10 villains breathing , 9 bbqs smoking, 8 online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

7 friends laughing
6 flaps bleached
5 covid masks
4 cool kids smoking
3 deadly hangovers
2 claps a' missin

And a partridge in a pear tree. Socially distancing of course.

Thread number something? Forgot to keep count.

That's why I have you murderous, despicable , flappy villains.

Not pathetic at all. I get it. As I said before I'm not British and from a EE country with a bad reputation at that. The comments and the jokes have been never ending.

Some people are dicks, and they have their head so far up their arse they just regurgitate shit. Not to mention they can't accept they're racist, because racists are US rednecks/EDL types. Not them. Nooo, they're just joking around.

I think I shall have an alcoholic morning.

The rhubarb gin, peach brandy and wine from our own grapes all need to be bottled and I have some blackcurrants from last year to be turned into creme de cassis.

We will never be self-sufficient but with the cat bringing in KFC and home made liqueurs we should be able to carry on for a while.

Can I move it?

Bet it smells lovely there this morning.

Ooh Gnome that's fab!! And I thought I'd done well growing some lettuce 😂

Everyone round to Gnomes house for a special cabinet meeting! We can help bottle drink her booze while we are there cos we are helpful sorts.😉

Lovely sunny day again with nowhere to go. It will be bloody miserable by the time june/july comes round and we can go places knowing my luck.

I want to live at Gnomes too. Then everyone can join in winding my Trev up!

penguinsbegin you arent over reacting. I fit in to several minority groups. I dont mind jokes so much. But sometimes people just carry on even after you point it out and too often it goes to far.

I definitely wouldn't mind some bottling and winding up.

Trying to sort out childcare for half term/1st of June is a nightmare at the moment. Been emailing / texting and trying to make them fit all morning. Homeschooling and working from home done though, so long weekend for us.

OH wants to go somewhere at the weekend... no idea where he thinks we're going.

Our schools here have had a letter. Saying that schools will be loved for all children over half term. The teachers will be off too.

Then opening up after. But the letter makes clear they cant guarantee saftey, or education and that there will be no fines if you choose to not send your kids.

It very much reads as 'we have to open because we have been told to...but don't send your kids'. Not in an arsey way. But in 'we know this isn't going to work and isn't safe kind of way

Yeah it seems DD's school will be shut during half term, but I'm working. I'll figure it out.

No answers yet for June, she'd be under key worker's child scheme, which is the main issue if I need to go back full time.

Can't have OH off as he's SE and we bloody need the money after he's been off for so long.

I am glad my DCs are grown up in these plague times. University has brought its own problems (lack of direction and support) but at least we arent having to sort childcare which sounds like a nightmare.

Gin is bottled, wine set to clear. Peach brandy is proving to be soliddifficult to clear, do you all mind drinking it with a spoon?

Gnome, a spoon sounds just fine to me 😊

Right so if I'm a bit quiet today it's because it's 5 years today since I lost my dad. It was a horrible time and completely by surprise with no time to say goodbye. I can't even go hug my mum who's in pieces today. I will save my tears for when DD2 has gone to bed. And there will be much alcohol.

Oh Cow I'm sorry for your loss . Hugs

Gnome I've drank from a (clean) vase before, so a spoon wouldn't be an issue. Plus.. peach.

Thanks princess 😊

Keeping busy today, and trying not to be a moody cow for DD2 sake. I could definitely go for some peach brandy though!

Afternoon murderers

Hope everyone is still doing ok

Ive had a mental week, and ive ended up with a baby. A baby cat He's a lovely little thing. So thats kept me occupied. I'm off to Pets At Home, a Garden Centre, B&M and a Supermarket this weekend. Still determined to be naughty and kill a few people along the way

crow just make it through the day with everyone alive, and then need what you need to do after bedtime.

@loobyloo1234 baby cat? Where ? How?

You must post pictures.

I'm always jealous of people on fb finding all these baskets/boxes/bags of kittens.

Sending big cuddles and a few bottles of Crow!

In other news. The village shop sold cupcakes for clapping the NHS yesterday. FFS....

I'm keeping busy applying for jobs whilst on Furlough. Just in case my company folds in the interim.

The child is going to her dad's tonight for the first time since lock down this weekend so I can have some saucy time with the temporary live-in boyfriend.

I'll have to do some topiary etc....

Will go on a killing spree first to get some decent food and wine in!

Hopefully all the volunteery stuff I've done this week will exonerate me for a small portion of my terrible crimes. Does one counteract the other do you think?

It's life as normal in my part of the village. Neighbour's kids all playing with each other and visitors popping in. The business across the road in full swing with no social distancing. It's easy to forget about lockdown until I venture out into the gloom.

I have noticed that people are more chatty and smiley when out and about. Almost mediteranian rather than British.

You guys are fab. Wine and hugs appreciated. Being able to just put stuff out there on your thread princess really lifts my spirits.

I have a bottle of ginger wine. I've never had it before so it may be a huge mistake but ginger makes it sound virtuous and almost medicinal, plus there's the word 'wine' on the label which is always a plus. Will find out if it's vile later. I'll have a good cry and phone my mum and then shamelessly message my possible post-lockdown shag to take my mind off what a shit day this is. He's 12 years younger than me 😏

So, topiary.. I've been off the market for so long, what's the 'norm' these days? I'm assuming not 70s porn bush? Or is that back in vogue?

Oh flip. Welsh Government have finally published their plan. I've flipped through it. It's all, "maintaining social distancing" even in the green phase. Do they not understand that human beings need contact? Also, how do they ever expect people to meet new partners etc? (Not an issue for me, I'm quite happy with the one I've got but it's just ridiculous.)

Starting to wonder if what I should look for is when moving to Northern Ireland is allowed under the plan as their road map seems to have the most allowance to actually see friends and family. (Although moving to Northern Ireland might defeat the point of that.)

Somewhere between furious and intensely upset right now.

Crow 💐 sorry its such a sad day for you. I had the same with my dad bloody awful time.

Just do the mimimum of what you have to till you can let it all out.

Pink I am 🤣🤣 at cupcakes for clapping! Did you have to bang 2 cupcakes together? I just have this picture of cake crumbs flying everywhere and neighbours all smiling like loons at each other for "doing thier bit" 🤣🤣 Voluntary work cures everything dont ya know except curtain twitching so you are fine. Its like lettuce it cancels out everything else on your plate cos its healthy😉

Kitten!! How do people find kittens? Photos please.

Feeling very virtuous as i have cleaned out 2 drawers in kitchen, sorted out the pile of paperwork lying on kitchen counter. Last cupboard to do.

On the subject of topiaries, I've been with OH for 12 years (fuck me how's that even possible?!) so mine is in a virgin forest state more often than not.

Before that I was fairly conditioned that it should be all gone.

I'd say go for whatever you feel and FEEL comfortable with.

Yeah I'm gonna go with what feels best to be, topiary wise. Exh always insisted I have what he preferred so it'll be good to just say look this is my body, this is how I prefer it, like it or lump it.