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Original poster

How long can you realistically not see your family for?

109 replies

YourNameIsSenNow · 23/04/2020 14:06

I know the simple answer is 'until lock down is over'

However, I took my kids out of school a week early.

We've followed every lockdown rule since then.

Complete isolation for the kids. Just walks in fields. They've been near no adult but us.

I'm feeling so lonely.

As is my sister. Single parent.

She lives a short walk away and we've not seen each other for a month.

I'm seriously considering asking her over for the kids to play

She's been isolating too completly.

Highly unlikely any of us have it. No symptoms at all.

It seems like A&Es are very quiet

I know I'm probaly being unreasonable but we've followed every instruction and I feel like I'm going insane for some adult conversation and normality.

I can't do this much longer

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2020 14:10

I'm doing it until lockdown is over. Also a single parent. Having no adult conversation is hard but it's just one of those things. And my DS is an only child so he has no one his own age to play with.

It's just how life is at the moment and we need to suck it up.

TheSquitz · 23/04/2020 14:10

YABU My sister and brother live within 15 minutes walk(in opposite directions). Dsis lives alone and DB has LD and lives in supported accommodation. We speak daily on the phone but it would be incredibly stupid of us if we were to meet up. I know this is hard but you cannot risk it, and you know that.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/04/2020 14:12

It's absolutely shit. Completely and totally.

But no, you can't get together. Sorry Flowers

TimeForChange123 · 23/04/2020 14:13

I think a lot of people are going to start doing their own risk assessments and weighing up the risk of COVID and the risk to their MH of being isolated. Especially if lockdown is extended.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 23/04/2020 14:14

This is the issue with prolonged lockdowns. People get fed up and start to break them. We can’t live like this for much longer. I know many single people who are very depresses

Dreamersandwishers · 23/04/2020 14:14

Can you do a WhatsApp call?, FaceTime or Skype? I have seen my sister as we live close by and I have passed her out on walks, it’s been nice to physically put eyes on her but we can’t stop & chat so we do that on the phone.
It is tough, but it will pass.

FireandFury · 23/04/2020 14:14

Missing DPs DC very much at the moment. Hard for me and so so hard for my DP.

PippaPegg · 23/04/2020 14:15

You're not going to get anyone here telling you to go for it..

BroomstickOfLove · 23/04/2020 14:15

My family are all abroad apart from my dad, so I think it will be at least a year before I see any of them in person.

Figgygal · 23/04/2020 14:16

Of course you can do it everyone is in the same boat or should be

Agree with others Skype FaceTime zoom you don’t physically have to be in the room with people

user1493413286 · 23/04/2020 14:16

I think you need to imagine if everyone did that it would make lockdown a bit of a joke. I do sympathise; I’m desperate to see my family.
On a different subject though how are you both managing to not go to the shops at all?

Kazzyhoward · 23/04/2020 14:18

If this had happened 20 years ago, things would have been so much worse without the internet, smart phones, etc.

But, today, there's so many ways of keeping in touch - text, group chats, facetime, skype, email, phone, etc etc., I really can't understand all these people saying they're missing friends, family etc. Aren't you talking, texting, facetiming, eachother? Surely you're keeping up in other ways? Do you really need to physically be in the same place at the same time?

I really don't get it at all. My brother lives just 30 minutes away. I've not been physically near him for many years, but we at least text every day, facetime maybe weekly, send emails with longer "letters" etc occasionally when we have more to say than a text. We are very much part of each others' lives, but don't have the need to be within a few feet of eachother to do it.

BlackCoffeeExtraStrong · 23/04/2020 14:22

I understand that it's so hard. We all do, but no, you can't do that. We need to continue what we're doing for now.

There will be an end, but that doesn't stop us all freaking out from time to time and thinking "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE" but we have to.

PumpkinP · 23/04/2020 14:24

I haven’t seen my mum or brother in 3 years as we are NC so I’m probably not the best person to answer, but it’s a few months I’m sure you can manage that, just get on with it like we all have to: everyone is in the same situation. I’m a single parent to 4. It’s not an excuse to break the rules.

MrsJoshNavidi · 23/04/2020 14:25

But if you see your family, why can't I, and everyone else see their family?
You're not "special"

It's simple
Stay at home, save v lives, protect the NHS.

Noworrieshere · 23/04/2020 14:27

I know this is hard but you cannot risk it, and you know that

It seems to me that the risk is tiny. It honestly does. That's why it is so hard.

mummymeister · 23/04/2020 14:27

But you see OP this is the thing. If everyone thinks that their little breach of the lock down rules doesnt matter and why shouldnt they because we are all fighting our own demons on this at the moment, then the virus will resurge and the last several weeks will have been a waste.

we arent in a full lockdown, not like some other countries have been and the reason for this was because the govt has tried to carve a middle course. at the end of the day the lifting of the lockdown will be a balance between the economy and excess deaths. at the moment its excess deaths when they reduce it will tip the balance to economy. we will still have lots of people dying of covid but just not as many as now.

Wired4sound · 23/04/2020 14:29

Honestly op I’ve thought everyday for the last week “I can’t do this anymore” but I have every day.

Just focus on a day at a time Flowers

Christmastree43 · 23/04/2020 14:31

I'm so desperate to see my family, I am expecting my first baby and feel like I am missing out on so much already, plus every now and then tempers fray with my other half and I'd love so much to see my mum and dad.

I really don't know how much longer it can go on for.

Does anyone know what the arrangements are in countries coming out of lockdown? When have they been able to see friends and family?

My good friend lives in Denmark and they are still allowed to meet friends. She says Danes are so cautious there's not been much mixing going on - lots of Danes decline social invitations of their accord - which I know would not be the case here.

I am just dying to know when we may be able to meet 😢

Mumshappy · 23/04/2020 14:32

I see no reason why people cant extend their circle as long as the people within it havent been anywhere at all. I would do this with my parents but unfortunately ds2 is seeing his dad who lives with his mum and sister.

cupcakehurricane101 · 23/04/2020 14:34

My family and husband's family live abroad and we only see them once a year so it's ok for us, that aspect hasn't changed.

Frompcat · 23/04/2020 14:35

maybe another month at most and then I'm going to see my mum and my sisters.

Frompcat · 23/04/2020 14:37

really can't understand all these people saying they're missing friends, family etc. Aren't you talking, texting, facetiming, eachother? Surely you're keeping up in other ways? Do you really need to physically be in the same place at the same time?

It isn't even slightly the same and I think inferring that it is is massively disingenuous. My son is 4. He hasn't got the attention span for facetime. He can't play silly games with his aunties via facetime or have a cuddle from his Granny.

ilovecakeandwine · 23/04/2020 14:38

However, I took my kids out of school a week early.
I sympathise that you are lonely and miss your family but why did you take you kids out a week before everyone else? ,
We all are tbh but take it day by day , it's difficult for all . If you think weeks ahead or longer it will send you mad .

purpleboy · 23/04/2020 14:42

I agree with timeforchange and mumshappy

If you have been in self isolation, including no shopping trips! And so has your sister, then there is no risk involved. If a single person from either household is out shopping or working then there is a risk and you shouldn't meet.

Yesterday walking the dog we stopped at a pond, there were 2 other families all socially distancing, but we all ended up talking across the pond. So I spent 20 minutes talking to a bunch of complete strangers, but I can't see my family who haven't left the house in over a month? I can't see the logic.

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