35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

Wow, so many new people! Welcome!

I'm feeling quite stressed because I got a call this morning that our Harmony retest failed. This doesn't mean that there is definitely something wrong with the baby, but it does increase the odds. Our NT scan was also on the high end of normal, so that wasn't as reassuring as I had hoped. Obviously I'm worried about my age as well, even though older women go on to have healthy babies!

So now I'm sitting here each day hoping that I won't get a phone call from the NHS saying that we are high risk. And instead hoping for a letter saying we are low-risk in a week or so.

@Kescilly - google says it can fail if you have a lot of blood, ie taller or bigger than normal. Fingers crossed the NHS call is good. Stressful times.

Welcome all the new folk!

Sounds stressful @kescilly - do you get a refund? Could you try another clinic or do you think it would be the same anywhere? Fingers crossed for the NHS letter. Welcome newbies and continued luck to everyone.

@tiniestsky just wanted to say I too had a mc the first time when I was 36. Now 37 & 15 weeks tomorrow so there’s plenty of hope! 😊 x

Hello to all the newbies

I can definitely relate about preferring furry beasts over babies lol. It’s worried me a bit and made me think i’m a bit odd. This thread is so reassuring! When one of my workmates brought her newborn to work, everyone was cooing over the baby and wanting to hold her. That’s just not me I was the exact opposite when another friend brought in her new puppy. I do love the toddler stage though as they’re so much fun at that age.

Please don’t worry @Kescilly Fingers crossed that everything is absolutely fine x

I'm another that is quite attached to my cat! I buy things for people's pets more than their babies. The pets always get forgotten once a baby arrives and it makes me so sad.

Thanks for the well-wishes, ladies. We are getting a refund and I had thought maybe we could do something relaxing with a portion of it. But the boiler has been acting up today so it might need to go towards that instead.

No call from the NHS today, so that's a good day. We have friends coming up to spend Thanksgiving weekend with us so hopefully that will distract me a bit.

@Melamine, 15 weeks! How are you feeling?

@PixieN you could be my sister from another mister! 😂 I'm exactly the same when colleagues bring in their new babies! They try to make me hold it (aka "have a cuddle") and I'm like "no, no, I'm good thanks 👍" 😬 On the other hand, one of my colleagues brought in their 10 week old puppy purely so I could coo over it 🤣 I'm told you feel differently when it's your own (I bloody hope so, anyway!).

So sorry that this harmony test has put you through the ringer @Kescilly 😔💐 Spending the refund on a treat sounds like an excellent idea (if the boiler doesn't thwart you 😕). Happy thanksgiving for tomorrow 🦃

Haha @BambiOnIce I don’t even get colleagues trying to make me hold babies. I must look really uncomfortable lol 😳😂 Maybe it’s to do with the fact they’re so tiny when they’re babies. I’ve heard you feel differently when it’s your own too 😁

Forgot to say in my last post, that I finally set up the fertility monitor - day 1 today. I had DH pouring over the instruction manual last night. He’s the science geek in our relationship - he was really interested in it all 😁

Morning all

Sorry you've had so much worry @Kescilly, I hope you get your nhs letter

Had a chat with DH last night and he's happy we've taken a step forward because they'll find out what the issue is and fix it. I had to explain to him that it doesn't necessarily work like that and some people have no reason and it's unexplained infertility. He struggled to get his head round that. I sometimes wish I didn't know so much as I'm feeling very pessimistic knowing that we still might have no answers. But trying not to dwell on any of that - my brain is just overactive and I think too much!

Hope everyone has a lovely Friday. We're off to play badminton later and seeing a band tomorrow evening, it's nice to have things to look forward to 😊

@VenusStarr, so pleased DP is on board 👍 Sorry you're feeling down though 💐 Try not to worry about what you don't know yet. I absolutely agree that not finding an issue known to medical science is a total head f🤬🤬k, but IVF is still known to work for those cases so at least there's hope 🍀

How's the fertility monitor going @PixieN? I'm thinking about returning to the IC OPK's this cycle myself 🤔 Partly because I bulk bought about a gizzillion of them and they're taking up space in the cupboard, but mostly because I'm away for work at the first half of next week - which is also fertile week 😕 I'd rather know if I've definitely ovulated whilst I'm away and I'm therefore out for the month. Then I can eat, drink and be merry for the rest of the month, safe in the knowledge that I'm out anyway... every cloud and all that 😉

Hi everyone, been lurking for a bit

@Kescilly fingers crossed for your NHS letter!

I had a BFP this morning! It was a Clear Blue and said 1-2 weeks, so I am tentatively ...

wow, congratulations @LeonieKate! Fingers crossed for an uneventful pregnancy!

@VenusStarr - unexplained basically just means it's too expensive to figure out exactly what's wrong (daily blood tests and scans would cost a bomb) and IVF fixes lots of potential issues in one go so works out cheaper in lots of cases than actually working out the cause of the issue. That's my take on it anyway.

Also much rather furry things than babies. I guess that's probably why most of us are only getting around to this later in life - it's never really looked that appealing!

Fertile week here for me. One shag down so far. About four to go!

@LeonieKate congratulations! :)

Stopped taking my pill 5 weeks ago hoping to conceive, not had a withdrawal bleed or a period yet which is a bit worrying (more the lack of withdrawal bleed as always had one before when changing contraception)

I’m 37, partner already has 2 kids from a previous relationship so worrying I’ve left it late - but only met him when I was 34

Told myself I’d let nature take its course and not obsess over it, but I think it’s already too late for that. Not helped by all the symptoms coming off the pill has caused in me with the hormonal changes which constantly has my partner suggesting I’m pregnant - when I don’t think I’ve even ovulated yet!

No cats here, 2 slightly crazy spaniels instead

Evening ladies. Hope all are welll. Well I’ve been waiting for this day all week and who’s have guessed... I’m feeling like utter shit. I think cold and flu season has got me 🙁. But stuff it I’m still trying a wine!

Hello newbies 👍 🤞 you get some luck soon.

@Kescilly 🤞 for your nhs letter. Try not to stress to much about the unknown (easier said I know), I’m forever the pessimist so I’m hardly one to talk.

@BambiOnIce80 I hate the inbetween phase of waiting..... Something is happeneing but still to soon to move it along! 🤞 You get your letter soon 🤞.
What is IC OPK?

Amazing @LeoniKate Congratulations xx

@79andnotout haha good luck for FW 🤞.

@Trying81 I’ve been off the pill since May and only had 3 periods since. But I think (well hope) they are beginning to regulate a little now as my last to cycles were 40 days. My body went and I think
Maybe still
Is going through some crazy changes since stopping the pill. It’s made me never want to start it back up again.

Greetings @Pinkywoo @VenusStarr @Tiniestsky @Trying81 (hope i haven't missed anyone out!)
Congratulations @LeonieKate!
Crikey. Dont log on for a few days and it takes a long time to catch up!!
Hope everyone's well. @kescilly 🤞
I'm well into tww myself just now. Only managed 1x dtd this time cos we were staying at my mums last weekend, plus the car broke down on the m6 so that wiped out friday night! (Its ok, but im thinking of trading it in).
Im just hoping that HyCoSy has increased my fertility like the hsg scan is meant to. All going well I can test on Dec 1st according to fertility friend app.
Got my next appointment at ACS on tuesday. Presumably for the doc to tell me im too big to do anything (Bmi is just over 30). Ive really struggled with losing weight recently. With all the family issues & travelling up & down to my parents, its been so difficult. I just pay £5 a week to slimming world for the banter i think! Most you here are lovely & slim, i need to start channelling you!!

Thanks Carley321 - I’m the same, makes you realise how much the contraceptive hormones affect you. Told my DP that if we manage to have a baby then he can have the snip rather than me go on them again!

I’ve changed contraception a few times over the years and always had a withdrawal bleed between, I’m hoping it’s just the progesterone in this one which has caused me not too, and not my age

Hi CNizzle, my BMI is 27.5 - just checked it. I need to lose some myself, but it’s so hard the older I get. Hopefully cutting down on wine while trying to conceive will hell

Help*

Trying to have a quick catch up on the thread as have been helping my parents move.

Hello to all the new people 👋🏻

@Kescilly no need is good news 🍀 I have been thinking of you.

@LeonieKate congratulations 😁

@79AndNotOut 1 down 4 to go 😂 good luck and Godspeed 😉

@PixieN I love my monitor, the first month, I was excited to get up and POAS, but by the second month when I had to pee on 20 sticks, I was bit jaded with it all and became quite confused one night when I got up to pee, remembered I should be using a piss pot, worked out it was a bit before the testing window and went to bed and got told off by OH for leaving a pot of cold wee fermenting on the side of the bath. Do let us know how you get on.

Having a weird old month, I ovulated 6 days late according to cbfm but I think I also ovulated very early on after my cp.

Given that the (possibly second) ovulation was so late I’d have expected to start my period on or around 1st of December, but I noticed some weird lumpy discharge on Thursday with the tiniest streak of blood, about 10dpo, followed by some light brown discharge yesterday, which I think has darkened today, my usual period would arrive on Monday, so I am not sure if I am out or not because that would mean a significant shortening of my luteal phase, which as far as I have read, would be very unusual.

Symptom wise, I have been doing my best to ignore it but I have had very sore armpits, at one point I was wondering if it might be Mumps!!! And now achy boobs sort of behind the nipple.

I am determined not to test, but it’s difficult when I don’t know when my period is actually really due.

Hello ladies, hopefully a quick question!

I'm using Clear Blue opks this month for first time, and I use Natural Cycles app to track everything. With the cheap opks you're either positive or negative so I could record that in the app (well, always negative ). For two days I've had the flashing smiley on the CBs. Is that considered a positive? Or is it only a positive when it's the static smiley?

If you use cbs how do you record them?

@pattyhoo Are you using the Clear Blue Advanced OPKs? If yes, the flashing smileys are high fertility and solid smiley is peak fertility. I don't use Natural Cycles, but Fertility Friend has a 'Monitor/Advanced OPK' field which I use to record the flashing/solid smiley.

Congratulations @LeonieKate! 🎉🎉🎉

I hope you're appointment goes OK @CNizzle. I'm hoping that 1DTD + 1HSG = 1BFP! 🤞🏻🍀

Welcome @Trying81 👋 As @Carley321 says, it's sadly not unusual for those coming off the pill to have their cycles well and truly mess them about 😔 Fingers-crossed that you'll get into a rhythm soon 🤞🏻

@Carley321 it's Internet cheapy ovulation tests (the really basic but functional ones off amazon 😉). Sorry snot season has gotten you 😟💐 I'm sure alcohol helps kill viruses though 🍾🥂😜

Been thinking of you @MrsRRC - sounds like you've been busy again! I see what you mean about it being tricky working out when AF is due after the CP whilst trying to keep away from the sticks. I hope AF stays away for you 🤞🏻

Good luck on making the most of FW @79andnotout 🍀

@pattyhoo, I'm not a CB user, but my understanding is that the static smiley is the BFP... not sure you can log the flashing smiley's 🤔 I guess that would be like logging that the IC OPK's are getting darker, but not dark enough to be BFP - the apps sadly don't lend themselves to it.

So. Went out to a trendy but tiny new place for dinner last night and was discussing the plan for today with DP: preliminary pre-fw shag in the morning, finish odd jobs around the house, trip to the tip to get rid of the junk and then pop into one of the local rescue centres to talk cats (we'd been discussing the former all week, so it was no surprise to him) . DP then proclaims that he doesn't want a pet until we've exhausted all our options trying for a kid... Trendy bijoux restaurants aren't the nicest place to end up in tears. I felt a right twat! 😢 And now DP has fucked off to play video games before I woke up rather than DTD, which is probably just as well as currently I'd rather kick him in the nuts than shag him 😤

Ahh I'm sorry @BambiOnIce80, I've burst into tears in various pubs and restaurants over the last year, felt like a right twat! He'll come round, men's brains are just weird and ultra practical.

Bloody men!

Go to the rescue centre anyway @BambiOnIce80. That's what I'd do.

Thanks @Pinkywoo and @79andnotout 💖 He knows he's in deep 💩 because he's stepped away from the computer and has been running round tidying instead (experience tells him that this is a sure fire way to appease me). It has worked to an extent - there may be shagging this evening!

DP thinks we should still go to a shelter tomorrow and see if there's anything that doesn't make me wheeze. I personally don't see the point, but I may be a slightly crafty bitch and go anyway just in case there's something there that he falls in love with and can't leave behind! 😬