Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
gaggiagirl · 29/01/2015 18:55

just oh dear it will be the pressure. Poor fella. You could just tell him each shag is for fun as you ovulated 'ages ago'. Never mention your cycle days or owt.
Dear me the things we have to do for the delicate males in our lives!

jellypi3 · 29/01/2015 18:59

Hi hen, sorry you are going through this. Are you sure he wants to try? I know the pressure started getting to my DP so we tried to just DTD every other day instead of on days where it was peak, this seemed to help a bit.

Viroids! I have a positive OPK!!!

The control line is actually fainter slightly than the test line. I'm so happy!

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
jellypi3 · 29/01/2015 19:01

And again for good measure

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
justtheonethen · 29/01/2015 19:05

jelly that is v exciting, get your cape on!
Good advice ladies, I'll try both! I am pretty sure he wants to, although this could suggest otherwise. Sorry, just feeling really pissed off and feeling a bit sorry for myself rejected.

jellypi3 · 29/01/2015 19:12

Don't apologise. It's hard for men sometimes. Maybe ask try and be a bit kinky too, unless that's outside your comfort zone. Try new positions etc

ChatEnOeuf · 29/01/2015 19:14

Glass of wine, talk dirty so he's not thinking about making babies while shagging?

Jelly that's beautiful! Cape on lady :)

Austra Grin

Go Purple! Happy milestone day

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 29/01/2015 19:18

AF is four hours late. I must have twanged the bejeesuz out of my insides last night! Am I broken? Will I die of burst fanjo? Grin

jellypi3 · 29/01/2015 19:22

Maybe you didn't miss you egg this month g?

gaggiagirl · 29/01/2015 19:25

Ha ha thanks jelly I'm sure AF is coming I can feel it. Its not like me to be late. That's why I'm certain I'm dying of leprosy or something Grin

Hobbit19 · 29/01/2015 19:29

just, know exactly what you are talking about but haven't wanted to post too much about it as feel a bit mean to DH, he is ill though so it might just be that. Think I will leave him alone for a bit and see if he recovers...

lil this is so exciting! Two weeks to go!

lildottie · 29/01/2015 19:37

just I'd go for good old fashioned hand job. with him able to just focus in his o the pressure will be off and maybe he'll take it further. make it clear you don't need to have sex with him tonight, you just want to be intimate with him and make him feel good. and then hope nature takes its course.

ga you are not dying! lol

justtheonethen · 29/01/2015 19:39

jelly chat we are pretty kinky all the time, but I'll try and ramp up the dirty. Suspect I'm giving off impregnate me now vibes!

oneI feel mean too but also just want to shake him and tell him to man up!

Right, wine and filthy talk at the ready. If that doesn't work I will suggest we do eod next month/pretend it is just for fun!

lildottie · 29/01/2015 19:41

oh jelly just went over to mobile site, that is a beautiful opk! get shagging. fx for peak in the morning

LaLa5 · 29/01/2015 19:50

Hey shaggers! Broke my 16 week drought this morning!

gaggiagirl · 29/01/2015 19:58

Congratulations la how was it? I don't mean that in a pervy way.

Purplecircle · 29/01/2015 20:06

Hurray La

LaLa5 · 29/01/2015 20:13

I bled - had officially healed up! Hey - does this mean my dh took my virginity? It would be a damn sight better than the spotty idiot I actually lost it with!

Muddytoes1 · 29/01/2015 20:15

Ahhhhh OMG what an exciting Fred - only just caught up after a couple of days away!

Lil can't believe I'm so excited for someone I've never met!
Batfish mahoooooosive congrats!
Jelly beautiful line!

So better get my stats up before the end of the Fred.

Name: Muddy
Age: 29
Dc: 0
Ttc: Dec 2014

kezaroo · 29/01/2015 20:20

I am in denial over the bfn. I swear I am pregnant. I can stop chuffin eating!!

Muddytoes1 · 29/01/2015 20:35

So I'm cd 8 and want to get my cape on but urrrrrghh have gone and got BV. Cant feel anything (doesn't hurt or itch) but feel rank and unsexy. Had it before - once took antibiotics (never again - harshest antibiotics in the world!) and second time it just cleared up by itself. Want to wait til it's gone but I ice pretty early cd 12ish. Guess I can give it a couple more days. Booooo - I hate being a girl.

jellypi3 · 29/01/2015 20:44

Gz la. How was it?

mud what's bv?

I'm so bloated at the mo, I assume it might be linked to icing? DP is shattered and we DTD last night, he said we can do it tonight but I don't want to pressure him. I would hate to waste my first ever positive line on an OPK but do you think doing it last night was enough

lildottie · 29/01/2015 20:55

jelly you will probably ly ice tomorrow so just do it as early as you can tomorrow morning

Oh no mud not fun.

If anyone is interested there is a pic of my embryos attached. One on the left is the grade 2 icsi with some fragmentation, right is grade 1 ivf. Dh doesn't want me to tell anyone we have pics but has given me special permission to share with you guys

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Muddytoes1 · 29/01/2015 20:59

Jelly if you're both conscious and consenting - get your cape on!

BV Blushwww.nhs.uk/Conditions/Bacterialvaginosis/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Muddytoes1 · 29/01/2015 21:00

Wow Lil that's incredible!!

Poochieblue · 29/01/2015 21:00

so exciting lil I'd say we were going to have our work cut out keeping you occupied for 2 weeks but as your testing everyday from tomorrow I guess it's not so bad. hope you feel suitably honoured that you're the only one allowed to poas so early? lol!! can we have daily pics as well? :-)

congrats la too, I suppose if that means DH took your virginity that you will now be taking part in the modern day Virgin birth? lol! please don't call it Jesus!

jelly I always bloat around icing so would say that was it. maybe tell DH no pressure for shag and then sidle up to him see if he takes the inititive?

just sorry DH is feeling the pressure, I often make a point of telling mine that "this one is just for fun" as i go through stages of wanting loads and then none so don't want to make him feel used. he has taken to staying inside me for ages and the wriggling and when I ask what he's doing he says "just making sure its all in, don't want to waste it" so on those occasions I don't have the heart to tell him I iced x days ago lol!!

I'm due to ice today and despite me bragging about what a good JSer I was the other day I have poaopk and got only the squintiest squinted of a 2nd line so am confused and naffed off. especially since tonight is the 1st one in 4 days DH is speaking to me lol! GX I haven't missed it this month, although if it was before then we should have caught it with our 5 day run! :-/

Swipe left for the next trending thread