TTC after miscarriage thread 10

[mummatara]

@AwayWeGo22 @bunnykins123 @calimc83 @FfayeN @Chellooo @Indianna2006 @LuckyMoonstone @Luna57 @Margo34 @MIW01 @MrsCristiano @Pancake92 @pangolin84 @TheBirdintheCave @theblueflowers

Sorry if I forgot anyone ❤️ also hope I've done this right 😂

@MrsCristiano I totally agree with you! I know a few people who have had success when they stopped using opks so not sure how that works. I defo see something 🤞 did you test with one the the cheapies too?

@TheBirdintheCave that's so true! I always assumed mine was when O was about to happen but honestly, I haven't been able to pin point O even with all the testing I use. It's a minefield! I wouldn't worry too much about lack of symptoms, that could just be down to hormone levels rather than an anovulatory cycle.

@emhope good luck testing today 🤞🤞

@MrsCristiano if it came up within the time frame then that’s a pretty good sign, even if it is faint, I have had fake lines on clear blues before but they come up way after the time limit.

@MrsCristiano absolutely echo all your comments about O pains and peak. Mine were way after my peak this month, but last month was way before. It could be dependant on the size of the follicle or which side, who knows!
I see the line though! Have a fab holiday and keep us posted if you can 🥰 xx

No cheapies yet! Honestly last night was awful weird vivid dreams that could be true too. And a cheapie wouldnt show on a short hold. I've packed loads (and tampax because gotta be real about this) DH doesn't know so I've a digital with me xx

Actually in the airport atm me trying to explain to him why I don't want a runny yolk with my fry😂 I just don't like it ok??!

Thanks girls xx

Safe flight and enjoy Barcelona! :D

Well finally tested at 10-11 DPO and of course a BFN 😢 so guess I’m out for another cycle…

@emhope I'm so sorry it's a bfn 😥 this process is so unbelievably hard. Big hugs from me 💕

@MrsCristiano enjoy your holiday! Who actually likes runny eggs 🤔

Me! Haha I love a good runny egg 😬

@emhope Sorry about the bfn :(

@bunnykins123 thanks. Feeling very sad again now and to top it off I have my smear test later today 😥

Will be moving onto cycle number 6 so if it doesn’t work then I can go back to doctors as will have been TTC for 6 months (I’m 35) Anyone done this and know what tests they can run?

They start with blood tests for you and sperm analysis for your SO.

Hoping no one minds me joining this thread. I suffered a MMC in June. After TTC for several months we finally got lucky in March. Went for 12 week scan first week of June to discover baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks. I had surgical management, which had to be repeated a month later as they didn’t get everything out the first time. Finally got a negative pregnancy test a week later and my husband got covid so wasn’t physically up for trying that cycle! Which was probably for the best as they do advise you to wait until after your first period. This cycle we (ahem) put the effort in and I was feeling hopeful. I was 39 in august (think I actually ovulated on my birthday) so we don’t have time to hang about. Last week my period was a couple of days late, I was feeling tired and dizzy so started to get my hopes up. Then period arrived Friday (two hours before having to attend a wedding which was great timing). It has hit me again like the miscarriage. Just that feeling that another month has gone by and you’re no closer to the end goal. Anyway, I’m trying desperately to stay positive and started thinking about what we did differently on the successful cycle and it occurred to me that we were in the middle of giving up white carbs for lent. I did some research and it seems low carb diet is actually recommended to boost conception. Would be interested to hear anyone’s thoughts on diet and TTC?

@emhope sorry you had a BFN 😔.
@Lottylou2022 welcome to the group, I'm sorry for your loss, I am gluten free anyway which is meant to help but not sure of how much it impacts xx

@Lottylou2022 I'm so sorry you've found yourself on this forum and for your loss. I'm not too sure about how gluten affects fertility tbh - if you google most things, they say they are bad for fertility (caffeine, alcohol etc) so I try to go with everything in moderation. I don't swig the bottles every night but I do have a couple of drinks at the weekend and do enjoy a coffee daily. My theory is that this process is hard enough without having to remove things in life I enjoy. It may be worth checking out the book It Starts with an Egg as I think that covers most dos and donts.

@bunnykins123 thanks for the book recommendation I will check it out. I know what you mean, this process is rubbish as it is so why should we have to deny ourselves as well. However, husband and I have sort of decided that if it I’m not pregnant again by the end of the year we will probably call it a day on trying. Which realistically means four cycles left so I’m willing to try anything. Any other tips welcome! Prior to getting pregnant we had all the fertility tests done that showed there was no problem with either of us. Everything was doing what it should. The doctors call it ‘unexplained infertility’. We were being referred to see if we could get funding for IVF and then literally a week after the phone call getting the all clear from the doctor on the test results we conceived. Our IVF referral will have expired now and to be honest I don’t think I want to go down that road, given we know it can happen naturally. The thought of going through that process for it to potentially end the same as my first pregnancy is just too much to bear.

@emhope was it a FRER? Not many will pick up b4 then as demonstrated by my dodgy clear blue

I'm on my way to find a boots in Barcelona. I want to use the FRER but also like to have one spare? If that makes any sense 😂

Told DH. He's like 'why did you tell me' !! Im a dick I should have waited for a more positive test 🙄 your symptoms sounded so like mine except the waking ever hr to pee last night now that was traumatic.

@MrsCristiano I'm just relieved to be able to get back to some kind of normality with my cycle & start ttc again after this. The thrush was awful!!! Never had it before so really hope I don't keep getting it now I've had it once 😬

How many dpo are you? Mine was super faint like yours until the actual day I should have had my period!

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@ChloeN yep I think I spoke too soon , its definitely in full force now!! Just had to rush home from work arghhh.

@MrsCristiano you are a woman on a mission! Good luck - keep us updated!

@Lottylou2022 I wish I could share some pearls of wisdom but I really believe it's mostly down to luck. I've also read quite a few cases of ladies being in the same situation as you in that they fall pregnant the day they go for IVF - I think stress probably plays quite a big part in ttc. I think putting a timeframe on it also adds to the stress but equally understand as age is a huge factor for me too. Would you consider registering for IVF and just see where it takes you? There is no harm in getting the ball rolling even if you do decide you don't want to pursue it. It's a hard decision to make, I do understand 💕

@Lottylou2022 actually, just thought of a 'pearl' - are you taking any vitamins? They advise if you are over 35 to take ubiqunol (sp?) which is basically coq-10 and helps with egg quality. Any changes with vitamins etc take 3 months to take effect though. I take vitamin d, multi vit, ubiqunol and baby aspirin.

@bunnykins123 I carried on taking folic acid after the miscarriage. I’ve always been very sceptical about whether vitamins make any difference to your health but suppose it is worth a try.
I believe to get back on the IVF referral we would have to wait quite a while. I don’t believe we would get the funding now anyway that it’s happened naturally, it was borderline whether we would get it before as my NHS trust as a general rule requires couples to have been trying for two years. Our doctor was happy to be economical with the truth on the paper work.
I think the reality is we would have to pay for it, which would be possible, but I don’t think I could cope with going through all that to be honest.
I would be happy to carry on trying for a bit longer but my husband is 46 in December and already feels he is too old. I have to respect that, it’s not just about me after all!
Sigh. I’m going to give the ovulation sticks another try this month, I gave up with them last time as my cycles are like clockwork so it seemed a waste of time but at least I will feel like I’m doing something proactive.

@Lottylou2022 sorry to hear about your MMC ❤️ I can relate to a lot of what you say, I totally get how period each month seems to hit like the miscarriage. I think for me it feels like a harsh reminder that I’m not pregnant when I should be 6 months by now. My OH is also 45 (46 next March) and he was already a little worried about being older (actually took a while for him to come around to wanting to TTC in the first place) and he has said that he won’t want to keep trying for ages and would not consider IVF. I find it even harder to deal with as feels like there is a constant countdown to the day we will have to stop trying and a pressure to conceive before he decides he wants to stop (although haven’t discussed when exactly that is).

@Mariabombia 11dpo tomorrow and yes I found the FRER! Sent DH in (they keep them in a sneaky drawer in Spain 🙄) so will give one a go tomorrow provided I sleep well and don't pee all night xx

@emhope sorry for your loss. It’s so hard isn’t it, that feeling of where you ‘should’ be by now. I have someone on my team at work who went on maternity leave last October and I remember thinking to myself ‘well hopefully I will conceive soon and I will probably be off before she gets back’. She’s due back to work in four weeks and I’m not even pregnant. I try not to think about things this way but it’s so hard. I do also have to respect my husband’s wishes as it was my choice to wait a few years before trying. I just didn’t feel ready before. So I am carrying a lot of guilt that it’s my fault we don’t have much time to work with. I had a meltdown last night because I feel that might have been our one and only chance and maybe I did something wrong to cause the miscarriage, which I know is unlikely. My best friend has two children and each pregnancy was conceived the first month of trying so she can’t really relate. It is useful to have these message boards at least!

@Lottylou2022 oh it's so hard not to envision these perfect scenarios. I'm the same same with someone returning from maternity leave in Nov, I also told myself last year I would either be pregnant by Christmas this year or have given birth. Still not pregnant and no baby ☹️ I don't think you can think like that, nobody knows how the decisions we make will impact the future. Oh I think we all know someone just looked at their partner and fell pregnant! I understand the IVF conundrum. We will be going ahead with IVF but will have to go private. I so don't want to do it but I need to try. DH seems open enough, he's 42 and hasn't mentioned age as a barrier yet. You say you had tests done before, what did they include? Was it the more extensive tests?

This might sound a silly question but hoping one of you ladies will have the answer!
Ive just had my first period after mc, and it’s lasted longer than normal. Does that mean I’ll ovulate later this month?
I was going to do ovulation tests this month but don’t know when to start them!

Not silly at all :) I don't think a longer period affects ovulation as the cycle starts with day one of bleeding. I'd suggest starting to use ovulation tests a few days before the time you usually ovulate :) If that's day 14 then maybe start around day 10?