Medical termination and ttc

[Cakesnbiscuit]

Has anyone else had to have a medical termination then ttc again?

I am absolutely petrified to ttc again incase the same issue arises but I desperately want another baby. I’m not sure I can put myself through the pain again but the overwhelming urge to have a child isn’t going away.

I’m heartbroken and grieving as it was recently which isn’t helping.

@Cakesnbiscuit I am on iron tablets at the moment due to loss of blood in surgery as I have retained placenta. Due a blood test this month to find out if I need to continue the iron tabs. I do feel constantly exhausted x

@HoneyPea keep on the iron then for sure. If you aren’t taking three tablets a day up your dose to that and it might take the edge off the tiredness. It’s taken me 2 weeks on the strong dose to feel more human. Hope you feel better soon! X

@Cakesnbiscuit I was told that they used to give 3 a day but now the dose is 1 a day. I've been having them for the last 10 weeks. X

Sending you love and strength

I have had two TFMRs in the last 18m. Both second trimester. And a MMC in between which required medical management. It is incredibly hard.

Have you had any contact with SANDS? Arc are good, I found the forum incredibly helpful in the early days. But i do online SANDS meetings which have been a lifeline. You should have a local chapter which you can find on their website.

We are still TTC. Hope is a very powerful thing.

@HoneyPea oh no that rubbish next time you speak to the doctor check. They told me 3 was to combat anaemia while 1 was to maintain.

@HedgehogToes I haven’t check out SANDs but I will do thank you!

@HedgehogToes 💔 I really feel for you, going through it once is heartbreaking, I can't imagine how it feels to go through as much as you have.
Have you spoken to anyone about the odds of it happening again?
@Hopingforbetterluck How did you get your appointment with genetics?
@Cakesnbiscuit I will thank you
X

HoneyPea Thank you ♥️ It's about a 1 in 10 chance of reoccurring now. From 0.08% then about 4% and now 10%. We are incredibly fortunate that we have a healthy 5yo so we know our genetics "work" together. So we just have to hope. It a special hell though.

I will say, it doesn't get easier, but it does get further away, and less raw. Definitely a lesson in survival and endurance though.

@HoneyPea we were given our appointment with genetics automatically because of our reason for TFMR. Our baby had a large unbalanced translocation of chromosomes which can be passed down from the parents so they automatically tested myself and my husband. I think they also thought it might explain our previous losses but in the end it didn’t. I guess it depends on the particular circumstances of the pregnancy as to whether they do the tests but if your reason was something that could be genetic then perhaps your doctor could refer you to your local genetics department? The test we had was called a karyotype if that helps

Hope everyone is doing as ok as can be?

@Hopingforbetterluck No I don't think we would be able to be referred. Our TFMR was due to T21, heart problems, very large cystic hygroma and membranes being loose, so a combination of things.

@HedgehogToes like you say at least you know you can make a healthy baby. I don't know if I would have been able to try again if the TFMR had come before my DS. X

@Cakesnbiscuit Had the results of my blood test and apparently my iron levels seem to be ok so they have told me not to bother taking them anymore.
@RMS0209 How is the TTC journey going? I feel like I might be ready to start again now but don't think DH is 😢 Mentioned that I would like to try again and got oh, I wasn't thinking we would try that until next year some time.

Hi @HoneyPea
Glad to hear your iron levels are ok, that's wonderful I am delighted for you.

TTC journey not going well.. currently cycle 5 cycle day 5.. getting a bit deflated now.
I am happy to hear you think you may be ready to try again. Did DH say anything else apart from that? I know he is maybe just cautious and worried my OH iwas the exact same but we are are on the same wave length now and I could tell he was upset on Friday when AF appeared. :( x

@RMS0209 I'm sorry it isn't happening as quickly for you as it did before. Please don't loose hope. Are you trying anything different or sticking to the method you were trying.
I don't think I'll ever be ready but I would love another one. I think I'm worrying that it might not be as easy and quick as the last 2 times. I have a nearly 3 year old and I don't want there to be a massive gap between them (if we ever get lucky enough to have another!)
I'm on CD10 today so might not be able to try this cycle anyway (no idea when ovulation usually is, I've only ever gone by my Fitbit apps general fertile week) x

Hi how is everyone doing
@HoneyPea did you decide to try this cycle?
@RMS0209 how are you getting on this cycle?
we are going on holiday this weekend and we’re not trying properly until we come back as in not tracking ovulation with tests, however we’ve not been using protection. I think I’m 18dpo (although I’m not sure as like I say I’m not tracking and that’s just going on cm). I’m too terrified to do a test. I could be completely wrong about when I ovulated or might not have at all as I have PCOS but I’m so afraid to check.

Hi @Hopingforbetterluck lovely to hear from you again 💗🌸

Yeah @HoneyPea how are you doing? We are here for you if you decided to try again this cycle.

I'm ok... not much to report here CD13 today, trying "SMEP" method again a remix version started CD11 going for every 2nd night until I get a peak (which hopefully will be before CD23 this month!)
I am very jealous of holiday, where are you going? Somewhere lovely I bet.
Least you get CM, I get bloody none! Grr.

I hear you with the being scared to test.. I did one 12DPO in Jan and the BFN made me so sad... yet here I am in May still trying!

Stay strong xx

@RMS0209 Guessing giving birth has messed up your cycles as day 23 sounds fairly late? Is the total length of your cycles changing every month? Do you do tests to check ovulation?
@Hopingforbetterluck I can imagine you are feeling nervous about testing but I don't think I would have the willpower to wait!

No I haven't tried this cycle as I've been unwell. I had a bad UTI in March which took 2 lots of antibiotics to clear and then it started again at the beginning of this month. I then ended up having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics and ended up in hospital. I just want to feel well again, it's really getting to me now 😢 x

@HoneyPea I didn't give birth, I tend to ovulate differently every month but this month i am on CD14 and my OPK's are looking good so hopefully I get my peak CD16/17 latest this month.
I use an ovusense and cheapie OPK strips.

So sorry to hear you arent feeling great sending hugs x

@RMS0209 I’ve got my fingers crossed for you this month! We are going to Portugal so hoping to have a nice couple of weeks.
@HoneyPea aw I’m so sorry you’re not well. I really hope you feel better soon and feel ready to ttc.
I did a test this morning which I thought was negative but when I looked at it later there was a faint line. Thought it must be an evaporation line but went out and got a blue dye and digital test. I was so sure they’d be negative I bought a bottle of wine with my shopping but I’ve come home and done them and they’re both positive. I’m so confused as I thought pink dye tests were more sensitive (the one I did first thing) and I’ve only ever had strong results with them. I’m thinking it could be a chemical or is it possible I’ve still got HCG in my system from the TFMR in February? I’m completely thrown now.

Thanks @Hopingforbetterluck I am hoping for some luck this cycle ... feeling positive today, yesterday however....

Can you send photos of your test? I'd like to see. X

@RMS0209 surely the top pink dye test is too faint to be a real positive at 18dpo?

This is probably a better picture in better light - the pink one looks even fainter in this

@RMS0209 sorry I just assumed. Glad it's looking good this month though 😊
@Hopingforbetterluck They look like good positives to me, some people don't get strong ones until fairly late in I don't think. I wouldn't think you would still have HCG from Feb, I have read it can usually be up to 8 weeks so depends if it was end of Feb I suppose x

@Hopingforbetterluck wow! these look good, if it was back in Feb I wouldnt think you would still have now? I am so happy for you! really hope this is your month. How are you feeling about it? Could you book a DR app jus for peace of mind? x

@HoneyPea that's ok :) yeah definitely is I have cut back on all my supplements and just taking folic acid on its own as I think it may have been the multivitamin that lengthened my cycle i read a few people had the same experience! x

@HoneyPea my TFMR was at the start of feb but I was over 20 weeks so it’s possible I’m just not testing negative from that yet
@RMS0209 I’m not sure how I feel, none of my last three pregnancies have worked out and I was getting stronger lines with those tests. I’m not sure it’s a new pregnancy. Unfortunately where I am in the UK the Dr doesn’t do blood tests to confirm pregnancy and I doubt they’d see me before Saturday anyway. I think I’ll try to put it to the back of my mind and if AF still hasn’t shown by the time I’m back from abroad I’ll test again and see if it’s any darker

@Hopingforbetterluck I am here if you need to talk, please remember that.
Your DR sounds about as much use as mine... I think you should go and enjoy holiday and see if AF appears and if not do a test when you are home and we will all be waiting for you. x