Still trying for third baby - thread 2!

[Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow]

@AnaReis @MrsPepper82 @AFeastforCrows @MacNut @WhattheEll @TT82 @Suchardchoccy

Please tag others I’ve blatantly forgotten! And welcome to the new thread!

Honestly I wasn’t tracking anything and had such a mental time at work I can’t remember any of the days. We did have unprotected sex using the withdrawal method but pretty sure it wasn’t at a fertile time. Plus I have no symptoms at all (even AF ones) which is not like me at all.

I think it’s just been delayed because of all the lack of sleep and stress. If it goes on another few days though I might be in the territory of not having to skip the next cycle as the DD would be early sept instead of end of Aug 🤣.

It’s annoying though because I was supposed to be having blood tests on day 3 of my cycle, and can’t schedule follow up until I get those back!

7dpo I think. I got the positive ovulation test last week Tue. But the day before was the first day I started using that Clearblue pink version ovulation machine...I think I read that the first time you use it, it will always show negative (even if there is a surge). So it's possible I might have ovulated from Mon. Didn't dtd that day but we did on the Sun.

I tried a First Reponse Rapid test before but it came out negative. Might be too early. Will try again in a couple of days. God I've spent so much money on pregnancy and ovulation tests 🙈🙈🙈

Sorry I find it hard to remember people to tag when I'm using the app but thanks for all the wise words re period!! I bleed for about 7 days and then can often still have spotting/very light bleed up to day 10. I've literally always been like this and I've had ultrasound scans in the past etc and nothing going on, just my usual annoying long, heavy periods. I don't do OPKs or anything, I just fertility friend as a rough guide. My cycles I'm not sure, before I last went on the combined pill they were 27-28 days each time. But since I've come off it ive only tracked two and they've been 26 and 27 days. When I was ttc DC1 like 6yrs ago my cycles were about 23-24 days long, they've gotten a bit longer as I've aged interestingly.

I think we will try and get on with it as soon as the bleeding has stopped...I think I'm just going to let it be regarding DSis wedding, I would feel terrible if I end up missing it but tbh she would never think twice about doing it to me so...and I want to leave one of my jobs and I can't now as I want my mat pay, so the sooner I get pregnant the better in that regard...

That's interesting, my cycles got shorter with age lol I used to have 28 to 31/33 day cycles when I was in my 30s and now at 41 they're 26 day in average.
And regarding your work yeah don't to like I did with my 1st, I got pregnant too soon so only got maternity allowance instead of mat pay 🙄

I haven't gone into the OPK thing... I can usually tell I'm fertile by the amount of EWFM I have, so I've never bothered... To be honest this TTC journey is taking much longer than I expected, so I decided just to ignore all monitoring because it was stressing me out. I'm trying to enjoy DTD and have fun and what happens, happens 🤷🏻‍♀️
The best way of pinpointing ovulation for me is measuring BBT. It's a bit of a faf and with my toddler waking me up at random times in the morning it gets a bit challenging, but I could see exactly when I had ovulated.

I think I have been stressing far too much about ttc and this had also made my husband feel stressed. So if I'm not pregnant this month then next month I will try and be more relaxed...I will still check ovulation with tests but I won't tell my husband.

I caved and did a pregnancy test today but it came out negative. Probably better to wait till my periods are due and test around then...6 days left.

My long waited fertility appointment was today and caused more worries than have any peace of mind 😒maybe I am demanding but she only gave some question marks - some liquid in right ovary - corpus luteum? Lining a bit thin maybe for the end on cycle result. A bit uneven lining, but may be normal for 35+ and birth given woman. Asked also what can I do to improve but only answer was that she only comments after DH results are also reviewed and gave new appointment after Christmas.
I feel out of energy and hope. And I can go and give some more analysis but what I have done were commented as OK. But she needs fresh data when I have normal TSH levels.
But no encouragement, nothing to work on my lining :( She only really focused on what can be wrong. That place is actually named infertility treatment centre, not fertility centre and I really felt that difference 😔

So sorry for these unanswered questions. 💜 it's not fair that you now have to wait again for more answers RE your DH, but these things are sent to test us. I hope you're ok.

@Rose38 I also do OPK testing in secret sometimes 🤫 it takes pressure off him and I NEED to know because my EWCM is several times a month sometimes.

@Rose38 I never tell DH about any testing I do - don’t see the point as it’s only going to potentially stress him out!

AF arrived today - hooray!

Means that if I conceived this cycle the DD would be 29 August. In both my previous pregnancies I’ve been moved forward about 5 days from scans but then been “10 days” overdue (ie 5 days overdue based on my own calculations), but I think it’s too tight so will skip this month again.

@MrsPepper82 sorry you don’t feel more positive but it sounds like actually all went well overall?

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow great news! We are almost on same cycle then this month. My CD 1 should be tomorrow.
No testing at all this time- was not even tempted. Got my share last time.

@WhatTheEll and also hugs to you ladies. It did go well, as no showstoppers were actually found but there are some doubts in the air. It can very well be very small but since she did not comment possible damage or even possibility numbers those findings being an issue or not (maybe for her it was clear that nothing too serious to even worry) but I as unaware person really needed guidance.
Now I am still on my own googling how to create best possible lining 😛

I know I will soon get past this sadness and you can imagine how much I don’t want to visit that place anymore 🤞

I temp as secretly as possible and also only have showed static smiley’s. But usually there is no pressure as we dtd before that already and I just hint that timing went well.

Knowing about next cycle results is closely before Christmas. I am not sure anymore how I feel about it 🎄🌟🎯‼️

@AnaReis yep, I can't leave my job or change jobs now because of the mat pay implications. Otherwise I'd be definitely looking for something else now, really fed up of my job due to senior management which is a shame as my team are lovely and it's a nice job albeit low paid.

All the testing talk is way over my head ladies!

Finally had my rheumatology appointment today which was not what I expected, they didn't want to do any more investigations and said they don't think I have anything rheumatological. Which should be a comfort but is not when I've been struggling so much with my health and they have suggested it is mental health or fibromyalgia (which was insinuated to have been caused by poor mental health). I feel really sad tbh and my DH, who is a HCP but admittedly not a rheumatologist, is very angry. Upside is he's now got time off work to come to my other specialist rheumatology appointment next week so he can help advocate for me there. I just don't feel reassured as we all know how often young women go and are dismissed and told it's in our heads and later down the line it turns out not to be!

@WeightoftheWorld sorry to hear this. I don’t know anything about these conditions but is it worth getting a second opinion? Assume you’ve had full bloods etc to check if there is anything else going on?

I just had my blood tests to check my thyroid function (annual one as I have hashimotos), plus iron, vitamin D levels and hormones. I have a follow up with my private dr next week so hopefully will have my results by then.

Feeling a little deflated/outraged because my male colleague yesterday started spouting off about risks to babies born when the mum is over 35 and how it’s selfish to have a baby past that age. Of course it’s total bullshit but I was so pissed off I couldn’t get into it with him (also because I don’t want him to think I’m planning another!). He is 31 but his girlfriend is 25 and he basically seems to live like a student so is totally clueless. I know I should dismiss it but I’ve been thinking about it ever since. The way he was talking he was clearly assuming I was way over the hill. I am 36!

😮😮😣😣 bloody hell. What a prick! I would be offended and pissed off too. Some, not all men, have these views and they haven't clue! I hope you're ok xx

So sorry you've been mucked about with rheumatology. I'm glad you've got your husband championing you 💜 I hope you're ok xx

@WhatTheEll thanks - I know it’s all total crap but it’s so annoying just to realise that’s what some people think.

It was hard to fight with him about it without getting really detailed (he seemed to be mixing up Down’s syndrome risk with fertility decline for one thing because he was saying 35 was some big milestone). we all know that’s outdated crap but I guess at a high level it’s true that generally risks increase with age so I couldn’t properly contradict him without looking up stats.

Where I’m from in Ireland most people have their kids in their early 20s, but when I did NCT in London with DC1 I was 30 and the next youngest couple were 38 with all the others 40+ so I think I have a skewed view of it both ways. This guy is a Londoner though. And presumably none of his friends have kids yet so I don’t know whether he thinks they’re all going to have to remain childless unless they have one in the next couple of years?!

Thanks @WhatTheEll and @Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow . Just feel so deflated more than anything, I've been struggling with various symptoms for over 12 months now with it getting worse over time. It just feels all so hopeless now. 😟I feel like I just want a few days in bed to cry but obviously I can't as I have my little ones to care for - but that's a good thing anyway, not that wallowing would make anything better.

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow I have had absolutely loads of investigations bloods etc over the past year and all of them have come back negative so nobody knows what is going on. However I assumed rheumatology would repeat the rheumatological blood tests as I haven't had those ones done for almost 12 months now and my symptoms have got a lot worse in that time. But they refused to do them basically, I did ask them. Anyway, ignore that silly colleague of yours! What a stupid thing to say, he clearly doesn't know what he's talking about anyway. Just sounds like a misogynist looking to pick a fight.

Fertility Friend reckons I'm in my fertile window so now DH and are going to try our best to get to it every other day for the next week or so!

I've put a request through to my GP surgery asking for bloods to check for vit D and iron levels. I feel like a pain as I'm constantly there what with everything else going on. But I've had both deficiencies at various points within the last two years, I feel absolutely exhausted all the time, and have a few risk factors relating to them. I've done some reading and apparently both are linked to reduced fertility so I want to nip them in the bud ASAP if there's any issues.

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow Omg what a low EQ guy. I am so positively surprised how med stuff here is open and not a single eye roll when I go around and need attention in my ttc matters.

Another great thing here is maternity pay - it is paid for 18 months by government and social tax based - so even if you change job you won’t lose anything. And it is 100% of your average ( calculated based on time before you got pregnant). Fathers can also use it and additionally also child support is paid.

My AF is late 😔I am inpatient and would love to move on with maca and cohosh’s to support lining growth but must wait a bit. @WeightoftheWorld I read your worry and seems it is still so much on our own shoulders to seek every detail and ask and search. No such place where one could get complete 360 view on ttc topics.

My bbt and rhr are back on the rise for third day. Only slightly, but enough to keep me worried. So decided to be strong and take a test. My intuition is correct- not even 1% doubts. Totally blank test screen.

@MrsPepper82 I know this is going back a bit but you asked about delayed ovulation after a chemical I think? Well interestingly, my chemical was beginning of Sept I think, and since then I ovulated around CD18-21. Quite late in my opinion. I'm now on CD12 and it looks as though my OPKS are getting quite dark 👌🏻👍🏻 so my conclusion is yes, chemical can delay ovulation for up to 2 cycles post. X

@WhatTheEll great news about darkening lines!! And I found out that not only O was delayed for me for a few days but also luteal phase was 2 days longer, so when I use to have 29day cycles then this time it was 33. This morning also BBT dropped to pre O number.
I already feel ok again and ready for a new try. Best thing is that it’s going to be very busy 2ww as I have many distractions- parties and stuff almost every day 😄
And when @AnaReis told her cycle getting shorter by age mine is the opposite. While TCC nr 1 it was 27 day, nr2 28 and now 29 :)

Oh that is interesting. I'm glad you're back on track and ready to go again 😃
Good to have all those distractions during 2WW 👌🏻
My cycles have pretty much been the same pre and post kids. Roughly 28 days give or take. Only time it was 34 days was with the chemical

Hi all hope everyone is doing ok and fw is going well @WeightoftheWorld!

I got my private blood test results back and interestingly all my autoimmune stuff seems to have calmed down except for 1 result - will be interesting to see what the doctor says but if it is nearly all in the normal range then do I even need all the steroids etc I was on before? Would be mad if things had actually improved from a fertility perspective.

My AMH also came back within the normal range which was a relief. My GP did my hormone and thyroid function tests plus iron profile so still waiting for those.

on the downside had a major argument with DH at the weekend and things between us are at an all time low so really not the time to be ttc!

Fantastic news about your test results so far! 🥳 really good to hear.
So sorry to hear about your fight. I hope you're ok?
My DH has food poisoning so also not a great time to be TTC 🙃

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow So good news and not so great regarding DH :(
I have had my share of lows in our 22+ years of together but I noticed that after deciding to TTC we tend to be more cooperative and even argue shorter and less.
i hold myself back for sure 😄

@WhatTheEll 😅sorry for laughing but it’s so annoying timing and seems like a bad comedy.

My last scan doc said my lining being a little thin and uneven- that was a surprise as during August I had already scan around same time and all was OK so I was confused.
Now I’m wondering if my CP affected this as this period has also clots in it - something I don’t have normally- those are darkest black, my flow was also super short last time so seems it didn’t cleanse fully.

Thanks guys. The argument was one that we’ve had a few times recently - essentially DH complaining that im
not all sunshine and rainbows when the reality is I am utterly worn out doing an incredibly stressful job (I earn 8x what he does) and 90% of the household stuff too. It’s really not the best time to be adding to the stress by introducing a baby!

But I also think we just need to introduce a fair redistribution of labour.

I got my other bloods back today and all
hormones were looking good and normal. My TSH was 4.11 which is technically normal but from past experience I know it needs to be under 2 for me to conceive and feel good so going to up my dose.

@WhatTheEll hope your DH makes a very speedy recovery!
@MrsPepper82 im sure your lining is fine! Where are you in your cycle now?

I’m fresh as a daisy CD3 over here and flow is really low side compared to my normal.
My TSH 4,86 was commented by my doctor that it could very well be the reason for pregnancy not developing and I got higher dosage.
Now for the first time in ttc#3 I’m not post CP and TSH is optimal.
@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow that is a lot of responsibility on your shoulders- have you taken cortisol level check?
mine was in optimal level- I try to balance tension with active walks, brainwave music, IR sauna (but not in luteal phase) and now also in bubble bath. I love my job and for me it is just intense but not irritating. My DH hates his job and for him there is little that he does to relieve his stress so worried abut his analysis results. He has doctor’s orders to go and take semen analysis but he’s not keen on doing that. I smell argument and won’t bring it up before fertile window is closed 😝