50/50 childcare split after separation: which schedule works best for children?

[Degreesofseparation]

Hi all,
My ex and I have recently separated and are trying to work out a 50/50 childcare split. For context, kids are 13 and 9, we are trying to do this as amicably as possible and we live extremely close to each other.
I think the best way to approach the contact is by each parent having the same two week days and then alternating the weekend. So -
Week 1
Mon, Tues - parent A
Tues, weds - parent B
Fri, sat, sun - parent A

Week 2
Mon, Tues - A
Weds, Thurs - B
Fri, Sat, Sun - parent B

And so on.
I like the idea of this because it means the kids have less transition and have the opportunity to have a longer (5 night) stretch with either parent once a fortnight. They know where they are on which days each week and it's generally more settled. And, because we are so close, we can still see the kids when we need/want.

He wants a schedule that alternates every 2/3 nights:
Week 1
Mon, Tues - A
Weds, Thurs - B
Fri, Sat, sun - A
Week 2
Mon, Tues - B
Weds, Thurs - A
Fri, Sat, sun - B
And so on.

He feels it will be better for them to have less time apart from the other parent. I feel like this is unsettling and, as said above, the kids can see the other parent (by and large) when they want because of our unique living arrangements.

We've been living apart for two weeks and have been following his way so far.

Does anyone have any experience or wise words about this debate? Is there any research that points towards the best way to do this?
Thanks so much

After my own divorce we did it this way, because it was just as good as any other way for the kids and it was excellent for the parents:

It means that each parent has a stable pair of free weeknights (Mon+Tue or Wed+Thu) and can make social plans that involve a weekly commitment (eg evening courses, regular group activity), and each parent has the opportunity to go away for a full weekend with the kids once in a while, and to go away for a full weekend WITHOUT the kids once in a while.

We did not find any other schedule that accomplished these goals, and it seemed to work for everyone.

Once my daughter got to 12 she decided where she wanted to be. Now 16 she’s with me every night and sees her Dad when she wants to, has a great relationship with him and speaks to him most days. But her home is with me. Ultimately listen to your children, no matter what the parents want.

We do your proposed schedule and it’s worked really well for 10 years. One at uni now and still wants to do that when she is back home. We live fairly close and are flexible for holidays etc.

I think we would all have found your ex’s proposal more difficult, and the same with one week on one week off. We find it easier for children and us to do the same days each week. Mon and Tue I have children so I wfh and finish on time. On Wed and Thu I can go to the office and work later if needed. When younger childcare would have been really difficult having them different days each week. The children find it easier that they know eg it’s Tuesday so they are with me. It’s just the weekends that alternate.

I think the key takeaway from all the comments is there is no one size fits all. It’s best to consult with the children , especially teens and listen to them. And as they grow or routines change with their social lives don’t force them to rigidity but allow flexibility without emotion. If you put a schedule in place and the children ultimately down the line don’t like it, change it.

Exactly like mine

and he pays a very large amount of child maintenance to reflect that fact

I have teens and we do week on/week off, works well and they can (and do) pop in when it's not my week, as I live close to their school. They couldn't cope with moving more often than that.

I see you @ me in a comment which I assume wasn’t pleasant otherwise I would be able to view it!

I find it ironic that you were saying yesterday and I quote “I don't think I know enough to have any such definitive conclusions about the "majority" of any group that must comprise millions”

Yet here you are telling a poster that most teenagers don’t want alternative weeks! Big assumptions being made there I’d say for someone that doesn’t make them….