June TWFN friends 🌸💕

[A95x]

Hello ladies carry on thread
@dabs9
@gcs34
@LeopardLover
@Bubblesandtroubles
{mention:DuchessofSuffolk}@Sealover123

It's so hard not to overanalyse everything isn't it.
I just feel 16m is so close to 15 lol. But you're right, there has to be a cut off where it's considered normal 🤷‍♀️

Oh I'm pumping him full of vitamins!!! And he's always been quite active. Plays football and rugby multiple times a week plus gym. Unsure why he married me as I'm absolutely not like that lol. The caffeine I reckon needs work but he says he's reduced while at work so I have to believe that. X

I only remember because my husband was so hung up on them that he was like 'I'm above average' I was like alright dick head, meanwhile broken me over here can't even pop an egg out ya knob! 😂Motility I think above 40% is good. I don't know if you have the NHS App, but the results are in there if you have. Why are they making you wait? I don't understand? I thought after a year of trying they start investigating and getting everything set up?

Oh I know I just sniggered back at her while my husband was like 'yeah yeah yeah that's fine'. I was like STOP BEING A MELT! As @Annapolis35 said, they turn their complete sperm over every 3 months, and I know a friend who put her husband on a specific diet and it made a huge difference! I know the foods recommended for men are:

• Beef
• Liver (vom) that's for folate and B12 I think?
• Omega 3, so oily fish, but she just made him have o3 supplements
• Brazil nuts and walnuts
• Vitamin C foods
• leafy veg and fruit

And apaz these affect it

• processed foods
• Fried food
• Soy (I couldn't believe this one but that is one of the worst!!)
• Alcohol (soz Mr. Dabs)

And i'm sure a bunch of other things but they were the ones I remember.

@GCS34 thanks for that list! He's on loads of vitamins but I'm gonna get him on the cleanest healthiest diet known to man lol!

Omg men are so hilarious.. they love it when their dick and balls score high for them 😂
We don't have the app, unsure if it's something we'll get when start treatment.

So I also thought it was treatment after a year,. But turns out it's investigations after a year and they then make you wait 2 years until IVF referral.. then it's often a 6 month wait from there. So at least 2.5 years before starting IVF if you're 35 and under. I'm 32. X

Just googled this (ngl, well proud of my memory when looking at this) link below.

Haha when you tell him no beer and no curry or caffeine, he'll start questioning if he even wants a baby! 😂I know! When I told my OH about the results from the ovulation tests I had, he was like 'my balls work'! 😣Men! I meant the standard NHS App that everyone gets. You just download it and ask your GP for a code and it pulls through all your details from your NHS record! Literally everything - has when I had my MMR jabs, polio etc as a kid!

That's BS! We started investigations in April last year, and today (literally had a call an hour ago) from our fertility clinic saying they had our IVF Funding referral sat with them ready for when we want to use it! Don't let them fob you off girl xxx

https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/health-and-wellness-articles/dont-make-the-mistake-of-letting-a-diet-kill-sperm#:~:text=A%20study%20of%20250%20men,ate%20less%20of%20these%20foods.)

@GCS34 thanks so much for that link. Have skimmed it and looks v interesting so I'm gonna have a proper read later. The cheese consumption is gonna be an issue tho! 😂

Genuinely have never heard of this NHS app. I'm wondering if it's not a thing in Scotland lol.
Or if I'm just oblivious.
Oh god, these loving husbands can be quite insensitive sometimes, I'm sure without realising it lol. God love them 😂

When was it that you first started ttc? So crazy how it can vary so much place to place. I'm so happy for you that you have the IVF funding waiting for you to give the go ahead! When do you think you'll start if you haven't been knocked up? Lol xx

@dabs9 @GCS34 There is no nhs app in Scotland! I used to work in health research and was told by clinicians that Scotland’s IT for nhs is about 10 years behind England? Mad if so. Also they are completely different systems! I lived in england briefly last year and moved back, and my GP has no access to any of my health records. Apparently they’re sitting in some warehouse and it can take YEARS to transfer. It’s utter stupidity.

My husband was also pleased about his manhood haha. But then I do get it, I’d sort of internalized everything too and he had started to blame the miscarriage on himself, which was obviously not the case.

also yes, I think even for over 35s it’s 2 years TTC then IVF referral. Definitely in for the long haul with the nhs treatment.

@GCS34 Fantastic news about ivf funding too. Do you think you may take it up soon? Or try the ovulation induction for a bit longer? Maybe the ivf rules are different in Scotland xxx

@Annapolis35 it's absolute madness isn't it that they're completely different systems! You'd think they could at least send info without it being an issue.

There's so much guilt with infertility from both parties. In reality it's a game of luck.. blame and fault doesn't come in to it.
My husband tells me it's all his fault we're struggling. I try to reassure him it's not but I think once you get something in your head it's hard to remove it.
The waiting is unbearable.

However... a tiktok filter has told me I'll be pregnant in 2024/2025&2026. Sooooo maybe you should all try it and we'll all be in it together lol.

Ah! That would explain why you don't know wha i'm talkin about @dabs9 😂Christ 10 years behind? The NHS are dated here enough, so you must be still working off pen and paper 😅That's mad they have no access!!

Bless him. Did you ever find out what caused the misscarriage? And have you had fertility assessments did you say?

@dabs9 Yeah he was like WOOHOO!! As his SC was 87million which he now thinks is like the best in the world. I told him it's what I feed him so actually i'm the one that needs praise 😆

TTC since we got married Sept 2021. We never even made it past the first month as I never had a period, and it go to 6 months and I said to my husband that something isn't right here. We then started getting scans and what not, to find out I had PCOS that the pill had masked. Well, I really don't want to go down the IVF route if I can avoid it, but it depends what happens. We said we'll go 2 more (successful) rounds and reassess end of July and take it from there. Then that will be D day on when we cut our losess and go to IVF xx

That's so sad but so true that we all take on the blame when it's something that is a challenge to one person. I said to my husband when we found out we're not able to conceive naturally that I wouldn't mind if he wanted to leave me. like I can't believe I thought that but he was like jesus G no way! We're a team and we'll figure it out.

But yeah it literally is. Theirs estimated 17% of people in the UK who need treatment, and the worst thing is, only 2% actually have treatment due to the cost! How awful is that? I feel so fortunate that we can self fund, but obviously not forever, but it is just so sad for all those people who don't have a family due to the wealth divide. Really not fair. Have you heard about 'knackered knackers'? He is a man who has literally 0 sperm, not even low. But he's been raising awareness for it all and he's amazing. He's on a podcaste from BFN and honestly it's amazing the episode. I listened last night in the gym and it was so so good! Recommend it xxx

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YkrUrRFwi547tovW6rRDd?si=0cbe7c47f451479a

@dabs9 Absolutely there’s so much blame. I’m sorry your husband feels that way too, mine has said the same thing. And you’re right, in reality it’s mostly just luck and chance. It’s so hard to get out of that mind frame though.

@GCS34 No cause found, it’s just one of those things that is really common and often just due to a cell division error or abnormality. It’s basically just natures way of stopping something that could never be. That sounds very philosophical, and it’s taken me time to get to that point where I genuinely think that now, even with all the heartbreak and pain.

We have just started with fertility assessments really. I’ve had day 21 and ovulating fine, sperm analysis and amh test. All have come back fine. I just had day 3 bloods last week so I’ll find out the results next week but the gp said she will now refer us.

Wow 87 million! He really does have effective balls 😂😂 2 more cycles seems like a good shout and sensible. IVF really is grueling isn’t it? It’s not something to go into with eyes shut.

Their really is a lot of blame it's really sad. I can say that from the other side of the fence being the one to blame - I've said some horrid things to my body in sheer frustration which is so dumb really but you just get so frustrated right?

yeah that is a very diplomatic way of looking at it and I commend your attitude! your body won't carry a defected embryo, and I guess that is why it turfed it out as it wasn't a good egg (literally!) it's just hard to be on the receiving end of that I am sure. I really do feel so much for people who have birth losses. And no one fully appreciates the pain as it's something that you've not had almost? like grieving for a future, rather than past which a lot of people don't understand. I'm really pleased you're in a better place with it.

Good luck on your tests!! Let us know won't you? Really routing it's all okay though. Absolutely yeah - it's not something I want to do willy-nilly. I think the term is bashed around so freely that you think it's neither here nor there, but when you realise what it is and what happens, you realise that it is actually a big bloody deal!! xx

It’s so sad what we say to our bodies. Yours is working hard @GCS34 and doing as best as it can. I totally get the frustration. I said to my husband that I just felt like a failure and he told me I’m out of my mind 😂 and like yours, whatever happens we will deal with it.

Yes that’s totally correct, you’re grieving for all these hopes and an imagined future. Also combine that with the whammy of pregnancy hormones leaving your body, it’s like a physical assault. I have sympathy for everyone who’s gone through it.

Aw thank you. I’ll definitely let you all know once I’ve spoken to the gp next week! IVF is a big deal! People talk about it like it’s nothing but it (like all TTC) is a massive emotional rollercoaster. It so helps to be able to talk to all you lovely ladies! Xx

Haha, sometimes you just need to get stuff while you see it! I made my mum keep it so it wasn't in the same house as me 😂

Have you picked between the two? We need links to them! Omgosh, a Louis bag!! Go on 👏

Hahaha that's it @dabs9 ,the bbhugme! I just couldn't get on with it. It does look like a flump 😂 We definitely need to continue the pram chat when we get pregnant 🤣 I do think the egg looks cute! But the YOYO2 is so teeny and lightweight. I still have a Silvercross Wave but it's just so big and heavy!

I feel like I've missed so many messages! I was in the office today so didn't get a chance to check my phone.

@GCS34 I really want acupuncture! I definitely buy into it, I took Adolf to the osteopath when he was tiny and saw good results. The place I went to offer acupuncture, so it's something I'll probably try in a few months time - even if it's just a good stress reliever! I think I'll wait until after July though. Give it a few months au natural.

I'm CD2 today and my period is kicking my butt!

@georgiedas Welcome! How old is your little one? 🥰 I'm TTC #2 too!

@Orangenightie Someone on our previous thread (who was too shy to post their BFP I think) tested negative at 11DPO and positive at 12DPO. So you never know!

@Annapolis35 You poor thing! Could it be covid? Hope you feel better, STAT!

@A95x@A95x Best of luck with the new job! Very exciting. Glad you've been laughing lots, it really is the best medicine! Hope you aren't waiting too long for that referral.
@Amy

@Annapolis35 So glad you've got a referral in, hopefully you can get some more insight/help soon! I like the way you think about the egg/embryo not being healthy, I think of it the same way. Helps me be less disappointed when I don't fall pregnant.

@GCS34 You are a trouper 💪🏻 Good plan re two more good cycles. It's certainly worth trying everything before IVF. It's a really tough and grueling process. I'm so pleased I have friends who it worked for on cycle 2! Also, it must be difficult re feeling a sense of blame, regardless which person feels it. I think I'd struggle a bit too because I'm a perfectionist - I'm too scared to get any tests just in case. I know I'd spiral! But rather I was the issue than DH if that makes sense. He thinks he has super swimmers but doesn't have the data to back this up 🤣 I wish you'd come cook for me!

@dabs9 I really feel for your husband, although like the others say, I have friend it can be easier to improve sperm health through diet changes! LOL about that TikTok filter. I'm going to try it!

@GCS34 @Annapolis35 yeah the thought of IVF and everything that comes with it is really overwhelming. I have a friend who knows what our situation is and she's so flippant about the fact we'll probs need IVF and it really bothers me. It's totally unnatural and although it's incredible, I don't think anyone really want to put themselves through it unless 100000% necessary. I think the 2 more cycles plan sounds really good 💕 xx

@LeopardLover Hahahha yes we really need to get pregnant soon so that we can plan prams and other goodies!
I also want to buy a new house and car before we have a baby but don't see the point when we're not pregnant yet... so would reeeaallly appreciate a baby getting a wiggle on asap so we can crack on! Lol. Xx

Yeah I've seen loads of stuff on acupuncture and like you say, if it doesn't do anything, least I'll be chill!
Yeah it's so hard not to internalise it all and blame myself. I even looked back on what I did in my early twenties and researched it that would impact it etc. so hard not to blame yourself.
That's great for your friends. 2nd cycle of IVF or OI? I Just hope we get another shot at it and don't have to abandon.
How's ya belly - are you a doubled over kinda girl with periods or low key? Omg do you watch 'And just like that'? The SATC spin-off? Xx

Hahahaha Just those small things like a new £300,000 investment. 😂 would you stay round where you are or go rogue? Xx

Ah @Annapolis35 kudos to you as I don't think I could move on so quickly. You've done a wicked job at going at it full strength. Good on ya girl 🤍

@dabs9 I know it totally is gruelling right? I dunno why people just bash it about like it's having a filling. Mate, I'm gonna have dildo-can x100, with the added side of a catheter and someone coming and stealing all your eggs while you're unconscious. Yeah sound sounds beaut sign me up 😂🤷‍♀️

@LeopardLover ahhh I'd post a pic of it wasn't for the fact it is TOTALLY public and I don't want people to see 😂 and I learnt earlier you cannot delete comments !! 😳😳 I did NOT know that. 👀

@GCS34 😂😂 I know right, but we only planned to be in our current place a couple of years after flipping it and we're now at almost 5 years lol. Bloody covid ruined those plans.
We're ready to move but I think it makes more sense to wait longer, save more and have more money to decorate etc (or buy baby stuff 😅).
Think we'll be staying around here for at least another 5+ years.

Also.. going back to the acupuncture.. I've actually got an appointment for mine tomorrow. Will let you know if she managed to cure my never ending spotting lol.
But I've also just booked a reiki treatment for in a couple of weeks time. It's just a taster after a massage but my friend said it could potentially help with fertility as reduces stress, anxiety and tension 🤷‍♀️ x

Yeah it's too easy to get settled isn't it? We've had the current house nearly 5 years and going through the love it or list it debate. Think we might extend but who knows. Oh god bore off G Christ. And yeah all the best laid plans get messed up when you don't conceive or the small thing of a global pandemic. But yano, we move 😂 you got married last year right? Was your wedding the best? So want pics!! I asked my husband if we could renew ours last night and he said G we've not even been married 2 years yet. I was like errrr and.... 😂

Oh let me know on the acupuncture!! What is it for if you don't mind me asking? And I've heard good things about reiki. Xx