I have posted a few times on here before but things are really gathering pace now and I am really starting to get to the end of my rope.
Brief recap, parents, both in 80s, living in own home, but extremely inaccessible, nowhere near amenities. DM is 'the boss' and my dad's carer, DF has failing mobility but won't use walking aids, and DF has been having regular confusions and red flags for start of potential dementia. Nothing is being faced up to.
In recent weeks, any time I have mentioned something about my dad's confusions, DM has flared up and started getting massively defensive and argumentative. DM is also narcissistic and as a result, I am low contact with her. A silent treatment usually follows, so dealing with her denial about my dad is doubly challenging. She moans constantly and plays the martyr, but explodes if anything is said.
This morning again, she flared up all because she was moaning about having visitors over while getting work done (her own choice) and dreading it. I suggested she rearrange date and she went off on one shouting she needs 'adult company', voice shaking, everything (obv something going in with my dad). Then I get told I overreacted and took her the wrong way, etc, she wants my aunt to visit, etc. It was a huge overreaction, and also told me all I need to know about how things are behind closed doors.