10 villains breathing , 9 bbqs smoking, 8 online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

7 friends laughing
6 flaps bleached
5 covid masks
4 cool kids smoking
3 deadly hangovers
2 claps a' missin

And a partridge in a pear tree. Socially distancing of course.

Thread number something? Forgot to keep count.

That's why I have you murderous, despicable , flappy villains.

I have name changed for added coolness. And because I realised previous name was a tad too close to an online name I use for playing online games, which lots of my friends know, and thought I should move away from that.

(I'm the pregnant Welsh one though!)

Oh i figured that one out 110.

Still no idea who penguin is..

Are you guys being "ALERT"?

Morning Cool Clubbers.

Pink its called 'The Bay' all done in retrospect by an ex tv journalist. Bit different to usual.

Ended up talking to ds1 about it in kitchen then he told me about one he had watched as we gravitated from kitchen to stand at top of stairs then ds2 came out his room to say he didnt need a bedtime story😄 We all chatted at top of stairs about random films and actors till i thought shit Look at the time (2.15) and chased them to bed! 😀

Princess be alert, your country needs Lerts😉
Who is he?

Needless to say after late night i have slept in. But its windy and cold out there so not in any hurry to go out. it was raining and wild last night typical BH weekend weather.😀

Have jobs to do just need to get motivated. First another coffee just to kick start me. Plus James Martin is teaching me how to cook so it would be rude to leave him😉

KBO

Morning cool kids, it's a crappy day here. Who stole the sunshine?? What's this wet stuff coming out of the sky?

Looks like an indoor day then. Pjs and Netflix tralala.

Willow I met James Martin at a book signing, I had a picture of him from a magazine and it was a nude haha so I made him sign his own bum

He's still quite lovely and a Yorkshire bod like me. That gives him extra points. Actually we could do with adding a chef to the hot menz list, can we have him?

Crow definately. I like his cheek and down to earth attitude to cooking and he can laugh at himself and his butter obsession,
'Yorkshire portions' etc. 😀 Yes i know he is living the dream etc etc but so would i be if I could😀
Love the fact you made him sign his own bum🤣

Willow we had a right giggle, he was ace. I had his book but I put the nude pic inside the front cover and he opened the book looked at the pic, looked at me and said you're gonna make me sign my own bum aren't you. And then he said he knew I looked like trouble when he saw me in the queue. See even famous chefs know I'm a cool trouble making kid destined to be a Bananian

Be ALERT you guys.

Does this mean the virus can now swoop out of nowhere and mug us?

Wtf happened to the weather?

Put your hand up.. who broke it?

Sadly I'm a fair weather killer so hiding inside today.

I broke the weather

It’s horrendously hot in my flat and it holds heat for a long time

So I’m relieved it’s broken but it’s still hot with all the windows open, maybe tomorrow will be better

The fridge has packed up last two summers because it’s not designed to work in temps over 35c

If lockdown isn’t lifted, I really hope for a cold summer.

Jesus Lilac must be awful. Do fans make a difference?

Lilac if you broke it that's alright then, you must've been sweltering in your flat.

I've just jumped on the thread about people ending lockdown themselves this weekend. Bloody good for them. Time this shit show was brought to a close.

Penguins do you need some hexing? I'm in a hexing mood. Twat exH is being a twat and I'm considering putting him in a sour bar in the back of my freezer because karma is taking too fucking long.

*sour jar not bar

Fkn phone hates me today.

crow what's he done now?

penguins ahhh swear away .. and rant when it's safe to do so. Maybe hide under the guise of a movie you've seen.

Lilac you're forgiven btw, sweltering flats trump banana's dislike of cold.

Fans don’t help much, unless you’re happy to sit in front of them all day.

Being a tower block, the windows don’t open properly or everyone would top themselves. Well, I think child safety might be a factor but happily not one I have to think about.

Today’s going to be weird. I should have snuck out before....I think they are announcing bigger fines for rule breaking this evening.

Hex bags for everyone!!

Thanks princess!!

Meh it's a long and tedious story but safe to say he's been at his cuntiest lately and I'm thoroughly sick of waiting for karma to catch up with him. DD2 is a super kid, and she's really struggled with lockdown (like most kids I imagine), and he has just kept piling the shit on regardless.

I'm not ashamed to say I hope that one day she turns round and tells her dad to fuck right off, because he deserves nothing less.

The exceptional frother is not to be confused with the common frother. While the common frother still interacts with the outside world carrying on with their doodies, the exceptional frother is normally isolated, hiding in their nest of tins and toilet paper for weeks on end.

Despite their instinct to stay buried, the necessity of frivolous needs like food and medicine can sometimes send the exceptional frother in the wild against their will.

The internal fight between survival instinct and "I won the hide and seek competition 15 weeks in a row" instinct made the exceptional frother break out in sweats, tremble and twitch at the sight of another human, or a bench that could've possibly been touched by another human.

Already anxious and fearful, the exceptional frother approaches the supermarket hunting ground. However ,Due to their isolation they have no idea of what the rules of conduct are , while screaming internally "This is not what I imagined". Exceptional frothers tend to have their own set of rules and rituals that are not accepted by the wider community. This will often become confusing and disorientating for the exceptional frother , who can't accept that they are not law makers.The feeling of wrongness overwhelms the exceptional frother this freezing them in place , unable to move out of the way of the other hunters, thus exposing the exceptional frother to increased levels of human proximity and even touching.

Eventually, the exceptional frother can take no more, they break free of their panic and abandon all hope or need for food in their rush to go back to the safety of their nest.

Once appropriately ensconced, the exceptional frother will have a cleansing ritual consisting of rocking back and forth in a Dettol bath, reporting squirrels for not socially distancing and muttering about "covidiots" and "broken lockdown".

Despite the gruelling trials, after the cleansing ritual and gaining some strength from a cheese and cereal lunch, the exceptional frother will retreat on the internet, where it can lord it's superiority and exceptionalness on everyone else from a safe distance.

Crow can you limit the non face to face contact with her for her own good?