Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Dives into pit of despair.

Lemon dives in pit with Lou

it took ages to two lines and now I just feel like I'm waiting for it all to end. I'm trying really hard to be positive but failing

hello ladies, could i join you? i've been looking at the thread title for the past few weeks thinking it just about sums me up.

i have a lovely 14mo DS and we're about to start cycle 7 of TTC DC2. Bored bored bored of it all. We did it every bloody day for a week and a half around when I ov'd last cycle (used OPKs) and still didn't catch.

DH has broken his collarbone so might not manage any SWI this month.

Anyway - would love to join you if you'll have me.

Welcome Bicnod don't let a broken collerbone get in the way of ttc just ask Lou to borrow the turkey baster!

So hitch up your skirt and help yourself to some hooch.

Bicnod welcome. I like the curtseying. Here's the turkey basters. I have a week off before I need it.

Hehe thank you for the welcome. Better not mention the turkey basters to DH just yet, he already thinks I'm crazy.

Although I think you're right Mrs muffin - broken collarbone is no excuse for skipping SWI. Will have stern words.

Hey all, how is everyone? Fairy I hope you are feeling better and have managed to get some answers from the GP.

Lou did you get the sperm results yet? I hope that is not why you are in the pit?

And how are Iced and Bongo?

Lia if you are there, the needles did indeed help me get my FSH and LH levels down. Mine were - FSH 29, LH 23 (ish - this is going back to a year ago so my memory is being stretched a little). After 6 weeks of weekly acupuncture my results were FSH 8.9 and LH 3.2. Bloody amazing! Highly recommend acupuncture, especially combined with the chinese herbal medicine. I've heard of many 'good news' stories with FSH levels much higher than mine that still got the BFP. If you want a really honest uplifting read try 'Inconceivable' by Julia Indichova. It is her story of her infertility problems, huge FSH levels and search for a cure. And her baby of course! Good luck darlin. x

Ooops, meant to say, had 12 week scan! Only the one baby thankfully and all is well. Low risk for downs. I am now officially enjoying this, rather than stressing about it.

Yay to baby Jesus - there is only one otherwise it would have been cramped in there. nice to see you Polly not literally like. I am in the pit as spotting has started so not won a baby this month. Got first SA test and he has 160 million sperms in total though only 8% are normal forms and 60% of them are going anywhere. There are enough I think. We are still waiting for the second test results but doctors haven't got them. Well it only takes one sneaky sperm to get in there and that is it a baby is made. Adi is proof it can happen - bless him - I should put a piccie up as he is very vut [biased mum emoticon]

Had sternish words with TH telling him to do some exercise as its good to tone up a little. Not that he is fat but he might enjoy it too.

Broken collar bone - Biccie (if I can call you that) tell him take some morphine and lie back and think of England.

Cute not vut.

You can indeed call me Biccie, although it makes me feel a bit hungry.

Sorry about the pit of despair Lou my DH had a sperm test just after we got married as he only has one functional bollock (he would kill me if he knew I was sharing this information!) and they said his sperm weren't a very good shape. But DS exists so like you say it only takes one little wriggler going in the right direction, at the right time, with enough determination and pointiness.

Polly congratulations on your BFP it is nice to be sharing a thread with some people who have actually managed to achieve what we're all gunning for.

Anyone know anything about preseed and where to buy it? Is it a gimmick or worth a whirl?

Blardy hell it is sooooo hot here, I'm melting.

Its okay Thelemonone I can see how you are scared but fingers crossed all is well with the mini-muffin.

Biccie I might buy some preseed too. You can get it on ebay or ask thelemonone she used it when she won her two lines. We are still waiting for results of second SA. TH was just happy to have spermies. Sorry to hear MrRichTea (see what I did there!) has only got one ball that works. That is not so great but it only takes one of the darn buggers to win a babbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyy.

I might go with this ebay place for preseed looks like there is a new version of it which is a bit better value!

Right. Preseed purchased - all ready for next month (assuming we're not getting much this month).

He's actually more of a ginger nut.

My rtd has arrived so I too have got some pre seed.

It would appear that a broken collarbone doesn't preclude a bit of SWI-ing so this month isn't a total write off after all ...

...about to enter the dreaded 2ww .

Well done to MrGingerNut that must have been tough for him but he did the job.

MrChocChip that's TH by the way bought me the most gorgeous handbag for our third anniversary. It was leather for third anniversaries. So we had SFF though not on the day itself.

Not told him about the pre seed think I might just sneak it in. Nice.

Fairy are you ok. Long time no hear.

(snatches takes back turkey baster from biccie)

Hmmm. MrGingerNut wasn't too excited by the name 'preseed'. We're not allowed to mention that word ever ever again as apparently it's not very sexy - so might be wise to just sneak it in.

Oh, and don't need the baster anymore anyhoo as have you seen the delightful applicators that come with the preseed? It's all glamour this TTC lark.

Nice one MrChocChip - that's very impressive purchasing - definitely warrants a bit of SFF.

I expect MrGingerNut wouldn't be too impressed by his new nickname either. Pre-Seed is not the best name ever. At least Zestica sounds a bit more exotic. Maybe you could just rename it - Desire or something along those lines.....

Anyways if any of yous still around Pol, lemonone, umbungo, biccie, lia. Anyone !

I went to see the doc yesterday and he has referred me for an ultrasound. He also told me he wasn't going to put me forwards for any more tests as he thinks its cos I am too stressed. I had only just met him. Bastard. Well TH asked what he could do to improve his swimmers so will need to get some vits and persuade him to do some exercise. Might also try to get him to reduce his coke drinking (no not snorting).

Anyway rant over - just needed to get it off my chest.

Hi Lou good news about ultrasound but you should have punched gp when he said the r word! My dh used to drink a lot of energy drinks and he gave them up two months before two lines, so it's probably worth a try giving up the coke.

Been in hospital being rehydrated but got more drugs and (fingers crossed) voming not so much. Got twelve week scan on Tuesday and freaking out a bit, dh nearly got kicked when he said the r word! But he has been great at taking over housework while I sat and had my head in a bucket!

When is the ultrasound and was the second wank test ok ?

Second wank test not that great. But we need to get a hard copy to look. He has a lot of swimmers just low mobility and motility or whatever.

I am hoping they find something in the ultrasound and then they will have to refer me.

You will have to post a piccie of the mini-muffin.

Am just so pissed off at the moment.

2 weeks for an ultrasound so not too bad. Not sure if it matters what time of the month it is. He didn't ask.

Hi Lou - at your stoopid doctor. How dare he throw stress at you as a reason. How the hell does he know whether or not you're stressed? Grrr.

Good about the ultrasound though - what should it show? [ignorant]

Lemonmuffin - poor you I had morning sickness quite badly with DS but not as badly as you. Hope you feel better soon.

AF due (ish - my cycle length varies from 26-28 days) next Wednesday so currently symptom spotting like mad although know that it is highly unlikely as we only managed it a couple of times this month. So likely to be entering 8th cycle TTC. sigh

Appointment is 20th July for ultrasound....