The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

[ChoChoSan]

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

Sorry, I'm probably the last person to be giving opinions... but please god it will be ok for you. I would really try and get a scan (bad acting or not) before wednesday. For the sake of your mental health if nothing else! Poor you. Here have a marshmellow flump.

so, after all that, you could actually be pregnant?! What a rollercoaster, Muse.

muse surely those symptoms must be a sign?

Why doctors so bloody crap!

Roll on Wednesday. Stamp feet, cry shitloads, fake fainting, simply refuse to move til they give you an answer.

It's honestly not the doctors' fault. I am just not behaving the way I should! I'm not going to push for an earlier scan as I figure there's more chance of something showing up in a few days. And my mind is so fucked already that another inconclusive scan would probably finish me off.

What the...this is the most head-spinningly confuckingfusing muddle - but also something's making me feel quite hopeful for you ... is that bad?

I think you should fake whatever it takes right it front of the A&E reception desk so that you get a scan tonight.

No no no. No faking. There was nothing on the scan Friday evening. There's a good chance nothing would show up tonight. By Wednesday, if the HCG doubles again like it should then I'll be over 4000 and SOMETHING should definitely show up.

Waiting will be hard, but better to wait for a more definite result than get a scan every day that shows nothing.

Okay muse it's all gone a bit crazy eh?

There must be a walk in epu. And they don't often tell you,but if you self-refer (ie just fucking turn up) they will see you. Or phone docs/midwifes and say you have weird twinges/lower back pain (in your situation you won't need to lay it on thick I can promise you) and they will refer.

Most epu clinics are in the morning I think....

Also. I don't know if it's right thingto say or not but don't get too carried away with symptoms (not that I think you are or anything.) Just cos the evil truth is that although everyone always takes symptoms as meaning all fine that isn't always the case.

You must be feeling doolally bonkers. You need that scan,I really would push for it tomorrow... I wouldn't normally say that if it was a 'just for the sake of it' thing,but I think you have good reason to NEED to know what the fuck is going on.

You poor bugger. I really hope that it does turn out ok...I guess 6th jan could mean up to...erm...9th jan as swimmers could have been hanging about...

I hope you get some answers. Very soon.

Val day a write off here,all got shit colds so we're gonna eat more of mr gin's cure-all curry. I did however get given a beautiful box of handmade biscuits spelling out 'i love you'. You gotta love a man that says it with biscuits. And curry

muse x post. If you feel you can wait then do what feels right to you,and we will shut the fuck up

Oh the symptoms mean nothing gin, I'm not reading anything into them. I've got rising hormone levels, they'd cause symptoms whether they're rising for good reasons, bad reasons, or just general insanity.

Rationally I don't think this is going to have a happy ending. I just don't see how it can. But at some point it will have an ending.

Thanks gin! I just really don't think I can take another inconclusive scan. I would rather wait. And of course if I do get the merest twinge I will be straight to my nearest A&E.

Ps also totally know what you mean re not wanting another inconclusive scan. They are head-fucking and frustrating and confusing and feel sort of shittily pointless. So you are talking sense mate. The only thing I was think was consultant told me that over 2000 they really should be able to see something...

Yup, am zipping gob on faking front . Hopefully like you say with a bit of wait the scan'll show more ...

Is just hideous for you & wish goodwill alone could make it OK...

Jesus Muser, what a head fuck. The EPU seem to be suitably concerned/confused though so that they now keep testing your blood and bringing you back in rather than send you home to wait and see what happens. Have they ruled out ectopic or is that still a concern? I really hope Wednesday brings a definitive answer for you. In the meantime, am thinking about you lots. x

They haven't ruled anything out Twinkle. If I had any pains at all I'm to go straight to my nearest A&E and not stop to think.

"There's an association of epu website "

thanks for that Muse, there is one at AMH, so have tucked that away in my head, should I ever need it.

So you obv haven't had any pain at all? And no bleeding/spotting since last time? Stupid questions...if you had then I doubt they would've let you out!

You are a complicated lady intcha muse?

Yeah def slightest sign of any pain get yourself in sharpish.

No bleeding, no sharp pains. Thought maybe I was getting period style cramps but I think it's just the way I'm sitting on the sofa as they disappeared today when I actually left the sofa!

Maybe I should go somewhere else tomorrow morning. Hmmm.

St George's muse or King's

muse I would seriously consider it. The possibility that it's ectopic is definitely there (goes without saying that I hope it's not that.) And under those circumstances I would take any pain or cramping pretty seriously.

Am sorry...want to send messages of hope etc and there still could be hope...is just at the mo am more worried about you getting answers. Don't wanna make you feel worse than you do already.

You can have one of my special valentine biscuits. None of you other fuckers are getting one though,they is precious.

Am sitting here in tracky bums,having a sneezing competion with my snotty beloved and watching him play pro evo. Who said romance is dead???

Christ on a bike, Muser! Cannot beeeeliiiieve that they can't work out what's going on Am in awe of your strength in the face of supreme WTF-ness. Can't believe you can wait severa; days for another scan... although I suppose 'no news is good news' works in your favour here in some ways. If you weren't such a classy bird, you could always flog your 'medical mystery tale' to trashy mags and make a fortune (not being crass, just trying to raise a smile)

Pliz to have a moment of self-indulgence, which is truly pathetic in light of Muser's mare? I am passing ridiculous amounts of clots and droid-proper hasn't even started yet. Is really quite disturbing - could it be mmc? Not usually particularly clotty. Think I might not be able to work if the pain is too bad tomorrow, which will be a nightmare as my boss had a meltdown for a ridiculous reason on Friday so is already unfairly pissed off at me over that misunderstanding (and refuses to accept she was in the wrong, despite loads of people pointing it out to her). As it'll be just be me and her, not turning up is a biggie and will not make her more positively disposed towards me. Wankshaft.

Also get my D21 test results back tomorrow or Tues. Hmmmm.

Oh Muser, now really isn't the time you want to be a medical mystery. Hope you can find plenty of things to distract you a bit from thinking about it (like watching men in lycra slide down an ice track? - why would anyone think luge was a good idea?). And fingers crossed for Wednesday bringing answers (or before then if you decide to go and harass them again).

Oh Scorps, sorry you're getting horrible droidage. Could be more than droid, very hard to say. It might tell you if you POAS but do you really want to know? Hope you feel well enough to work tomorrow. I bet your boss has forgotten everything over the weekend.

Have had a chat with MrM and he thinks we should wait until Wednesday. He's worried about another inconclusive scan and he wants to make sure he can come with me as well.

I also think splitting between hospitals could lead to nightmares with records and follow up. I will stick the course. Wednesday isn't so far away, and I do have the whole week off.

don't know what the clotting means, but could you struggle in and then take yourself home, if that would be received better than just calling in sick?

I think that sounds like the right plan, Muser.

scorps lovely I really couldn't tell ya. Could be an early mc,but could just be a 'different' droid..maybe your delicate lady bits are reacting to the smear? Sorry no answers...have a big ol' cuddle tho.

muse good you guys talked it over. And having ended up being split between 2 hospitals cos of being away at Xmas I think you have a good point re sticking with one.

If you were worried/twingy/whatever though is there not an epu at the hosp you are already with? You should be able to get referred to that if you need to.

Am off now,but thinking of you. Hope you n mr m are looking after each other. Xx