Letting it Rip

[MidnightMonsterMunch]

Why does covid rip rather than spread?

Does flu rip too?

Covid always seems to be ripping through something.

@Unicornish

"stay home" - so bloody American. It is "stay AT home" surely?

Yeah, I hate gratuitous Americanisms and that is definitely one.

Don't forget 'Stay the fuck home!', just for added rage and self-righteousness.

What are they going to use as their slogan now? I'm going for 'I wear a mask to protect others'. They could have it printed on said mask.

I love this thread. Such an antidote to the doom mongering posts.

Don't forget 'Stay the fuck home!', just for added rage and self-righteousness

Ahh, you've just reminded me of this song - the last time I heard it we were right at the beginning of Lockdown 1!

😂 great clip @Watercoloursky

Don’t forget that the virus not only rips but it can also ‘run rampant’ - sounds quite poetic!

@GoldenOmber

‘Covid secure’ always makes me imagine bouncers on the door ready to turf it out.

“You’re not coming in, you’re covid.”
“No I’m not! I’m a common cold coronavirus, look, I’ve got ID and everything!”
“That’s your older sister’s provisional driving license, covid. Recognise that spike protein anywhere. Out you go, sonny.”

I just read on here that a country* was ‘throbbing with Covid’ which made me feel a bit ill 😳

*always U.K.

@MarshaBradyo

I just read on here that a country* was ‘throbbing with Covid’ which made me feel a bit ill 😳

*always U.K.

Oof that's a bit of a niche Mills and Boon!!

I prefer 'swollen' or 'pulsating'.

Boris lightly gripped the UK, which was pulsating with COVID, and then teasingly trailed his fingers along its length.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

I prefer 'swollen' or 'pulsating'.

Boris lightly gripped the UK, which was pulsating with COVID, and then teasingly trailed his fingers along its length.

Well that's put me right off my teatime sausage sandwich.

I’m struggling with this maybe should have felt ill alone

@TheVampiresWife actually just remembered I'm having hot dogs tonight too 😳

I wonder if the virus will be ripping exponentially or if it’ll be just doing sort of normal ripping.

Sorry to be a scare mungerer.

@MarshaBradyo there's more where that came from

Haha

I absolutely loved that thread about whether or not people's staying home was "the fuck" enough, and what the OP could do to make hers more so 😂

I also hate the comeback of "Sorry a global pandemic is inconvenient for you" whenever anyone dares to suggest that isolating when you're not ill is a tad irritating if you don't get paid when not at work.

Best laugh I've had in ages! Thanks everyone

I let a fart rip in the supermarket recently.
It was not remotely contained by at least two layers of clothing.
It was most efficous at encouraging Social Distancing though

I miss a bit of flocking and flouting though, it was one of the most fun bits of 2020

The buses seem to be having a quiet phase... I reckon that their suspensions are being upgraded to cope with all the school pupils and teachers that must no doubt be due to be thrown under them in September.

Here's hoping the House of Commons will take the lead and pack it out maskless with braying hordes of Tories to lead by example. Johnson's diet doesn't seem to be going very well.

@Unicornish

Variations of "I went to X for VERY important and special reasons and I was HORRIFIED, APPALLED and TERRIFIED by how many people were there. Why don't people understand what stay home means???????!!!!"

There were some absolutely belting threads like this last year!!!!!

Soaring case numbers?

OUR Nhs?

On its knees?

Sadly died? (Of course it is sad, but it feels so horribly disingenuous every time a politician says it)

I do thoroughly enjoy launching my kids into school to fill their classrooms with covid soup breathe before going off to Primark for a bit on nonessential shopping before flouting off to the local pub for, shock horror, alcohol. I then swan into school and pick up my darling germ vectors before heading off to the park to watch them ignore social distancing whilst ensuring my track and trace app is switched off. Hopefully, if I've flaunted really well I can infect a few Granny's along the way. I'd try to infect Grandads too but apparently in covid times they are not available but other relatives are available.

I will then jump on mumsnet to hear all about the friend of a neighbour whose auntie saw a nurse who said they have been TOLD to prepare for the oncoming apocalypse by taking their holidays early.

Ahhh, what fun times we live in.

There were some absolutely belting threads like this last year!!!!

And they always went the same way.

• Went out this morning to find my town absolutely rammed. Nobody wearing a mask or practicing social distancing. Sorry, is it just me or is there a pandemic on? Aren't we supposed to be staying (the f*ck) home?

• But OP you were one of those people doing the 'ramming'!

• Yes by my visit was absolutely essential and I only leave the home once every 5 weeks to buy bread and dripping.

And so on.

Also, the policing of what is and is not 'essential'. There was an entire thread dedicated to whining about why B&Q was left open for the chavs to buy cheap scented candles and discouted Wispas. Why can't they be socially responsible and have their quinoa and organic avocados delivered to their home by Ocado?

Yes by my visit was absolutely essential and I only leave the home once every 5 weeks to buy bread and dripping.

Oh God, flashbacks to 2020.

I am popping out to pick up a few essential bits and bobs, socially distanced of course
You are thoughtlessly flocking to the shops for a panic buying spree.
She is a selfish stupid hoarder clearing the shelves so our nation’s keyworkers will have to go without.

You are all in Tesco at the same time buying the same things!

It’s like some people think they’re only a pair of eyes and everyone else is a walking Covid

"Stay safe"
“Keeping everyone safe"
"Keeping you safe"

FFS it's a virus, not Dinosaurs. I don't need to be kept safe, I'll sort myself out, thanks. I've been looking before I cross the road for years, I've got plenty of experience.