35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

Hi ladies just checking in I seem to have dropped off the notifications so missed a few days. I had indoor cats until last year when we had to say goodbye to our last one. We decided to give it a break before getting another cat as we had had our two for over 14 years. They didn't really miss going out and did venture into our fairly enclosed garden when we were outside too.

Nothing much to report here 10 weeks tomorrow. Tired and nauseous but otherwise feeling OK. Just over 2 weeks to our scan really want to know what is happening in there but holding my nerve (just).

Hi @Blondcat. It's good to hear from you - I was wondering how you were getting on. It must be stressful, especially given your previous MC, but it all sounds like it's going smoothly and uneventfully which is exactly what you want x

@Oxted2018 I think that they are difficult in different ways, and it depends on how much you've gone through. And everyone's experience is so different. I wasn't TTC for as long as some, but I went through a divorce and didn't know if I'd ever have someone to even try to have a family with. And it wasn't like I could join infertility forums or anything for support. But yes, it does seem like there's always something to worry about!

Is AF still staying away?

It is still staying away so far. But have just started getting some cramps so suspect she may arrive tomorrow x

Hi, mind if I join in? I'm 38, only met DP at 35, and have just come off the pill. I had three big dermoid cysts removed from my right ovary in January but in all of the scans I've had since they can't find the ovary. Either it didn't survive the surgery or is now so small it isn't visible, I also have a dermoid and a simple cyst on the left, but am putting off surgery to ttc our first as the consultant says it's now or never!

Glad everything is going well @Blondcat 😊 That 12 week scan is just around the corner!

Welcome @Pinkywoo 👋 Crikey, there's nothing quite like a doc saying "it's now or never" to really focus the mind, is there?! Keeping everything crossed for you that your left ovary will be taking care of business and you won't be TTC for long 🤞🏻

CD5 here and I think I'm experiencing that complete lack of interest in TTC that you've mentioned before @79andnotout when AF is around 🙄 I'm all about the cat search at the moment! So. Here's my worry - I'm stupid amounts of excited about the prospect of a cat, but when AF has been a day late and I'm feeling crap I'm never excited. At. All. 😕 Anxious and freaking out that I may get a BFP and certainly a bit tentatively optimistic, but never excited... I don't know that it's because I've been trying for so long that I don't get exited about the prospect of a baby or whether it's much more simple than that. Maybe I'm only trying because "the biological clock is ticking" and deep down I'm not really that up for the whole child rearing thing... Yep. Didn't expect this level of existential crisis from looking into buying a cat 😹

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 it did freak me out slightly! He has also booked me in for fertility tests in six months so I don't have to wait for a referral, but fingers crossed I won't need them.

@BambiOnIce that is some deep thinking when trying to decide on a furry friend.
If it helps I am a little similar..... I have a period where all I want is a baby but the majority of the time I’m living on the edge of my nerves thinking what if it actually happened, how would I cope, what would I have to change about my life, will DP think of me in the same way after going through such a dramatic change, will he stop loving me or even fancying me, can I really go 9 months without wine (or even just the Xmas period), how would it work, could I still work, would I be skint? So many thoughts run through my head and then, for that little period throughout the process I can’t imagine growing old without children, or the fact that it may just be me and DP for all eternity 🤔. It’s quite frankly... a mind fuck!

Hi @pinkywoo 😊 xx

Can I join you guys? Been lurking for a while but took time out from posting. I'm 35, DH is 36 and been trying for 12 months. We've got an appointment with the GP tomorrow morning. I'm petrified that something is wrong but at the same time I'm scared we'll not have a baby without help. We got married earlier this year and had started trying a few months before the wedding. Feel really sad it's not happened so far. My mood has completely crashed and I'm really struggling to motivate myself. I have short cycles, cd6 today and I'll be in fertile week by the weekend.

I have 2 indoor cats (told you I've been lurking!) they are very much fair weather cats, they like the garden but no chance of them going out in this weather! And now the heating is on, no lap cuddles either

Oooh, it sounds like you've got a good doc there @Pinkywoo 👍 I love a plan for the "if nothing's happened by this time, then this is what we're going to do... " 😊

Thanks @Carley321 💖 The wine thing is most definitely a major consideration for me too!! 🥂😉 Still, I know come Saturday I'll be beckoning DP into the fertile window and off we go again... cycle 49 😏

Always room for one more @VenusStarr 💐 Love the name by the way (I have a thing about stars✨ 🤩). If it's any consolation, I'd been trying with my ex for 12 months before we went to the docs and had investigations and they couldn't find anything wrong so there's every chance you'll find the same. I find it comforting getting into the system (to have a plan) and sharing experiences with these lovely ladies is one hell of a help.x

Hiya @Carley321

@BambiOnIce80 yes he's really good, I was expecting to have to be a pain in the arse (I became an expert when trying to get the cysts diagnosed!) so very lucky compared to some of the stories I've read on here. I've not told DP that will include sperm checks yet, we'll see what happens first but he gets embarrassed talking about stuff in front of the doctor, he grew up in Sicily with no sex education in schools!

Thank you for the welcome @BambiOnIce80 I love stars too - find it really relaxing just staring up at the night sky :) I feel better for having taken the step of booking an appointment. I might need to adjust my expectations of what will happen next - I started a thread on what to expect. Someone replied saying that the GP did a fertility referral and they had to wait 7 months to see someone! Will see what happens tomorrow. It helps to know others are going through similar - even though it's crap, it's nice to have people who get it x

My DP is Italian too @Pinkywoo 🇮🇹😀 He's been very up for all the doctor stuff, but the thought of IVF has been a bit of a challenge to get his head round... Catholic upbringing has meant for him that he previously saw IVF as something that shouldn't be considered because clearly we're not meant to have kids - he's atheist now which has adjusted his opinion drastically, but it took some time. Really looking forward to hearing how you get on tomorrow 🍀

@VenusStarr, it is a bit of a post code lottery, unfortunately 🙄 That said - everyone should be singing from the same hymn sheet (aka. The NICE guidelines). So, as a minimum, you should be offered CD0-5 and CD21 bloods and DP should be offered SA. If you get any resistance from them, stay calm and just say you've read the NICE guidelines and you know you should be offered the latter at this stage. It'll at least get the ball rolling.x

Thank you @BambiOnIce80 that's really helpful re nice guidance. Is the cd21 blood test 7 days before period or 7 days after ovulation? I have shorter cycles so will need to have cd21 test early I think. I believe I have a 12 day luteal phase x

@VenusStarr the CD21 bloods should be 7 days before AF is due (so not necessarily CD21 because loads of us don't have 28 day cycles!). It measures progesterone to see if you're likely to have ovulated or not - which is good to know 😉

After the bloods and the SA then it's likely that you'd be off to the ACU for an HSG (contrast media scan to check all your reproductive bits are where they should be and nothing's blocked) and an intrauterine ultrasound to check your ovaries and endometrial lining... you'll notice that this is all on us and our DP gets away with just the SA 😏

Lovely, thank you @BambiOnIce80. Good to go in armed with knowledge. I'm fully expecting to leave my dignity at the door once we start down the investigations path. Its definitely more intrusive for us! Thank you x

Hey ladies, just stumbled across this post so thought I'd drop in, hope that's ok. I'm 36 and had what I think is my first mc with my first pregnancy nearly 2 weeks ago, need to wait a week to confirm for sure... but I know :(
Waiting for my tests to show up negative, which is something I didn't think I'd hear myself say but am terrified of what will happen if there is no baby and still a positive :(

@BambiOnIce80 DP is atheist now too but catholicism is so ingrained in Sicily (don't know if the mainland is the same?) that he sometimes struggles with how different it is here, he's only been in the UK for four years.

So AF is here with a vengeance, I took the last pill last Friday (6 days ago) so lets hope my ovary is waking up!

@VenusStarr fingers crossed your doctor is a good one

Thank you @Pinkywoo. He did seem good and didn't fob us off. He's referred DH for semen analysis. I've got the forms for cd1-5 and cd21 bloods. Can get the progesterone done this cycle, will have to do the early one next cycle, which is still before Christmas so that's OK. Got to have triple swabs (?) and been referred for an ultrasound. Our area funds one cycle of ivf, if we need to go that far. Feel better for taking this step.

Sorry to hear AF is in full force, but a new chance :)

Sorry to hear that @Tiniestsky

Hope everyone else is OK x

I would normally say sorry for AF turning up @Pinkywoo, but seems you've just come off the pill this is one of those rare circumstances where AF rocking up is actually a good thing! 😂 I hope your cycle kicks back into rhythm quickly 🤞🏻 On the subject of the Italian DP's, yeah, his family are all massive church goers. They were pretty shocked that I'm not religious at all, but they're still really lovely and accepting of me (don't know what they'll think if I do manage to get pregnant out of wedlock though! 😱😂).

Very glad your doc was a good'un @VenusStarr 😊

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time @Tiniestsky 😔💐

I know it probably sounds silly to all of you that have been trying for ages, but I've dreaded AF arriving although I was on the pill. I've been desperate to start ttc for over a year but had to wait for the all clear from the doctor after the operation, so now it all feels very real 😱

Hello and welcome to the new people :-)

@Bambi - I totally relate to feeing more excited about pets than babies! I am a bit obsessed with my dog (he is very handsome!) and I'm not sure a baby would be as great....

Having said that, AF rocked up yesterday (a very rude 2 days late) and I was really quite disappointed. There is just no pleasing us.

Still, it means I can crack on and get my day 1-5 bloods done. This was arranged for today so I don't need to rearrange it. Thick question but what is the ACU?! I don't really know what happens now. My doctor didn't seem to feel the need for day 21 bloods (and my ultrasound on Monday confirmed that I have ovulated anyway) so I guess I just wait to see what the blood tests reveal...

I keep thinking today is Friday and then being disappointed!

I woke up this morning and had that exact same sinking feeling @Oxted2018 - it's only Thursday! 😨 Sorry AF turned up (but congratulations on the handsome dog! 😍 I'm hoping that DP is caving a bit and might at least be up for "having a chat" with a rescue centre this weekend 🤞🏻).

The ACU is the assisted conception unit. I'm still waiting on my first appointment letter (and it's still T-21 before I can legitimately ring them and harass them for it! 😕).