home after the dentist when she might feel shaky?

Long distance taxi seems to me like the only other option. If you can persuade her there is a deal and she should try it out.

Does she have dementia or some other condition? Otherwise leave her alone. I'd go through my (grown up) children for a short cut if they spoke about me like that.

On the northern circular amd hangar lane you’re basically following the car in front at 20mph, on a quieter a day a more normal speed, any driver should find that very easy. Hangar lane is just a roundabout, and probably one of the easiest to use as its very clearly laid out, signage is good and the crawling traffic means if you need to lane change its very easy.

If you drive in London you’ll know that a lot of the drivers in London who aren’t commercial drivers are older people.

It's not the driving in London that's the issue - it's the parking. Can she park where she is going?

Public transport is almost always easier (depending on where she is coming from of course!)

She’s basically going to be sitting in a traffic jam for a few hours. it’s not fast and furious. I grew up around west london, at peak times it’s a giant carpark. Make sure she knows where she’s going to be parking, she may have a bit of a walk to get where she’s going.

Have you a reason beyond her age? Just because she is 81 and you have anxieties about her, doesn't mean she isn't competent. I had zero concerns about my father's competence at that age, though my mother could no longer drive then due to medical reasons.

My mum is 82 and just passed her advanced driving test so I guess if your mum feels ok to drive then there is no issue

Is she familiar with this route? She may be a lot more comfortable with it than you.

My 84 year old MIL flies to Italy once a year and picks up a hire car from the airport and drives all over the country on holiday - I wouldn’t be half as confident or competent as she is doing the same thing.

Some people think once you get to a certain age they can start calling the shots.

If she’s OK to drive she’s ok to drive in London. The traffic is slow. Presumably she has sat nav?

Yes prebooking parking is a good idea

Hanger Lane and the North Circular are probably the easiest parts of London for driving!

Untill she has an accident.