Feb Bus Pt 3

[Juno231]

@MimiArm
@paintfairy
@MrsTwentyEight

Figured I'm not ready to let you ladies go ☺️

@MrsTwentyEight I like the way you think 😉

Although I'm secretly thinking that if I get preggers in Dec instead I can drink til it's pink and have a Sep baby (good for school year!)

@Juno231 old swimmers?

What an arse about AF! Nothing like false hope! Is past 5pm a strange time? 🤣 Mine comes at any time- it quite enjoys the middle of the night.

I'm half way through my 2ww now. Nothing much to report. Spotting odd days but not every single day like last month.

@paintfairy he just didn't bother to clear out his system 3-5 days beforehand like you're meant to so he won't have fresh swimmers at hand. Can def skew the results but he was being a twat so oh well. Had big arguments this weekend over his lack of interest /involvement.

I tend to get AF with my first wee of the morning and find a lot of other women have the same. Late afternoon/early evening is not one I've had for a veeeery long time.

Ie if AF doesn't show in the morning I tend to be able to assume that it won't come at all that day!

@Juno231 well that's daft? Won't really get an accurate result? It does ask you though how old it is on the paperwork.

How bizarre. My AF never comes at a set time. I've gone to bed before feeling crampy and knowing it'll come shortly. Often wakes me. It's come at midnight, 5am literally whenever.

@paintfairy yeah he didn't bother looking up any info and then I finally caved in and did it for him and told him about it at the start of the week and then, Wed, Thurs, Fri and he still didn't bother to. When I told him I'm sick of doing all of the thinking, planning, research and tracking myself he told me I was being a martyr and it's not at all a burden to tell him stuff. Oh and then he said me nagging him to be more involved was making TTC into a chore... I genuinely could have killed him this weekend i tell you.

@Juno231 I think we had a leaflet with our test kit? It said on there. Although it said 2-7 days in one place and 2-5 in another. 🙄 I did check in with him before though and make sure it was under control and then made him do an extra one. 🤣 I suppose i should be grateful he listened. I do nag I guess. But I think it's hard. Men don't really need any input mostly and so they don't need to pay attention. Everything is on the woman it seems. Even referrals? When it takes 2 last time I looked? We've had arguments over it. I've chilled out now because it has gone on so long, but in the beginning I struggled. And he didn't seem that interested. Maybe men just aren't?

[quote Juno231]@paintfairy yeah he didn't bother looking up any info and then I finally caved in and did it for him and told him about it at the start of the week and then, Wed, Thurs, Fri and he still didn't bother to. When I told him I'm sick of doing all of the thinking, planning, research and tracking myself he told me I was being a martyr and it's not at all a burden to tell him stuff. Oh and then he said me nagging him to be more involved was making TTC into a chore... I genuinely could have killed him this weekend i tell you.[/quote]
We all have this @Juno231
My DH is literally so chilled about it all and I don't understand how 😫 And he is in healthcare too like me. Wonder why he goes the other way whereas I'm a super stressed.
Hope the old swimmer results regardless are okay!
Re: September school year...literally the only silver lining I'll be clinging onto when I see those BFNs in a few weeks 😂

@paintfairy that's good about less spotting this time around though :)

@MrsTwentyEight this time last year I was waiting slightly because I didn't want a child born right at the end of the school year. 🤣 If only I knew.....

[quote paintfairy]@MrsTwentyEight this time last year I was waiting slightly because I didn't want a child born right at the end of the school year. 🤣 If only I knew.....[/quote]
Ahh it's alright
Like they say "everything happens for a reason" eh

@paintfairy we got no kit or leaflet and OH was told to just buy a plastic tub thing from the pharmacy 🤷‍♀️. I don't buy the men excuse, they're just being twats. My male colleague did all the research and had all the apps for when him and his Mrs were ttc.

And then you get plenty of posts like this :
www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/j7ef84/how_can_i_better_support_my_wife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I actually sent him that link and told him to read the comments...

@paintfairy oh good about less spotting!
@MrsTwentyEight agreed that the school year thing is the only hope I'm clinging on to lol

@Juno231 🤣 I'm not sure that's the norm though. And if my OH was fussing around me, having apps and being overly involved - then I wouldn't have married him in the first place. Lol. Because if I was with someone who was like that with everything, it wouldn't work. I agree they need to be interested though, there should be a balance.

@paintfairy agreed - I just can't fathom a reality where my OH would tell me my lack of involvement is hurtful, can I please try and take an interest and I just ignored it. I think that's the attitude that makes me so cheesed off.

I do find it odd how different the SA process seems to be between trusts - I asked OH if his form asked him when he'd last cleared the pipes and he said nope! It only asked for his personal info and when the sample was produced. He also said for all the rush to get it to the clinic within an hour they just nonchalantly put it on the desk and left it there...

@Juno231 oh really? OH passed his through a hatch and she took it and passed it to the lab directly behind. He could see. That was at the hospital itself. But it is a lottery I think- everything seems to be! Some trusts aren't doing ivf as they have no money?

I know what you mean. And I have wondered if the disinterest carries on if a baby arrives. Because I think it'll stay the same. Which was my reservation about the whole thing. Basically I'll end up doing everything with OH dipping in when it's convenient. Just like now. 🤣

@Juno231 omg yes that's a worry for me as well. I'm already struggling with carrying the entire mental load of the household, with OH kinda pulling his own weight only when there are specific things going on - e.g. house moves, a wedding or whatever

Doing things like cleaning, cooking, sorting out bills/finances, grocery shopping or anything like that is out of his abilities atm. If I give him specific things to be responsible for he still won't do them without me prompting him to, which makes me a nag. Then he does them very poorly and I'm a nag again for expecting better. In the end we end up in this vicious cycle where I do things myself cause it's easier in the short run but shoots me in the foot in the long run...

We've even been to therapy about it so this is him improved!

@Juno231 yeah I have the same issues. He does do things but I have to micromanage most of it. 🙄 And the amount of things he does where he lacks basic common sense (leaving the front door wide open when we've a dog) scares me really. I'm not sure a child would survive! 🙈 I sometimes question whether this is why it's not happening- like, it's really not meant to be. It'll just give me even more to try to juggle whilst he floats around doing what he wants. He's not as bad as some men, don't get me wrong, but it's still hard work.

@paintfairy haha yes! Mine put the loo brush in the dishwasher once cause he thought that's how you clean it...

@Juno231 no way? 🤣🤣🤣

@paintfairy it was a very upsetting day 🤣

Jeez ladies trying to do it every other day is hella stressful isn't it ?! First time we are both "trying" hard!! Normally I try to keep it quiet I'm ovulating. But this month I've even made sure I'm not doing intermittent fasting during this crucial window  Can this month just be IT 
And LOL at the hubby stories!! I feel like I do set Hubby a list of things to do etc like you @Juno231 but in certain aspects like bills, technology etc he is a lot better than me so he takes charge. Far more of an intellectual (which is why I pray any kids get his brains 🧠😂)

@MrsTwentyEight 🤣 Yeah it's hard work if it's scheduled. I've stopped doing it as it wasn't exactly working. I'm lucky OH has a high drive though so it's not like he never wants to.

I'm lucky OH does our shopping. And he will cook. He'll also put things in the tumble dryer for me (its in the shed). He now will also wash towels or bedding on the correct day if I happen to not be home. He sorts gas/electric bill as it was in his name from before. He'll do other things but I have to remind him. He's not really a diy person either so that's always a struggle and he's better at technology too.
I think I just see things that need to happen and he just never does? No intuition. 🤣

@MrsTwentyEight oh what IF do you do? I'm doing 18:6 this week :) also every other day would kill my OH so I have no clue how hard it could be 😅. Currently haven't DTD'd since the 17th!

@paintfairy ahh that's good it works out naturally for you - atleast that's one less thing to not have to think about

@Juno231 every other day is stressing me out and I only started on CD11...CD15 today 🤣 DH is happy about it for obvious reasons but also I feel like I'm putting a lot of pressure on the poor man 😭
My IF is weird...I basically skip breakfast and lunch and have a dinner only! I can't stick to strict timings and I do also cheat with coffee in between 😑 16:8 sounds great! How long have you done it now? I feel like I barely get hungry during the day now....