Trying to conceive over 40 part 2

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

Can I join please? I'm about to turn 40. We have two children who are 8&6. I've always wanted another, but DH was reluctant. He changed his mind in 2020, I got pregnant straight away, but had a MMC picked up at the 12 week scan. I then got pregnant three months later, but miscarried at 6 weeks. Then, I got pregnant the month our first loss would have been due, but lost it at 9 weeks. I've been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, who requested blood tests that I had in January. I was due a follow-up at the beginning of February, but the appointment has been delayed until mid-March. Part of me feels like I should think myself lucky for what I have, and we have taken a break to try to move in, but I am crying all the time, and cannot let this go. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just where I am. So we're going to start trying again, but also look at private fertility tests, just to get an idea of whether it is totally pointless or not!

@Equimum Welcome to the group. So sorry to hear of your losses. Hopefully you'll get some answers when you have your appt x

Welcome @Equimum! Really sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm going for my first child but I don't believe that having children already should stop you from wanting more. Your heart wants what it wants and that's okay. I really hope you get the answers you need soon. Keep us updated xxx

@stuntbubbles. You are hilarious; your way with word make me laugh! But I know how annoying it is when AF comes. I hope you're okay xxx

@Equimum Welcome! Sorry about your losses. Having children already doesn’t preclude the all-consuming desire for more.

@TTCat40 Haha, thank you. I’m absolutely fine – aside from the horrendous first 24 hours of period which for me always means a sick migraine and cramps like I’ve been run over. Day 1 of cycle and thus the countdown to trying again, and thoroughly believing THIS will be the month, 100% beats the mental trauma of desperately testing at 13/14dpo and getting BFNs and just wanting to move on. It’s a kind of mental and physical reset. Also being so poorly with it gives me carte blanche to park DD in front of Frozen while I lie down

Oh wow @Littlemiss41andfabulous huge congratulations to you and your partner. She’s beautiful. Soak in all those newborn cuddles. I hope you get some rest and recover quickly. Lots of love! Xx

The red witch arrived this morning 2 days late, so just enough for me to get my hopes up!!!
Heyho February here we come

Beautiful @Littlemiss41andfabulous congratulations!!
I hate it when af is late @DOB78 so cruel. Fingers crossed for February xx

@stuntbubbles I am the same :( Waiting for my AF right now and reading into every single symptom. It is cruel that period symptoms can be the same as pregnancy. My breasts are huge, solid and sore atm (even my DH husband noticed), I have a snotty nose and I am very tired. But also feeling the crampy feeling I get when I'm about to come on and I am getting a spot near my mouth (always a sign of period).

I'm 44, no kids. Pregnant with twins two years ago ended in miscarriage at 11 weeks. I have endo and a blocked tube. Pregnancy was a lovely surprise and we've been trying for years. We kind of gave up before we got pregnant as thought it would never happen so it was a lovely surprise. Still hoping but aware I'm getting older :(

@Littlemiss41andfabulous She is absolutely beautiful! Congratulations. Thank you for posting as this does give me hope xx

@Momddun it's definitely possible.

@TTCat40 oh that's good! I'm definitely going to look into a few

@Littlemiss41andfabulous that's so amazing congratulations! And she's absolutely beautiful 😍 xx

@stuntbubbles ahh I'm sorry we arrived - I think our brains are all delusional at this stage!

@Equimum hi and welcome, I'm very sorry to read of your losses. Tests are definitely a good idea, a good should do quite a few for you then anything else you can get through a fertility specialist.

@DOB78 af is a son of a b@£ch when she delays her arrival like that! Hope you're ok

Just checking in, had the most wonderful 40th birthday. Even if AF arrived the day before! Hope everyone is well. Currently 2dpo. Not overly hopeful this month

Hi! Hopefully it's ok to join in here.

I'm 41 - 42 in April and been TTC since a loss in 2019. I do have regular periods although they sometimes fluctuate a few days either side. I'm also overweight.

I feel I've been fobbed off by my Drs as my and DH's fertility tests are 'satisfactory' - and I guess I don't really push them enough for help.

This morning I woke up feeling more positive and I have a call with my Dr later this morning.

Can anyone please give me some tips on what to ask for to help us?

Thanks Ladies, fed and pissed off we've no BFP this month. I'm starting to think the menopause might be on the way, longer cycles and lighter flow........superb!!

@oldermam Happy 40th Birthday.🎂 Sorry hear party pooper AF arrived and you never know might be the best birthday present waitinging you at the end of TWW.

@furmumma welcome to the group! I'm not usually this miserable, well I probably am but try not to be. Can't really give any advice we're waiting for a fertility appt too.

Hope the rest of the gang is doing alright 👍

Hi ladies. Hope you're all well. And welcome @furmumma. Hope your fertility appointment went well.
@oldermam Happy 40th birthday! Glad you had a wonderful time. And you never know what gift awaits you in a couple of weeks!
@DOB78 you're not being negative. Just honest and I know exactly how you feel. My cycles are longer and I have an extremely light flow and only lasting 2 days. The doctor thinks I'm peri menopausal, which is so depressing. I've just invested in a Mira fertility kit as I want to make sure I'm ovulating and DTD at the right times. Here's hoping that a BFP is around the corner for all of us soon ❤️❤️

@TTC@40 ooooo I've not heard of that I'll take a look at it now. I think I'm ovulating as I get positive OPK but I could be wrong, oh dear lord this so much more complicated that it was in my 20s!!!

@DOB78 Yes, all my googling led me to it 😅 it's pricey but my partner agreed that we need to throw everything and the kitchen sink at TTC. You're right; it's soooooooooo much more complicated. I honestly wished I had done this sooner but heyho, no point in regretting. Just hope that a BFP is around the corner this month xx

@Littlemiss41andfabulous congratulations!!! She looks gorgeous - well done you. Hope you are enjoying all those snuggles and surviving the crazy newborn days! Thank you for giving us all a beacon of hope :o)

@TTCat40 we're gonna make it happen!! It sounds really terrible to have to do but we've planned our days for DTD this month and I honestly don't think we can do anymore than that. I do think that's been out biggest issue.
I really really hope your plan works for you and we'll both have a BFP soon x

Hi furmumma, welcome, and sorry to hear of your loss. I'm new in here too, having had a few miscarriages last year.

Congratulations Littlemiss41andfabulous. I hope you are enjoying all those newborn cuddles.

Not related to TTC, I might not have gotten my BFP but I did get engaged yesterday!!!

@DOB78 Aw what lovely news, big congrats! Enjoy all the fizz! ❤️

Congratulations, @DOB78! That’s excellent news!

Over here my SIL has just announced the pregnancy I was convinced of at Christmas (when I was madly testing following a chemical pregnancy). Feel completely flat. I know babies aren’t finite and someone else’s uterus happenings have ZERO impact on my own but it’s still hard to hear. Especially when every other mother of a 2-3 year old is either pregnant or has a newborn, feel like I’m the only one at pick-up not on the same path.

Congratulations @DOB78. That's fantastic news! Exciting times ahead 🎉🎉

@DOB78 wooo congratulations! Excellent news!! How lovely for you 🥰

@stuntbubbles it’s totally understandable you would feel that way. Emotions don’t care about rational thought! Does your SIL know you are trying for a baby? I have the same situation but the other way around (I’m preg while
My SIL was trying) we spoken openly to each other about it and I think it helped. In the meantime you have to keep faith. It will happen for you, it’s just a very excruciating wait to get the right egg. After watching lady after lady on this thread have BFPs and go in to successfully pregnancy I was getting really down after 2mcs. But third time lucky and I’m now 23 weeks. I am sure it will happen for you xxx

@stuntbubbles I know it's hard. It's natural to feel that way. My friend, who already has a 3 year old, sent me a picture of her pregnancy test on Monday, asking me if it was positive. It was sooooo positive! I didn't envy her but it made me think about myself and how much I want to be able to see a positive pregnancy. It really is depressing. We just have to keep trying. We've got this! Xx