O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Thanks la will stick with it then as I think it helps!

stoat you sound tres sensible, will be hopefully at you running level in 8 weeks! Zara have a lovely leather look pencil skirt in the sale

Be at your - Dammit!

la I'm very proud of you, you bleachy godess. Nothing like a bleachy house to soothe the soul.

tink stoat leather skirts! Linky linky link please! I can see me rocking leather leggings. I went out tonight dressed as Noomi Rapace in the girl film and leather leggings would have finished my ensemble delightfully.

www.zara.com/uk/en/sale/woman/stock-clearance/collection/faux-leather-skirt-c555514p2144045.html

ga loves this one

Thanks tink that's gonna be too long for me do Zara not do hobbit sized clothes? Waaaaaaaail!
A girl at work asked me where I got my new work skirt from. Topshop I replied. She replied I cant shop in there because they only make clothes for dwarfs. Sorry babes I'm not calling you a dwarf.

She called me a dwarf didn't she?

Ahem....contraband alert.....(asking on behalf of a friend obviously).....

To jelly and anyone else who is using the 'babymad' thermometer.....when you switch it on and it shows a temperature, is that the last temp it took? Because instructions say hold down on/off for 2 secs and it shows last temp. But the reason I am asking is that 'my friend' took temp yesterday for first time and is sure it said 36.60 - but then later when switched on again it showed 36.50 so she thought she must be mistaken and wrote down 36.50. This morning 'my friend' took temp in the dark and couldn't be arsed getting up immediately as thought would just switch back on later and see last temp. However it again showed 36.50 when switched back on. Seems far too much of a coincidence to be exactly the same down to 2 decimal places so wondering whether it always shows 36.50? In which case the instructions are lying and you can't view last temp!

Morning viroids!

Bat Mine always showed 36.50, you do need to hold it down. Basically when she takes her temp, switch it off, then when she switches it back on don't release the button, just hold it down and it will flash up with the temp. It's a little fiddly but you get used to it!

la congrats on the scan :) All good I assume?

Monitor showed Low today, so I reckon this cycle is done for. AF should be due today, tomorrow or Wednesday (based on extended cycles each month lol). She's not here yet, but I have that feeling she's flying toward me at speed! At least I don't need to use any more sticks lol!

ga...she called you a dwarf. Bitch.

Gaggia she definitely called you a dwarf. And if "babes!" is a direct quote, just straight up slap her.

Haha Ga def called you a dwarf but take it as a compliment. My friends are always complaining that Topshop clothes are too small and just for skinny people.

Stoat well done for the 10k signup! I do quite a bit of running and am still signing up to events despite secretly hoping I won't be able to do them as I might be pregnant good luck with your training. Eat well

Tink totally cute skirt but out of stock in all sizes

That was a direct quote honey everyone is 'babes' in my office and there are a lot of babe-ers. I might take it up myself babes.

That would enrage me.

Thanks jelly - I had tried holding it down but it just said Lo - maybe didn't hold it down long enough! I like the idea of being able to temp when half asleep and in the dark and then check what it said later! I mean my friend does. ....

Is it bad that when I see 'babes' I hear it being said in an Essex accent? No offence intended to any of you who may be from there!

bat if you're finger slips off the button as you're holding it down it will go back to trying to read, which is probably why you are seeing "lo". Took me a while to get it. is you're "friend" waiting for it to beep before taking it out of whatever orifice she has chosen to put it in?

yeh that was my problem bat, I kept resetting it by lifting my finger. I thought my body was amazing by having the same temp 3 days in a row...

i think i figured it out in the end by taking my temp (at some random time of day when i could dedicate time to understanding it), looking at what it was, turning the bbt off then holding down button to turn on and seeing what i did to get that temp back.

that's what I did lil :) great minds and all that!!

So no AF on CD 25, she's now due either tomorrow or Wednesday!

Bit of spotting today so expect to be out tomorrow. combined with my raging hormones from yesterday which will also explain why the scales weren't moving the later half of this week.

On to cycle 7. Trying really hard to remain positive. Think I'm starting to get shagging fatigue though! Bad shagger, obviously.

How's your knitting Lil? Can we have a progress picture?

Oh no honey hopefully not! Gx it goes away.

yeah gx honey that is goes!!!

it** can't type today!

who's doing next fred

Oh gx honey

Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be an IB! Ha! I think I am getting resigned to it. I had my hissy fit yesterday, I am more accepting today.

well we are all rooting for you honey. And if not, there's always next month!!!