35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

Oh @Russkispy so sorry to hear that 💐

Fingers crossed IVF works for you swiftly.

Thanks ladies.

@Quantum Oo yes please, let us know.
@Bambi haha, what kind and generous offer DP has for you 😂, very inventive indeed!

No way could I temp though. My sleep pattern isn’t stable enough. 🙈. I have a fitbit which reads heart rate, what a shame it doesn’t read my temp 🙁. Do you wear the bracelets only at night?

Maybe il give 1 more month of the cbs and cheapy opks before investing 🤔.

@MrsRRC I had a teeny tiny black dot (mole or whatever you want to call it) removes from my lower eyelid earlier this year. All was fine.

I am not enjoying the ageing process at all. I have more moles, tags bloody random spots and dots than I’ve ever known. Along with the tired eyes and ever lasting hair loss. Pain in the bloody arse I say! Lol.

Sorry about the spelling mistakes. But I’m sure you get the just of it! Lol

@Carley321, I hear you on the aging thing! Bloody skin tags popping up all the time! 🙄 That ava link I put up also has something in there about how heart rate can be an indicator of your fertile window, so maybe you've already got data at your finger tips that you never even knew was useful?! 😄 If I remember correctly, I think it's supposed to go up a bit and stay up if you get pregnant, but come back down a bit if AF is on it's way. Might be worth a read though to make sure I'm not mis-remembering it 🤔

@BambiOnIce80 @Carley321 I'm a huge nerd and plotted out three cycles of my RHR data from my Fitbit. Since my cycles are irregular, I centered the data with my suspected ovulation dates as predicted by my CBFM. You can see a general trend of it increasing toward ovulation and dropping, although it often increased again before AF. It would always fall before and during AF.

i.imgur.com/z5wetPv.jpg

When I got my BFP, it stayed elevated but then began to fall when I was around 5 weeks. It kept dropping until it was near AF levels and it stressed me out because I thought maybe I was miscarrying. I took the Fitbit off so I wouldn't worry about it. I put it back on a week or so ago and I'd say my RHR is a bit elevated but not at my highest levels.

I'm loving it for the pretty colours alone @Kescilly! 😍 Quite excited now about my Christmas present I'm not supposed to know about 😄

Can you tell I was having fun with it? 😂

I'm excited about your Christmas present too!

Quick update from me. I had my blood redrawn today for the Harmony test because they weren't able to get enough fetal DNA with the original sample. I'm disappointed, but it's just one of those things. The upside is that she did another quick scan and I was able to see our little one wriggling about!

We are telling my in-laws tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous. My twelve week NHS scan is on Monday and we are doing the NT testing since we don't know if we will have results from the Harmony test.

Try not to be nervous about the 12 week scan @Kescilly. Keeping everything crossed that there'll be nothing to worry about 🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀

AF arrived for me yesterday. Now just counting down the days to start clear blue opk's and hope I find when I ovulate...

Sorry to hear that @pattyhoo 💐 Hoping the CB's clarify your ov pattern for you 🤞🏻

I'm out too 🙄 On the brightside, I definitely know the signs from my body pretty damn well. I thought I ovulated early at CD13 (due to left sided ov pains) and AF has indeed rocked up early on CD27 when she's usually CD28/29. Who needs OPK's?! 😂

The other brightside of course is that I haven't wasted a FRER and there will definitely be matching wine with tonight's fancy meal! 🍾🥂 Happy weekend everyone! 😂

@BambiOnIce80 your DP's idea is genius! He should work for Love Honey! I agree with him that tracker and the website looks rubbish but I'm still on a quest for a tracker with thermometer and heart rate. Ovia is not only expensive but the geeks at work will ask questions about it and I don't really want to tell them what this is for and why it looks so different from the other trackers. AF also got me yesterday, it's now been 6 months since I stopped the mini pill and I am starting to lose hope the silver lining is that my period is textbook regular. The £5 saved on the frer will be re-invested on a nice bottle of champers because this time I need a good cheering up 🥂

I'd absolutely go for that one @QuantumGirl if it wasn't for DP already having ordered me a fitness tracker for Christmas (he thought he'd done really well because I was whinging that my phones fitness log is 💩 for tracking my runs and I needed something more accurate to motivate me... and then I moved the goal posts about temp monitoring without telling him 😬). I'd go for it if I were you - at £33 I think it's worth it 👍 Sorry you're out too 💐 There seems to be quite a few of us with cycles lining up! My cycles are crazy regular and ovulation seems to be too - I just can't get pregnant 😔 I'm hoping my ACU appointment comes through in the next 4 weeks so it at least gives me a ray of hope to focus on 🤞🏻

Totally random non-TTC question, if I may? 😬 I know there's quite a few cat owners on here, so could anyone give me some advice about how you go about sourcing and buying a kitten?! I've grown up with dogs, so I'd know what to do with a puppy (see it with the mother, make sure it's not farmed, make sure it's vaccinated, dew claws, etc) - is it near enough the same with kittens?! Just to add a complicating factor, I'm quite horribly allergic to most cats so I'd need to visit the 'hypoallergenic' breeds first to see if they set me off or not... Who the hell is going to be willing to let a random into their home to see if their cat makes them wheeze or not?!?! I just don't know where to start 😕

I adopted my cat in the US so I don’t think I can be much help there. But I am allergic to everything besides cats, so I have a few tips! My first one is to invest in air purifiers, especially in the bedroom. It’s made a huge difference to my quality of life. Try to keep the cat out of the bedroom and your bed since that’s one of the worst places for allergies. Also your clothes, don’t fuss over the cat in something that you’re about to go to bed in. Something as simple as sitting under a blanket could minimize all the cat hair that they seem to generate endlessly.

I’d you take pills, make sure you take them regularly and before you need them, as it gives them time to work.

@Bambi I recommend Cornish or Devon Rex cats for allergies. My mum was quite allergic and had no issues with them so we had a lovely Rex growing up! You could find a reputable breeder via the Rex Cat Club. They’re also brilliant, affectionate cats!

Thanks for the advice @Kescilly and @Melamine 💖 I try to take loratadine before I go anywhere near a cat, but I'd never thought about air purifiers - excellent tip, thank you!

I used to have curly-coated retrievers, so the thought of a curly cat really does appeal 😻 DP is keen on the idea of a Russian blue though... finding breeders nearby-ish is going to be the tricky bit.

Just catching up with the thread. Ooohhh cats 😻😻😻 I would try to go for a rescue if you can @BambiOnIce as so many lovely cats & kittens are abandoned. My friend’s boyfriend is allergic and he is strangely fine with her longhaired cat. Not the case with short hair though - not sure why 🤷‍♀️ I’ve got two fur babies and now one of our neighbour’s cats keeps visiting us too. I would have another three if DH let me lol 😂 Good idea @kescilly not to let them in the bedroom. That’s our fur free place & DH’s sanctuary 😁

You ladies are all so tiny - you’ve definitely inspired me to start running again as i’ve got 2 stones to shift. I’ve already lost a stone, but that took me ages - it doesn’t help that I really love food. I went for a very slow jog this morning which is a start.

Sorry to hear about the AFs - mine is due in 5 days. Going to go for it in December and try out the CB monitor.

Good luck with your scan @Kescilly and good luck with IVF @Russkispy Fingers crossed for us all 🤞 💕

I've just got more ivf info through and they say minimum bmi in my region is 20, so I'm guessing below 20 and you might not have enough fat to make enough oestrogen etc. My bmi is 23 but I was aiming for 20 with all this exercise I'm doing. Might reduce that to 21 instead.

Also got our cats and dogs from rescues, there are so many needing homes! If you go that way you can always take them home for a couple of weeks and see how allergic you are, and try another if you are. The centres are very amenable to that kind of thing. Might be less risk..,

Thanks a lot for all the advice ladies 💖 Think we will try the nearby rescue centres as a starting point and take it from there 👍 Was discussing it with DP over our swanky meal out last night and he's now getting cold feet on the idea of getting a cat because of the 'huge responsibility' 😕 I said "you do realise we're trying for a kid, right?!" 🧐 Apparently "that's different"! 🤨 His main issue is the litter tray and the issue of making it a house cat because we live next to a rat run of a road. Does anyone else keep their cats in and does it work out OK?

Excellent work on the jogging @PixieN! I dragged myself out yesterday for the first time post holiday and my calves really know about it this morning 😣

Exciting stuff that you're IVF info is starting to come through @79andnotout! Have you got a time line yet? It's 4 weeks since I sent my paperwork off to get our first ACU appointment and I've not heard anything yet 😒 Reading the info sheet it says not to ring them unless you haven't had your appointment through within 8 weeks, so it looks like I've got to sit on my hands and be patient for another month! 🙁

Hello all. I’ve been taking a little Mumsnet break as I hoped it might help remove some of the TTC craziness! And I think it helped a bit but I missed you all 😊

@Bambi, I went to the doctors following my crazy month last time where I had two periods in 4 weeks. She was really nice and has booked me in for a scan and day 3 bloods despite the fact we have not been trying that long ( we’ve really been trying since May but I said since March as that’s when I has done my coil out) so I feel pleased that at least things are happening.

I’m currently 9dpo and think I did at least catch one or two good days around ovulation with some very unsexy and functional dtd. No symptoms at all and think I’m due on tomorrow or Tues so we will see.

I do have the Ava. To be honest, I forget to use it / charge it sometimes so, to date, it hasn’t been that helpful but that is my fault. However, there are various Ava Facebook groups that I have joined and a lot of people who use it religiously don’t seem that enthused and are questioning it’s value. Certainly, for a lot of people the Ovulation date given by Ava does not seem to tally with opks. So if you have found a cheaper option, I would definitely explore that first. X

Welcome back @Oxted2018! 💐 You were missed, but I totally get trying to knock off some of the TTC stress. This group is fantastic, but I guess being on it means that we're never far away from thinking (/obsessing! 🙄) about TTC. Sometimes we just need a break and some head space.

I'm so glad your doc sounds like a good one 😊 It is a relief when things start to get investigated and we feel like we might get some answers... or a plan at least! Hopefully your double AF cycle might be something straightforward to do with the craziness of time zones or something? Fingers-crossed for you this cycle 🍀

That's very interesting about the fb group feedback about the ava, especially as it's flipping pricey! Looks like @QuantumGirl is definitely onto something with the cheaper alternative 🤞🏻

Haha @BambiOnIce I’m taking it very easy today. My thighs were complaining this morning and it aches to walk.

We have a cat flap so the cats can come and go, and they never bother with a litter tray. They seem to stay away from the road, but I always worry - it’s pretty busy and two cats I know of (one stray and one belonging to the neighbours) have been run over since we’ve lived here 😢 I’ve spoken to DH about having cat fencing at some point. Some friends have it and it looks like a brilliant idea. It’s curved over at the top so the cats can’t get out, but they get some freedom and it keeps them safe. I love the fact that your DH is saying having a cat is a ‘huge responsibility’ compared to having a baby lol 😂

Welcome back @Oxted2018 I know what you mean about ttc craziness - sometimes it’s good to take a step back.

Just catching up 💕.

@BambiOnIce80 I’m excited for you prezzie too 👍. I’ve done a bit of research and you are right, heart-rate can infact go alongside other ways to confirm a fertile window and ovulation. So il be keeping my eye on that. How was your fancy meal? Nice wine I hope 👍.

@Kescilly ooo that is fab. Is it a separate app to the actual fitbit app? I can’t find it on my original fitbit app.

Incase any one fancies a look at the info i came across on heart rate and fertility.
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.livescience.com/59279-heart-rate-fertility-tracking.html

@Kescilly good luck with the 12 week scan. Try not to worry to much. Easier said I guess!

@PixieN being little isn’t always a good thing. I’d do anything for a bum and chunkier legs (I won’t go near a skirt unless abroad lol). Well done on the loss of a stone. I’m defo defo starting the gym next week (to destress if nothing else).

@BambiOnIce80 I can’t comment on the cat situation, we have 2 dogs 🙈 also DP is allergic too. But good luck with getting DP on board and picking the right one for you.

Welcome back @Oxsted2018 😊. We have been ttc since May too. And also thinking of booking the docs just to get some advice. I’m not completely happy with my surgery though, I’m yet to find a doctor I feel happy/ comfortable with.

@BambiOnIce80 my cat is an indoor cat for several reasons and he’s always been fine with that. We let him out in the garden now that we have a house and it’s surrounded by brick walls, but we only do this when we are out there too. I just don’t want to risk him getting lost or hurt. I think it’s partially a cultural difference between the US and the UK.

@Carley321 do you mean my chart? That was just me being a nerd and plotting things in Excel. The Fitbit app is great but won’t track based on your cycles. I only did it retroactively as I was curious.

@Oxted2028 welcome back! Hope the time away did you some good. :)

My cats are outdoor beasts. One of them just comes in for about fifteen minutes a day sometimes! One of them comes on walks when we walk the dog.
Good luck with the scan @Kescilly.

Good work in the weight loss @PixieN . I love my food too. I have to do a lot of exercise to counter the food and booze. My trainer has made me count calories and try to eat more protein, 1300 calories a day. It's not been that bad actually.

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 - yeah looking forward to getting on the ivf train - think it will be early next year or something. Fingers crossed I get pregnant before though, would save the nhs some cash!

@Russkispy sorry to hear about the bfn. Good luck in the ivf. Keep us informed how it's all going.

Can't believe you all have pet free bedrooms! We always have at least two pets in the bed at night whether we want them or not. I think our house is quite cold so they all pile in to the warm spots.