35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

@edidxb lovely news! FX for your doctors appointment on Tuesday x

Really wonderful news @edidxb ❤

Congratulations @edidxb I hope you have a happy and stress free pregnancy x

Lovely news @edidxb Congratulations! 🎉😁💕

Can do jump on the bus?

Have 2 x DS to my ex husband ages 15 and 16
Also had 5 MC prior to having my 2 x DS, I know Iv got rehsus negitive blood and need anti D injections, I had these injection during my pregnancy with my 2 x DS and ended up having wonderful pregnancies with natural deliveries.

Got back with my first love and we've been TTC since August 2016
Went to the doctors a few months back and i seem to be ovulating! Don't know if my body just took a very long time to start ovulating again after having the coil removed in August 2016 as I had it in for almost 11 years. Got referred to the hospital who gave me another appointment for a hycosy test which is still to be done. It was scheduled for 1st of November but then ...

2 weeks ago I tested on 13DPO and got my first BFP since TTC but sadly 4+3 it all ended when I started bleeding. Midwife asked me to go to hospital, found out I had a urine infection and my hcg was dropping so I got put on antibiotics. They also cancelled my hycosy test and are going to reschedule for January.

So that's kind of where I'm at, feeling very drained and just want our miracle baby to happen. Also feeling very anxious because I had 5 MC prior to conceiving my 2 x DS. My DP took the MC very bad as it's never happened to him before and he's now saying that he only want to try for another year because he's reaching 40 in the next few months, his DS and DD are ages 18 and 19. I think he's scared that the same is also going to happen again as he knows what Iv been through before because he comes to all my appointments. When we were in the hospital last week with the MC he said he'd rather have a bullet to the brain as go through that again, I think he just thought I was pregnant and we would finally be having a baby so his world came tumbling down and I think it's scared him! I think it also scares him that it might keep happening also, he's such a soft hearted person but I'm now feeling that time isn't on our side also.

@edidxb Wow!! Amazing news, very excited for you. Good luck with your docs appointment 🤞😊 xxx

@Bambi I am exactly the same, no go in me until the very last moment! Then I turn into a mad women! 🙈

Well ladies a week off work, which hopefully means a little less stress and overthinking to do. I have no idea when I will/IF I ovulate but I’m feeling positive and hoping this restful week will be the week to conceive 😊. But if not atleast give my body a chance to hopefully relax and bloody regulate itself! 🤞🤞🤞.

Hope all are well, I cannot believe how many BFP we are getting 💕

Congratulations @edidxb that's fantastic news- hope all goes smoothly and stress free for you both!

Hi @Dianebz1 you're very welcome to join us, and so sorry about your recent mc. It sounds like it hit your dp very hard.
Most of us in this thread are all ttc our first aged 35+, and focus is on this(we do veer off track though), and the issues surrounding being childless (so far!) into our late 30s. Your dc are far from babies any more, I imagine it must feel like a lifetime since they were tiny.
I definitely feel like time is against me, usually when my oh doesnt get the hint that its fw!

Im currently 6dpo. my FF chart finally gave me ovulation date & coverline at 4dpo. Hoping I've done enough this month, had low-down cramps today. A bit odd, not that im a symptom-spotting-maniac! Might have been all the gardening ive done today.

Congratulations @edidxb - hope the next year goes well for you!

I'm cd13 and hopefully with ovulation imminent. I'm using the clear blue monitor this month as well as the cheapies, and currently getting a high reading but no positive yet. OH has been cooperative and we've DTD today and yesterday and he said he can manage tomorrow too if necessary but he's starting to get sore! Maybe I should invest in some conception lube.

I managed to get an eBay bargain CB monitor for under £20 so thanks @CNizzle for the tip. Hoping it works for us.

Nice one @79andnotout - you’re practically doing smep

Welcome @Dianebz1 👋 So sorry to hear about your MC 😔 Sounds like your DP has taken it very hard. I hope things get better for you.

Oooh, a week off @Carley32! 😃 I hope you're doing lots of lovely things? I've got a 4 day week myself before we go to visit DP's family (I've got the cases out of the wardrobe, but not a single thing packed 🙄 I'm sure we'll be sorted out by the Thursday deadline 😉).

Most impressed with your gardening @CNizzle! Hopefully the low down cramping will be a good symptom 🤞🏻

@79andnotout, I find fertility lube to be a many splendered thing 😄 Definitely helps stave off soreness, if nothing else. How's the exercising going? Reading about everyone's proactive fitness guilted me into my first 5k today in 3 months... think I'll be hobbling tomorrow! That'll teach me to let the running lapse 😕

Only CD8 here. Feeling surprisingly horny, so think I may jump DP before the night is out 😈 Fertile week is going to be exactly whilst we're staying with DP's parents... not off-putting at all 😏

@CNizzle thank you! Im a symptom maniac aswel, how long have you been TTC? I hope something positive happens this month for you.

Iv just noticed the TTC#1 ...I'm so sorry guys I feel so awful now!!!!! Im really new to this and haven't done it before!! Here's me going on about my situation with 2 DS and none of you have had the opportunity to experience being a parent yet ..please forgive me.

@BambiOnIce80 Thank you, yeah he has taking it pretty bad ..he's so soft! His work gave him a day off work to be with me at home after it so I thought that was really nice as I feel sometimes the men's feelings don't get taking into consideration much in these situations sadly. So it was really nice of them to tell him to take the time off.

@Dianebz1 ive been ttc for almost a year officially, but off bc for over 2 - Not really trying/not preventing prior to that. Im going for a hycosy this month. I've heard mixed stories about them being painful, but i guess its something i need to do. Plus I've heard it can increase your fertility for the following few months.
Im sorry, I didnt mean to make you feel awkward. Please, stay & chat, we're a friendly bunch

@CNizzle aww thank you, you all seem a friendly bunch  Iv also heard so many mixed stories aswel. I was supposed to go this Thursday, you could maybe let me know how your experience goes as I probably won't be going until January now. The doctor I saw at the hospital told me and DP that the majority of woman fall pregnant the within a month or two so that's very positive also. I can't get it done until AF arrives after since my MC so that's why mines got cancelled, Iv to ring the hospital back when AF arrives and they will reschedule for January.

Congratulations @edidxb
I'm cd11 and have been using the Clear Blue Advanced OPK (the normal OPK wasn't available at the local boots).
OPK showed a High yesterday and a Peak today (and now the solid Peak smiley will apparently stay for 48 hours).
Unfortunately I think I might have developed a case of bacterial vaginosis!

OooOooh @terriwrist you have my sympathies, I have been plagued by BV in the past. The treatment gel from Boots is a lifesaver but I think it is not suitable to use when trying to conceive (probably just due to the gel making it difficult for the sperm to move through it.)
Welcome @Dianebz1, I'm sorry you and DP have had a loss, but heartened to hear that work gave him some time off. We are definitely getting better at recognising the importance of good mental health!
@CNizzle my sister has adenomyosis and had a hyscopy and they were unable to flush the dye down either of her fallopian tubes. She was told the chance of conceiving naturally was pretty much zero. My nephew was conceived about 6 weeks later. I'm sure the act of trying to flush and applying that pressure just helped shift or weaken some "stuff" that was causing the blockage. Devout DSis and DBil believe it to be a miracle. The miracle is enormous, he weighs more than most 4 year olds as they feed him every time he makes a sound
@79andnotout I am impressed at DP's commitment to the cause this month, that's so great! But yes yes get the fertility lube don't give him a reason to stop now! And I find it generally makes things more enjoyable too
CD26 here, 9DPO ....and there was a little bit of brown when I wiped earlier I'm probably due AF tomorrow or the next day so if I absolutely have to be not pregnant I'm at least hoping AF stays away til CD28 as my cycles seem to be getting slightly shorter. I was having loads of aching in my lower abdomen last night, it would be so easy to grasp at that as a symptom but given my lower back is not 100% yet and I'm also getting pains in the tops of my legs/hips I think it's more likely to be referred pain from the back. DP has just left for 2 days away for work and I think we've talked about babies and conceiving quite a lot this month, watching documentaries about infertility, talking about it and spent a bit of time with little children in my family. Added to the fact we're generally getting on really well after a bit of a grumpy patch I think we both felt like we should be "owed" a BFP! I didn't tell him about the brown stuff today but it's going to be hard to tell him if AF turns up while he's away.
Back to work tomorrow which won't help a slightly blue mood!

Uh, that's crappy timing for BV @terriwrist! 😔 I hope it clears up quickly 🤞🏻

I hope AF stays away for you @Chelonia 🍀 If it doesn't, I guess you've got all week to get your CD0-5 bloods done (glass half full and all that!).

I used to feel owed a BFP too, but I think as time's gone on I'm kind of accepting that it's unlikely to happen without the help of science, in my case 🤓 It's not stopping us from trying of course, but the pressure feels oddly taken off because it seems unlikely to happen without the NHS, if that makes sense?!

Welcome @Dianebz1 - hope you manage to both get back to a good place.

@BambiOnIce80 - which lube do you use? I'll get some ordered for next month. Still no sign of ovulation here, so it's going to be later than usual I think. Well done on the 5k! Do you ever do parkrun? We've started going again recently as OH only likes to exercise if there's some element of competition involved, and it helps motivate him during the week. I am absolutely loving all the exercise I've been doing and I'm starting to feel really full of energy, and have been getting shit done. OH has re-nicknamed me "The Taskmaster". However, not enjoying the diet (which is basically 1300 calories a day, with a focus on eating good protein). I've also not stuck to it very well this week and have had lot of wine, halloween sweets (meant to be for the trick or treaters), and chocolate. I think unfortunately though I've concluded that I wont shift any flab through exercise alone, so going to try to be good with my diet this week, and meal plan. I know what you mean about accepting you need science to conceive. I'm thinking we'll just try our hardest for these coming few months, I'll get my body in peak shape and eat well and take lots of vitamins, and then I'll be as prepared for IVF as I can be.

@Chelonia - fingers crossed AF stays away! Would be good to keep up the streak of good luck through this thread!

@terriwrist - sorry to hear about the BV :( hope it clears up quickly.

@CNizzle @Dianebz1 - yeah my HSG was painful, and it took a little bit of time to flush through so maybe there was something in the way. Good to do it, though. It seems very hit and miss how painful it is. I took paracetamol and ibuprofen before hand and I'm bloody glad I did. Make sure you take the rest of the day off work to rest up if needed.

@79andnotout I've used both preseed and conceive plus (whichever one is on offer, basically!). They both seem as good as each other. The main difference seems to be that the conceive plus comes in a pre-filled applicator whereas you have to fill the preseed one yourself (bit of a mood killer, but you can then use as little or as much as you want - potentially less wasteful, I guess).

I sound like the exact opposite of your OH when it comes to running - I hate the competitive bit! 😂 I did a team relay marathon a couple of years ago and absolutely hated it! Much prefer going at my own pace, on my own route, at a time of my choosing 😄 Don't think I'd be out of bed in time for park run 😴 We are pretty good at meal planning though - I know what you mean about exercise not being enough on its own 😏 That'll be out of the window at the end of the week when we go away of course - the delights of Italian food and wine all the way! 😋 The diet can be reinstated when we get back... 🙄

Congratulations @edidxb that's wonderful news!

Welcome @Dianebz1 - sorry for your loss. It really is great that your DP's work gave him a day off and acknowledged him like that.

@terriwrist URGH BV is the worst. Hope it clears up for you really soon.

AF arrived for me on Friday (a day after a BFN, naturally), so I have booked my first appt with the doctor (after having been TTC for 10 months). Any advice on anything specific to ask for at a first appt?! I am trying to learn as much as I can, obviously, but any advice would be gratefully received.

It makes me feel oddly better to know that I am going to engage the help of Science, I think I know what you mean about the pressure being a bit relieved, @BambiOnIce80.

@79andnotout I know what you mean about the diet thing - am literally googling "what to eat while TTC" whilst simultaneously inhaling a Twix.

Just popping in to catch up on the news. Congrats on the BFPs and sorry to hear about the BFNs...

@79andnotout haven't read the entire thread but think you're also getting OH involved with the healthy eating? One thing I learnt through lots of research is that the man being in good health is just as important, so sounds like a good thing. Zinc is supposed to boost sperm counts and also sperm health too, I had my partner on zinc and maca root powder before we got our BFP. Also, we were using Tesco fertility gel that fateful month!

Fingers crossed everyone gets their BFPs soon. I've got my 12 week scan tomorrow so keeping fingers crossed for that and hoping I won't be back here after all...

@Chelonia @LeonieKate thank you for welcoming me Iv still not had a chance to read through everything yet but I will catch up later on and I'm looking forward to chatting to you all and sharing our experiences.

@79andnotout thanks for sharing with us, I'm very anxious about it because Iv read so many bad experiences. How long ago did you get it done? It sounds very promising that maybe something was in the way, hopefully it might have cleared you tubes now  I definitely think it's a procedure worth getting done. My sister had endometriosis, she's 16 years older than me because I was a late baby ..my mum had me at nearly 40. Sadly my sister went through tones of IVF with no luck. I was a young teenager at the time and I feel I can now totally sympathise with her and what she went through (well not fully as I have my 2 DS) but I understand a bit better now what she went through more than I did back then ..if you know what I mean! It's so sad, she's in her middle 50's now but her and her DH would have made fantastic parents. She been the best auntie my boys could ever have asked for, she was present at my both my births and was always really involved with everything ..I never had a problem getting a babysitter when I needed one that's for sure. I still feel so sad for her, she eventually got everything removed when she was 38 ..she was in so much pain all the time and the IVF was just a constant let down every time ..I think you can only take so much and then it starts effecting you so bad that you have to say enough is enough.

Lovely to hear from you @Noodella18! 😊 Very exciting that your 12 week scan is here! Keeping everything crossed for a smooth scan and a lovely scan picture 🤞🏻🍀 Am I right in thinking that @Melamine must be due for the 12 week scan too?

@LeonieKate forewarned is definitely forearmed with some GP's, so definitely wise to read up as much as you can 👍 The kind of things they ask are if your periods are regular and what's their average length. This'll help them decide whether you get standard or more in depth CD0-5 bloods (despite my periods being regular my GP still asked for the more in depth tests because I mentioned the bleeding had got a lot lighter than it used to be and the whole vaginal dryness thing 🙄 She then wanted to exclude perimenopause). It's good to calculate when CD21 is for you this cycle before you get in there so that you can book your progesterone bloods whilst you're at it (to check that you're ovulating).

I guess that the important thing to be aware of is that the NICE fertility investigation guidance says that ladies 36 years or older who have been TTC for at least 6 months should be offered investigations, so don't let them fob you off with waiting for another couple of months for a year to come round! If they know you've done your reading and what investigations you should be offered (just CD0-5 & 21 bloods for you and SA for DP at this stage), they'd be hard pushed not to request them for you 😉 Hope this helps and please let me know how you get on.x

Talking of bloods, I've just picked up my printed report. Remind me which levels you were wanting to compare and contrast @79andnotout? 💉

@Bambi just a quiet week with a few easy plans, finished off with watching the Rugby sat, not that I’m into sport, I just tag along for the atmosphere and a few drinks!
Oo lovely, I’m sure you will get things done, do you need to travel far for The visit?

@Noodella18 wow 12 weeks, time does fly. Good luck for tomoz xx

@Dianbz1 hello and welcome. Sorry to hear you last news. Sending positive thoughts your way and lots of luck to follow.

All this exercise talk is making me feel guilty for not yet getting off my backside and going for it. Especially with a quiet week planned 🤔. I need to just get that first day out the way.

So I think me and DP are relatively balanced eaters, including the good stuff through the week and treats over the weekend. I have started taking some vitimins D, C iron and zinc, oh and folic acid. Does anyone have any other recommendations? I’m feeling the fight this week!

Hi girls, wow new thread and is already so long! Pleased about the BFP and sorry to hear about the BFN and CP.

Had my AF 11 days ago and this time only had spotting for 1 day so means complex B vitamin is working so will carry on with it. Also I found an amazing acupuncture lady near me and had an appointment this afternoon. I explained to her about my spotting, ttc and my extreme cold hands and feet (all year round not only in the winter). It was a great appointment she took my pulse on both wrists and apparently you can tell if whether or not ovulation has happened 😳. At the end of the consultation she told me because my periods are regular and my spotting has improved with the vitamins there is very little for me to benefit from acupuncture but if I wanted to I could have a session there and then. I went for it and it was a great feeling really enjoyed it but better still it made me think that perhaps I should try not to worry so much as not even acupuncture can help me 🙈😁🤔