We're Still Gathered Round the Sacred Womble Conker for a Legendary BFP. Bring your Fur Babies, and Pray for Merely a Hint of Menses, it's Just Shagging (with science, sometimes) 55!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 54 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2474456-The-commune-is-gathering-for-a-sacred-BFP-We-are-worshipping-our-womble-conkers-and-admiring-penis-statues-but-were-still-remembering-to-jump-our-miroids-at-every-opportunity-Its-Just-Shagging-54" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2460633-Just-Mumming-8-the-one-with-the-fire-crawlers-wind-machines-and-the-Health-Visitor-revolt" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Gx kez!

Hooyah london!

Is 10dpo too soon to test? Might test fmu tomorrow....!

Ah gx kez!

YB I'm not sure, I got bfn today at 12dpo but that's probably because I'm not! I don't reckon it's ridiculously early though.

You can from 10 dpo YBS but its unreliable. So you might get a BFP at this point but equally you can can a BFN and still be preggers. I think the likelihood of detection is 60% or something at 10 dpo.

Gx either way!

I hope this is a good batch of testing for everyone.

London could you send me a link or pic or something of where you have that info, I'd find it really interesting and it might help me stop wanting to test early!

Its in the material for the pregnancy tests! It tells you the accuracy of the test depending on how many days before your missed period etc. So while it says you can test 5 days before your missed period (i.e. circa 10 days post ovulation for most people) it caveats that by saying the accuracy is circa 60% I think. Each day closer to missed AF the accuracy jumps, however, the 99% accuracy isn't achieved until the day of your missed period (AF one day late) for most of the tests.

personally i'd never test before 12dpo. Implantation generally happens between 5-8 dpo, but can be as late as 10dpo. The most sensitive pregnancy tests detect hcg after roughly 3 days of implantation, so if you do test at 10dpo you could, as london said, be pregnant but it not be picked up.

early testing is generally a bit of a minefield, the ideal time to test is 14dpo

Keep Here are some stats that match my memory of what it says in the box. I try not to test before the day AF is due. While you could get an early positive, something like 70% of conceptions end in a chemical pregnancy and get flushed out with an AF that is more or less on time. I think I'd find that harder than just waiting.

infertility.about.com/od/infertilitytesting/bb/pregnancy_test.htm

Ah of course it is! It's a while since I had a proper test instead of ic, I completely forgot. Thanks London, bit of a stupid moment there.

X post. Thanks London, going to have a proper read later.

Yeah, independent testing has show that the 99% even a day after AF is late isn't really true (closer to somewhere in the 80s). That's why I don't think anyone is out until AF arrives!

gx for everyone testing.

They only had clear blue

BFN.

not testing again now. Sick of wasting money. Just going to sit patiently and await the arrival (of AF, not a baby)

Sorry kez. But you're not out yet.

I've just been scaring myself on Google. I've not been feeling well lately and blood tests showed I have an iron count of 7. I didn't realise this was as low as it seems to be. I also didn't realise that low iron can cause difficulties conceiving and raises the risk of an unviable foetus if you do

Doc prescribed iron tablets but they caused horrendous constipation so I stopped taking them.

Anyone know anything about this?

So sorry kez you still never know.

YB I don't know much about it other than my dh's grandfather had to Aubrey a couple of blood transfusions because his got so low but he doesn't help himself by having a tantrum if vegetables go anywhere near his plate. Doesn't annoy me at all. I think you should go back to the docs and see if there's anything else they can prescribe or something to tackle the constipation at the same time? But definitely step away from dr Google in the mean time. That way madness lies.

Oof, YB that is low. Mine was 9.something after having the million or so tests after Tiny, and I've been on supplements ever since. I can't stand the tablets so I use Spatone, is much gentler. Not offering up any more of my blood until I'm upduffed again, so couldn't tell you how well it's working...

I like that article, London. Fits with my approach or it did until last month

Kez

Moving back in December sometime Jel. I'll stop griping now

YBS Like most women, I don’t get enough iron though I take a supplement as part of my pre-natal vitamins. If you want to avoid going back to the really strong stuff a couple of things that help with iron absorption are high amounts of Vitamin C and eliminating things with strong tannins (no tea, coffee or red wine among other things). I hope you can get your iron levels up.

Kez you aren't out yet! If AF still isn't around once you are a week late, why not take a FRER with FMU?

I have had low blood count since I was about 13 and have taken a low dose of iron in conjunction with b12 and folic acid ever since since adulthood I have rarely had my blood check on the occasions I have the lowest has been 10 except when I was pg and they had to increase the iron and put me on a slightly different one as they thought I might have to have injectables but it stabilised with higher dose last time I had it checked it was 12.9 so pretty much perfect I did suffer constipation with higher dose but never with low dose!

Okay this might sound like a bizarre question...

My usual cycles are 24-25 days long.... Does this mean there is a higher chance that I might show a positive LATER?

Also, according to a website based on the first day of my last cycle and going by an average cycle length of 25 days, I should have inplanted on/around 17th-19th and it says the best chance of a positive test is 18th-21st.

kez gx for a late bfp, not out til witch is here.

yb can you not up your prune intake whilst on tablets?

chat bit of a kick in the nethers that.

Anyone I've missed or as appropriate. Sorry if I have, reading back quickly.

Fc appointment was fine. Asked millions of questions about cycle, health, previous pregnancies etc. Did an examination (with a student and a nurse there too which was a lot of people all looking up my fanjo. Has given me blood test referral forms, wasn't bothered that I hadn't had them yet as would have redone anyway
Told me dildocammers would call me with an appointment soon and that a laparoscopy (?) was next step. Next appointment in 3 months.

Feeling really down about it all now. Hasn't made me feel better or more in control which I thought it would.

Kez it totally depends why your cycle is short. If you ovulate a but early (like me) and your lp is the standard 14 days give or take, then it shouldn't make any difference. This is usually why cycles are short.

If you have a short lp (which is more unusual) then yes, you would need to wait longer for a bfp as hcg will have been building for less time in your system (the total days post conception would be less at your AF due date).

Any idea when you iced?

*bit not but

No idea, I tend to base it on how mad I am for sex... ... Which this month was from 8th for about a week I don't use opk's, temp or anything. If/when she arrives this month I'll be going straight onto Amazon and ordering a shed load of cheap pissy sticks.

We still DTD every other day, but there is normally one week in a month where I'm definitely the most up for it () again)

My boobs started to hurt around the 8tg/9th actually and still haven't stopped (although they are less painful). So I guess that may mean I iced around then(?)

That would put me at around CD12/13 when I iced (if that was when it occurred).

kez you're not out until the witch shows up! especially if you're not 100% sure when you iced!

Yeah, it sounds like that's about when you iced and if so, you probably have a slightly (though not problematically so) short lp. I wouldn't read anything into the BFN's for a few more days

I'm wildly impressed by those of you who shag every other day for the entire cycle! When DH and I were in our twenties we DTD every day but now after 12 years together, we DTD every 2-3 days. 3 shags in a week is my absolute max and only happens during fertile week!