Facebook status updates you wish you could write. XXXX...

[Tigresswoods]

is fed up with seeing babies everywhere

Lucieloo will mainly be shagging for the next fortnight

bump

I don't give a rat's ass what little Johnny said this afternoon. He's a horrible child! And moreover stop sending me shite which implies that if I don't copy and paste that status update it means I don't care about cancer/child abuse/our "boys" in Afghanistan (delete as appropriate)

stuffed wishes her husband would just get over himself....putting it in that hole won't get this baby made!!!!!!

To close friend: Please please stop bragging about your jimmy choos/orla keily dress/mulberry bag purchases on your status updates or about the z list celebrities you meet as part of your job or about the fabulously expensive present your latest shag just bought you, no I'm not jealous but you're making yourself look like a dick and a media whore.

Pickle is happy that her friend is pregnant, but wishes she wouldn't text her with EVERY little detail of her morning sickness/cramp/food aversions/cravings.

Corinne spends far to much time on Mums net when i should be seeing to my husband!!

is fed up with always being smiley and professional after years of ttc with zero success while colleagues fall apart publicly over small items such as parking tickets etc. and wishes they would realise how lucky they are!

shelly feels like the only person in this relationship who gives a shit about trying to conceive ,,

shelly is getting fed up of the conversation that starts with "do you think you will have anymore children?"

Spends more time googling my phantom syptoms than I do working, 12 hours from ovulation to the day af arrives!

'not long until the ivf'

Actually - what I really want to say is 'Evrytime someone announces their pregnancy on facebook, a little piece of me dies. Please, if you are pregnant - let me know in an email'

I usually just write what I want - althou then forget that people actually read it! lol - ie see my family members who then say - you ok?!? who pissed you off. lol.

Would really really love to say tho - to the idiot man who thought h was in love with me last year - yeah didn't really work did it when you were fucking someone else within two weeks of me breaking it off!

Louja Is fed up of not being pregnant and seeing all her friends get pregnant and having babies is really not helping. Also, she is not sure whether having needles stuck in her is going to make the blindest bit of difference.

Kara is fed up of no one believing that she will not have anymore children and does not want to hear, don't worry it will happen. Because I do worry and how the fuck do you know it will???
Kara is fed up of having to smile with joy when people announce their pregnancies, inside I am collapsing.

..is fed up of seeing horrible mothers in town who clearly don't deserve their children, and wonders why they get one and I'm still trying.

..is worried because when I try to imagine being pregnant, I really can't picture it even though I want it more than anything in the world.

..is annoyed that there was no sex today! DP, give me your sperm!

Found this a few pages down and it's given me a laugh.

...has all your scan photos and 27 identical baby pictures (they all look like Winston Churchill anyway) added to my adblock filter on firefox so I can't see 'em!
...is having a crap day post-miscarriage today

emptyshell such a good idea!

...is really pissed off about the 13 years of taking the pill and sufering migranes thanks to it, just to find out that a month, or 7, would not have mattered...

...is very jealous of the drug addict from the temp. accomodation down the road who has a beatiful bump...

...has to stop being jealous.

...would really like not to argue so there would be more sex.

...would like to be less tired so there would be less arguments.

xxx would really like all of her friends to stop getting pg / having babies! and wishing that they would shut up complaining that they're tired all the time and actually understand how much others would LOVE to be pg!!

...is sad because she doesn't have a very good feeling about this month.

Is pissed off the spotting has started again! When will it happen?????

is starting to get her hopes up and really really should stop before she is disappointed!

is annoyed by the fact that all her friends get pregnant on their first attempts, and she spends months avoiding all the things she loves and still does not get pregnant. Life is unfair.

Really flipping appreciates the SECOND barrage of fricken 3D scan pictures you've posted this week that have just sent her off into a 30 minute sobbing fit!

(Seriously this baby's more photographed than Kerry flaming Katona and it's not even been born yet)