We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Well now I'm on month 7 I'm qualified to answer cat ...last cycle we did it 8 times but not all of those were in fertile phase whenever the fuck that is

feathered afraid im never thst sure on icing (try to be a good jser ha!) So dont know if it changed in post-mc cycle. But im guessing yes, as what doesn't change?!

Being a good JSer, I don't count. We probably average 12 = (30-6)/2 for the maths geeks among us Having said that, since January last year I've been pregnant three times, for +/- 50 weeks - that does bring the average down somewhat

I try not to get caught up in how often. We usually go for 3 x pw and if I get the pant snot I make sure we go eod. I think it's good to keep it fairly regular to keep the soldiers fresh but other than that, no sort of timing things ever seems to work. I've seen countless people on here get upduffed after 2 shags. And they always seem to be cd12 and 14!

We only shagged 4 times the cycle we were successful on, and only two during fertile phase I think. So many things affect it I think.

EOD from cd10 then Ed from pos opk here, and I ice CD 20-25. we do last shag day after icing

where have you all gone? are you now all shagging to compete with my EOD for 10+days?

I'm here Lil! Not shagging as both exhausted. Exhausted and not ovulating = reading before bed. night!

No shagging for me tonight lil have officially shagged DH out

Was squeezing in a quick midweek shag.
We have actually resorted to scheduling "date nights" - not that we go anywhere. Date night just means we sit at the table and eat dinner together and / or go up to bed and watch TV together, with no phones/tablets etc. Tonight was date night lol

Well done lil

We shag 3 to 6 times a cycle

Chatting with dh and told him we'd shagged 8 times this cycle...he's now decided we should aim for ED next cycle
I know we wont quite manage that but means we should manage eod at least

Happy Thursday all xx

Congrats lil on your exam!

Feathered I had longer post wtf cycle, although just by a couple days, so I assume I iced later too. From what I've read on here it's quite common.

I'm convinced I got upduffed from first shag of the cycle, which was something like cd8 or 9. With DS I got upduffed on CD9 if we believe scan dates. For some reason I always get pg in shorter cycles (same with the mc), don't know why - any science behind it? Does it mean the egg gets very ripe it's released earlier or something?

Well done lil!

DH successfully JIAC on Tuesday so will call the doctor early next week and hopefully get results and referral. Am about to start 4 night shifts though, so not much shagging for the next few days, and in between I'll be organising moving house!

Yep, still not icing so I'm guessing that the post WTF cycle is in full swing!

I use the CB fertility monitor. It's expensive to keep peeing on it and getting the just for fun symbol.

I think I'm going to switch to ICs until I sense icing might be drawing closer.

Hurrah for jiac. Gx everything fine. Ooh moving, how exciting! I love packing, and labelling boxes, you're in my heaven!

I've def iced, got woken up by killer rock hard skittle tits.

ED would kill me!

Date night last night, of course got down to business! We have the in-laws over from Ireland for the weekend so could be a bit of a quiet bedroom for a few days.

This cycle is slowly but steadily inching towards 70 days (CD68 today), had a bit of false hope a few days ago with awful cramps but I have my suspicions that it was more of a mild stomach bug from the piss poor water quality at the Great London Swim on Saturday. Doctor's appointment next week, I'm getting quite sick of waiting for that one. Stupid busy London surgeries.

I found it depressing looking back at how much shagging we did in the beginning when we thought we'd fall pregnant instantly and how it waned.
tri wow! 70 days! I think you deserve something really special for putting up with that sort of shitty stuff. Ice cream is always a good reward I find! :)
just i also have boxes to pack. Please please please come over?

auf I'm there! with my dynmo label maker

So much shagging here over last 7 months, none of it fruitful, apart from in an orgasmic sense

So I'm totally not drinking a pineapple core juice!

Woop for skittletits and JIAC. It's all going on.

Witch teasing me, coming and going. Bitch.

Happy packing Sock

ditto chat ...she's so sketchy this month I'm almost tempted to test after all i've got 4 FRERs burning a whole in my bathroom drawer

NOT REALLY! Dont worry I haven't lost it that much this month yet!

seriosuly though i think i've only used 4 tampax since tuesday and the rest of the time just always dailies?!?!?!

Haven't we been here before chat?

Seriously though, I hate it when af dicks about, I nearly tested on cd13 Ffs!

I had 'a period' when I was upduffed 5hell, but it was super light, barely needed a liner. or you could test just to put your mind at ease...

I did an opk because AF was so light to check I wasn't upduffed before pumping my body with drugs nothing to see here, as you were...

Sorry for all the viroids being dicked about by the witch.

Quick q, shoukd I be having my regular sports massage I have whilst dpo ing? It's only just occurred to me it might not be a good idea but I'm not sure if I'm being ridiculous!