TTC number 3 aged 42

[FiB83]

Hi

Not really sure what I'm looking for here but if nothing else I'll use this as a diary of my feelings etc. I joined a chat years ago for my first pregnancy and am still friends with some of those lovely ladies so hoping to find some people who are on their TTC journey and we can share experiences l.

As the title suggests I'm 42, I have two beautiful children aged 7 and 9, we decided to try for another baby a year or so again, I needed to lose some weight so did that although I'm still overweight according to my BMI but you know how it is... I'm fairly average at a size 14-16. I still have very regular cycles and don't believe I'm anywhere near the menopause yet....

Anyways, I'm 9dpo I think, I don't do opk or anything like that, tried one month but didn't enjoy feeling obsessed over it and it didn't work anyway..I feel I know my body quite well and am aware of the signs of when I'm ovulating if I am. With our first child it took a good 2 years with one chemical pregnancy in that time before.ewe actually got our baby. With our second child...well we thought about trying and then I was pregnant... Amazing how that happens isn't it!?

So here I am, 9dpo and with virtually no discharge at all. 2 days ago I had a huge amount of white cm that was abit stretchy. I've had a headache on and off and been soooo unbelievably emotional. This isn't normal for me but we are going through quite a bit with our youngest and other normal life events so may be that I suppose. I've had sore breasts and I swear they are bigger if that is even possible!.maybe just very slight cramps over the past couple of days but that maybe only.when I'm thinking about it...

Anyone else at this stage and fancy a buddy to compare notes? I'd love to chat.

@TheFutureIs that’s also a hard situation to be in esp around ur due date, I’d say ur relieved your through that party and on the other side. I found firsts really hard after I lost the triplets, it’s actually their 4th anniversary in a few days, I can’t believe that time has passed.

@Sa11yCinnamon same here on a few ppl with kids same age as my lo announcing second pregnancies, I do find I struggle with this, I just wish I was in the same boat.

im 8dpo today and lots of twinges/stiffness and soreness around lower back tummy, esp on my left side. I also have lots of creamy lotion like cm that I’ve never noticed at this stage before, I think that just means progesterone is high but it’s deff different to other cycles so my head is running wild😂
off for a run to distract myself.

how is everyone else?

Can I join also. Age 41, thinking about a third. I have had drier cm this month also, which is weird for me.

@DmcinTI remember you from the board previously! I think we got pregnant at the same time

@DmcinTgot similar symptoms, hope it’s both our months!

Fingers crossed for you @DmcinT and @TheFutureIs!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

I’m 2DPO, last month AF started 5DPO so I’m just a bit anxious hoping that doesn’t happen again.

Welcome! We are almost the same age! Are you just thinking of TTC now or have you been not preventing etc.

I'm having a right nightmare atm.wkth my eldest daughter she is so stubborn and wants to control everything in the mornings!

Nothing really to report today I am still totally dry cm and have been feeling ahcey and tired but that is possibly due to all the stress over the past few days. I've also got a bit of heartburn which is new for me

Hoping AF stays away for you this month!

We are the same age @TheFutureIs. I’m sorry for the early losses, I’m hoping this month is both of our months.

@FiB83I had an accidental pregnancy and early miscarriage, and now not sure. Haven’t prevented this month, so I guess this would be our first month. Not sure if my partners fully on board, or even if I am, it feels madly busy some days already. I’ve got a just two year old and a just four year old. I’d love three though, but keep going back and forth with whether we can manage or how tough it might be.

How did you decide on a third?

@january1244 I thought we were done and then hubby said he wanted another one. I think he'd like a son but he knows full well we won't get to choose..life is very busy right now with 9&7 year old girls but I just thought well we only live once and I love having a baby to look after. The night feeds and everything was just joy for me.

Newborns are gorgeous! I guess it’s the juggle of three different sports and activities, three sets of parties and three sets of play dates. Plus another three/four years of childcare fees.

i know I’m sounding very pessimistic, I’m not, it’s maybe just feeling real given there’s a (very slim) chance it could happen this month 😬

We have to consider these things really. I'm out of the phase of babies and free childcare anyway but I totally understand what you are saying. Tbh I would love to have a year off and then hopefully work part time again as I did with my girls..I'm really hoping this month is it for us but scared to hope

We started trying for a 3rd when I was 41, nearly 42. Had great fertility in my later thirties, no miscarriages, pregnant on first cycle with first and second cycle with the second (I was 38 when he was born). I think this made me complacent. I had a few chemical pregnancies when I was 42, but assumed that this was to be expected given my age and that we just had to keep trying for the right egg.

This turned out to be a huge mistake. Had three more chemical pregnancies at 43, and then a longer pregnancy (which I of course assumed was the one) just after I turned 44. But that ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks. Then considered IVF, but the chances at 44 are absolutely woeful with your own eggs and we didn’t feel we could afford it financially or emotionally.

At 42, IVF is much more likely to be successful. If you really want a third child, I would cut to that asap.

I will add that, in retrospect, I’m actually glad that we didn’t have a third! My maternal instincts seem to have ebbed with perimenopause and I’m finding having pre-teens much harder and more exhausting than I imagined. Career has also taken off in some exciting ways, and I am now very well known in my field. The thought of having a child still at nursery, feeling as shit as I feel a lot of the time, and having missed out on a big promotion and a more interesting job makes me feel weak at the knees. But, if it had worked out as I wanted it to, I’m sure I would feel very differently!

@namezchangezthanks for sharing so honestly. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all of those losses. And thanks for being honest about the pre teen stage. I think that’s the problem, you never know how you’ll feel in five years or ten years etc. I LOVE the baby stage. Pre teens and teens might be harder in different ways.

@january1244 ah no way, yes I have a just turned 2 yo there in Feb also, did u change ur handle or was it always this? I see a few from our previous thread are pregnant atm.

weighing up the cost of it all esp with childcare is so important, we’ve been so lucky to have both grandparents minding our lo so far but if new bat come along I think it will be a crèche for some of the days as parents are getting older and I feel it’s a lot to ask. So deff a big consideration.

well girls I am 9 dpo and still creamy cm but most interesting is my rhr pattern, usually (in not pregnant cycle) my rhr starts to drop to baseline (50-52bpm) around now but it has shot up to 64 (2nd rise seen in pregnant cycles around 9-10 dpo)
I can’t lie I’m running away with myself now.
rhr usually sees a small dip 2-3 bpm around implantation which could be the Fri/Sat dip.

we will see, I’m trying to hold out to Friday to test!

@DmcinT someone I know's Garmin actually told her she was pregnant. She got a notification asking if she wanted to start tracking her pregnancy, or words to that effect. So keep an eye on it!

@Sa11yCinnamon that is crazy, how many dpo was she?
I did have this pattern with my last pregnancy so 🤞🏽🤞🏽
i wasn’t tracking RHR with my first pregnancy so not sure but it deff looks promising.
im just afraid im gona be so disappointed if not🫣 hopes are v high seeing that pattern

@DmcinT I don't know how many DPO but she hadn't tested yet so I'm assuming it was pretty early.

I'd be the exact same as you, got my fingers crossed for you!

@DmcinTyes I did change it, I completely forgot I did sorry! Thats interesting about your resting heart rate! I didn’t know about using that to track things. 🤞 for you this month! My period is due in four days. I remember you because we joined the Jan/Feb babies board and had tested on the same day and were the same dpo also/similar due date. That’s so weird our cycles are aligned again

@january1244 that’s so funny here we are again at the exact same point together 😅 hopefully that’s a sign 🤞🏽

if u wear a garmin or any of those type watches it records ur rhr so u can check it at any stage, it’s a handy one to track because u don’t have to actually do anything to track it. I’ve been keeping an eye on mine all day and heart rate is way up. Althou I keep telling myself it could be anything.. maybe I’m getting sick or something else. Just so afraid to get hopes up!
I’m really trying to hold out to Friday for testing so I’m not questioning if there’s a line or not.

when is everyone else around the same dpo planning to test?

I’m probably going to test tomorrow….. 9dpo but it’s my day off
I’ll try to hold off after that until I’m due which is early next week

I know! Both breastfed, you think that would throw our cycles off each others, so funny. Hope it is good luck.

Good luck for anyone testing! I think I’ll just wait for my period to arrive or not. I don’t have a watch that does that

Morning all, how is everyone doing? Im 9 dpo I think and I caved and tested bfn this morning. Feeling so cramp though and getting creamy/watery cm.

@FiB83 how u feeling about bfn this morning, it’s so early but I know u still hold a wee bit of hope you’ll catch it early.

i was so so tempted this morning also but somehow managed to resist, I think I’ll deff test tomorrow, I’ll be either 10 or 11 dpo so feel like it should deff show by that stage. My RHR is up again today from yesterday so that’s promising but could be giving me a lot of false hope too.

anyone else testing today/tomorrow

I caved and tested today, also 9dpo and nothing. But I know in reality it is too early to be testing. Feeling “off” with crampy stomach. Also sense of smell is off the charts. Trying not to read too much into it

Just caught up on the thread. @FiB83you're a midwife! That must be tough when you’re trying, as you can’t really escape seeing pregnancy and being around it- must keep it on your mind.

@BurningOuttcongrats!! Brilliant news.

@DmcinTre the breastfeeding, apparently it can affect fertility. The prolactin can suppress the estrogen and progesterone, even if your period is regular it can affect ovulation and the thickness of the lining for implantation. I looked into it with my 2nd as I was still breastfeeding my first when I was thinking about having another. My period had been back since my first was 3-4 months. We didn’t prevent for a few months. After I stopped breastfeeding I was pregnant the next month. Some people are less affected by the hormones, but I think I was affected by them