The “I just had a sit down in the park with crisps” brigade

[Candodad]

You are the problem. The rules are simple. Go out and exercise and then go home. Just that, nothing more than that.

To be fair then problem is actually bigger than that and has been brewing for years as we increasingly become a country with rules but almost everyone has an excuse for why that rule shouldn’t apply to them/their child/family.

An oat cake would be better.

We’re veering into category error here I’m afraid. I was at my very limits when I suggested vegetable.

Fair point. In that case I suggest not eating anything.

You do know the virtuousness (or otherwise) of an activity has no bearing on risk? Coronavirus doesn’t say ‘ah well I was going to infect this dickhead doing box jumps but she’s trying to be healthy and better herself so I’ll go get that pleb eating quavers instead’.

They're still quite greasy. You'd have the urge to wipe your hands and mouth. Which is bad and risky.

You could slightly crush them and then tip straight from packet to mouth.
This might require some practice at home to get right.

Laurie No, doing it in public is better

Shows people you’re taking it seriously, inspires them to do it too. Flagellation parties will be the next big thing, I tell ya.

Laurie thank you so much, I think you should write a guide to Covid manners, it is so important to keep up standards.

What do you think about the oramorph, do you think it is OK for him to take it, I mean if he hadn't he could probably have crawled to the car but that could be seen as attention seeking?

I don´t think an oat cake would be a better snack option. Oat cakes always make me really thirsty and then it would be an oat cake AND a drink on a park bench. The horror.

Well I will sit on benches without worry, I think a car full of police officers, another of Coastguards plus the bomb squad observing 2 of us on a bench and not reacting in any way must mean it is fine. I will admit we replaced the crisps with oramorph but I can't believe that would make much difference.

As long as it was virtuous water you’d probably be ok... Covid wouldn’t touch you. If it was Sprite you’d be fucked.

What do you think about the oramorph, do you think it is OK for him to take it, I mean if he hadn't he could probably have crawled to the car but that could be seen as attention seeking?

No pain relief. Suffering is good remember. If we suffer enough the virus will go away. That’s how it works.

Thank you Laurie, I will have stern words with him. I've always thought he was hamming it up a bit, it isn't that far to crawl.

It must be awfully chilly and miserable up there on the moral high ground that some of you folks aspire to occupy.

Rules are made for the guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools.

This is possibly my favourite thread of these times mine too. I've just read the beginning and end now I'm going to fill in the middle. Which is how I read my proper books YA fiction

Oh yeah, Every fekker's got a reason to be out and about. The longer we take the piss, the longer this is going to last
No it isn't. I'm too exhausted to explain this to yet another not so bright poster

In normal times I have no issue with anyone sitting on the bench. At the moment I simply feel people should use some
discretion. Given the grass is so dry and lush with daisies right now, surely you'd rather sit there.

So using the bench as your personal gym is ok but the actual purpose of the bench is indiscrete? Wtaf is this country coming to?

Someone actually exercising is being virtuous. Someone eating crisps is not being virtuous. It really is that simple

Oh give your head a wobble, virtuous?? You do know many people do all kinds of exercise purely because they enjoy it not because they want virtue points. Actually you maybe need to look up the meaning of virtuous!🤔

It's not possible to be creative and repurpose every day objects?
Not if you are jumping all over them and telling people they cant use them for thier real purpose
You sound like a toddler "I want so i have to have my way"

Was lovely in the park today. Was almost like old times. People sunbathing on the grass, feeding the ducks, running, walking , dogs , kids scooting , riding bikes, people sat on benches admiring the flowers..we only needed the kiosk open for ice creams and it would’ve been situation normal.

I think it must’ve been announced that lockdown was officially over. I don’t see or read the news but judging by this afternoon , it was like Prison Break in there.

I could really do with some salt and vinegar squares right now

I think you mean salt and vinegar squats.

Someone needs to ask Matt Hancock about all this box jumping tomorrow. Get the fella well and truly worked up.

Someone actually exercising is being virtuous. Someone eating crisps is not being virtuous. It really is that simple.

As pp said, being virtuous isn't the aim here.

However, relieving the NHS is. A person eating a bag of crisps is in far less danger of using NHS resources right now.

The person doing box jumps, is in far more danger of having an accident and needing to go to hospital.

So its not really more virteous at all. Having their shoes on a bench, is more likely to spread germs.

If the person who sits down after them has health issues, that person is more likely to need the NHS from all the crap from the bottom of someone's shoes, rather because someone sat down eating crisps.

The person putting their shoes on a bench is spreading germs far more than someone eating crisps.

Being virteous isn't the aim. However, doing box jumps on a park bench isn't virteous at all.

Its a simple cases of you talking bollocks.

Surely this is one for the classics. One is discussing crisp grease, squat sweats and a virus. Linked up. Mashed all up together. This must surely now belong in classics.

I’m feeling you right now @pjmask

I want crisps
Off to the shop not 😂

oh wow. This thread is indeed the pinacle of COVID madness. Right here. I really hope someone has told the virus how it is supposed to behave, that in fact it needs to pay attention to a whole complex series of Roolz when deciding who to infect, quite unlike how a virus has ever behaveed before. For example person jumping up and down on a bench, preferably looking miserable - good - do not infect. Person sitting on same bench - posisbly bad, maybe infect a little bit. Person sitting on same bench eating an apple - fairly bad, infect with mild dose. Person sitting on same bench eating crisps, possibly even smiling - bad, bad, bad. Infect with most serious illness ASAP.

The world has gone totally batshit crazy!

@Maxandezra you forgot to Kenyon the person sitting on their lardy arse at home with no intention of moving at all, pulling into two pizzas, a portion of fries a 1.5l bottle of coke, a litre of ice cream and a family bag if doritos is the most virtuous of all, and so should remain healthy forever!

Kenyon=mention. Pulling = piling. If=of

Confession : I use swipe typing too much and don't check before posting enough.

I ended up dreaming about this thread last night!

I was standing by a bench dithering about what to do on it.

I sincerely hope you didn’t sit on it Laiste