The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

[ChoChoSan]

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

Not sure about top tips, apart from keep the faith and keep "on the job".

To recapture this evening's testing activities, I peed on the stick, it came up +ve pretty much straight away, we then left the stick for the reco'd 3mins, then rushed back to see it, both scrambling to the first to get to it. Saw it was +ve, we both smiled, I was shaking, and then we laughed nervously. So we did the second test as I thought I hadn't done it properly and again same results. OH smiled, smooched and said I'd made him the happiest man alive.

Stupid arse keeps smiling to himself, said "well he certainly works" and then proceeded to demonstrate lots of thrusts.

Yay, silver, great news. I would get my norks out to wave them in celebration but they're sore - this is obviously another disadvantage of not being on the pill.

Muser, have some fizzy pig tails to add to the M+S sweet collection. Can't believe how long it's all taking, why can't our biology be simple? Hope you and MrM are caring for each other well.

Okey dokey - will go and see my Dr asap then.

Strange feelings really, one minute happy an dexcited, the next shitting bricks - though Ihear that happens later in pregnancy!

Haha, I love his reaction DiffedSky. Bet he thinks he's the bees knees.

Oh skyPlus it's all awfully nice. I'm going to go to bed on Happy Thoughts.

loving the Skyplus name! Made me chortle.

SkyPlus is inspired. Perhaps your BOC can be called HD.

I have failed to get dressed today and don't think I'm going to accomplish it. I am wallowing in the fucking unfairness of everything. It's not a pretty sight.

Oh muser don't bother your arse with nonsense like getting dressed - it's Saturday ffs, you need no other excuse than that.

Muser love, don't get dressed - get on the sofa and watch the lovely thighs rugby on tv, snuggle up with MrM and eat sweets.

Hey muse just popping in to see ya. Those are very nice jammies...as cunty said there is no reason to feel you should get dressed or do anything at all. Though I would strongly advise eating an entire tub of ice cream. And more cake.

Thinking of you mate.

I am watching Team America. That should work. MrM is out sadly. So it's just me, the cats and the cyst twins.

muser wish I had the ability to know exactly the right words to say.

Thanks SkyPlus. Urgh to banoffee pie though. Bananas are evil!

Anyway. I feel I'm making this thread too sad. Someone distract us all with tales of menkulness!

I hate bananas too.

MrM commented on my restraint both last night (only one small glass of wine) and this morning (no coffee refill); I told him (half in jest, full in hope) "maybe I am pregnant." And he is getting worse at 2Woofling, wanting to know when we will know, etc etc. Not helping!

When can you test Medee?

muser sorry about the 'nana's, goes to show that I am one of those biatches who manages to make a sitution worse rather than better. Big Balls.

Banoffee Pie is good for foodfights, good and squishy

splat!

bananas are indeed evil, am wondering whether absinthe would make them better or worse....

As for 2WOOFLing, I was wondering the other day whether I could claim complete lack of appetite as a symptom, but it's now back. Boobs are less sore than this point last month, not sure whether that's good or bad....

Absinthe would make you forget the taste of the banana's....... Simples.

OckClockDicoryDock let's hope it is a symptom. My rack is not sore or nowt. I was expecting them to be uncomfortable but nothing. Usually I do get a bit of boobage ache but the last few months, they haven't so much has tingled, let alone rattled and rolled. So who knows.

Muser, so sorry to hear you are low, but am confuzzled - are you meant to get out of your nightclothes at the weekend? Why has no-one told me this before? If you need a good wallow in the Pit of Despair, we have the full range of 80s teen movies available. V proud of you' you're being v strong (even if you might not think it). Good luck for tomorrow

OMG PONIEZZZ!!1!!11111111111!!! This truly is my spiritual home - I too despite bananas! In fact, just thinking about them is making me grimace and feel a bit sick. Never met anyone else who hates them!

You know what else I hate? Spotting I have never got to more than 9 DPO before I start spotting as the countdown to my droid. Think my blood results will show v low progesterone. Am also worried this might indicate the peri-nightmarepause. I have lost all ability to think rationally about things anymore. Anyway, feel like a right twat for waffling on about this shite, when poor old Muser is going through such buggeration.

And HiHoSilverLining - well done!

God, please don't let my endless wallowing stop anyone else from venting. TTC is shit for everyone in different ways, nobody gets the monopoly on wallowing.

So vent away Scorps, feel free to join me in the Pit, currently showing Pretty in Pink. Followed by Clueless (90s teen movie, but bloody brilliant).

Now, as my last bit of wallowing for today, can I do the icing on this particular cake of barreness? The notes they gave me have my 'estimated due date' on them. Even though there's nothing in me. It is 3 days before our wedding anniversary. Thank you fate for that particular kick in the teeth.

Thoughtless fricking knobs.

muser my professional opinion is that Ferris Bueller's Day Off works wonders when feeling down in the dumps. Trust me, it does. To double the effects, trough nutella filled pancakes. YUM,

Bring on the Winter Olympics. Woot

moooooooooos I watch back-to-back Will & Grace under such circumstances. and Legally Blonde. Three times. In an eggy nightie. Here's a boyish punch to the shoulder and a slice of Nigella's Malteser cake with special Horlicks icing.

to the bollocksing thoughtless NHS.