Mum driving into London 81.

[Flyhigher]

I want to try and stop my mum driving into London at 81.
She's insistent. How do you convince a stubborn 81 year old? She's like a toddler.
Help any ideas? She's having dental treatment.
She has to drive along the north circular into hangar lane. Don't really like her driving into London.
Help.

I think you obviously have real concerns but you need to be respectful. Describing her as a toddler is not respectful.

My mum took her last drive in London aged 86, three weeks before she died of cancer. Not everyone in their eighties is at risk on the roads.

That’s interesting. I didn’t know that. Perhaps there need to be some public information adverts informing people of those kind of changes.

My mum is 80 and still merrily driving round Hanger Lane on her way to dances with her friends, it’s not the age it’s the quality of driving that should be the discussion

Your responses where you say things like “people seem to think it’s fine, maybe it is” are starting to sound a bit sulky, and I say that as someone who is prone to sulkiness myself.

If you think your mum isn’t safe to drive (and if you think she’s unsafe in London then logically she’s unsafe on other roads too) then you ought to say something. Strangers on the internet don’t have the information you do. Maybe you can’t stop her but you ought to try. If you don’t and she causes an accident and she or someone else is hurt you will really regret it.

If you don't think she's safe driving then you can't just wait until she has an accident! That could be someone else killed or seriously injured!

Would you want her to drive along roads where your own child walks, if you have one? Would you want her to drive your own child?

If you have concerns about her driving you can arrange for an assessment (there are assessment centres that offer this for older or concerned drivers), report her to the DVLA or let
the GP know.
www.olderdrivers.org.uk/driver-assessment/find-a-driver-assessment/

What you can't do is nothing and wait for an accident to happen.

Jesus! She's an adult, leave her alone. Driving in London is easy, and to be brutally frank, if she has an accident swapping lanes it will be at about 25mph and although accidents are never nice it's not likely to be life threatening.

Be proud of your mum being independent and confident.

What you can't do is nothing and wait for an accident to happen

That is exactly what you do. Except she's unlikely to have an accident.

People are saying it is all or nothing are right, because it is all or nothing.

If she does a retest, she will pass it and
be able to drive anywhere, or fail it and not be able to drive at all.

Meanwhile, in the real world, there are many many happy, safe drivers aged 80+, getting on with their lives.

There’s evidence that older drivers adapt their driving to be safer, for example a longer gap from the car in front to make up for slower reaction times, and many will not drive at night because of the glare.

Of course, whether you recover in two or 9 seconds is irrelevant when you’re driving on an A road at night against a continuous stream of traffic at about 1sec intervals.

There’s evidence that older drivers adapt their driving to be safer, for example a longer gap from the car in front to make up for slower reaction times, and many will not drive at night because of the glare.

I'm sure many do. I know my own mother hated to drive at night as she got older and avoided it as much as possible.

A close relative who’ll be 80 tomorrow is still driving perfectly competently. I do agree that Hangar Lane can be a bit of a nightmare though.

Will she need to pay the London congestion charge ?

Will she need to pay the ULEZ charge ?

She's now having second thoughts about it all.
Says it's exhausting and traffic is bad.

Help her find an alternative. If she finds herself able to use public transport/taxis, she may start giving up more challenging journeys

She hates the tube

Where does she need to get to op?

She's gradually getting sick of it herself. Enfield over to Ealing.

I think she will stop doing it soon. Maybe a year.

She's now complaining about it.

Once she stops. I'll be sorry I'm sure.

@Flyhigher

I know that it will be quite expensive, but I was wondering whether Addison Lee could take her there and collect her afterwards.

So not into central london then.

She'll be ok in the slow lane of North Circ. Could she not get a cab maybe? (sorry if that's been asked already! )

I guess the parents will stop when they feel ready.