O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Think this month isn't going to be it for us, only dtd once and I'm currently cd12. Mind just isn't in it with his redundancy news and the fact I'm suffering from man-flu. No idea if I have ov'd yet.

Can guarantee I'll regret this in a few weeks when I'm waiting for af and symptom watching. Suppose at least I can have a month off reading every twinge and pain.

Me and DP dtd earlier and you know what it was great! I just have to force myself to start and then I usually enjoy it helps being in the day too so that neither of us are as tired.

Sorry that it's all affecting you kez I don't ice till cd16 though so you still have chance I would have thought! It only takes once remember. Though of course a month off if you're stressed about other stuff isn't always a bad thing

We used to have loads of sex til we broke the awesome one. After it broke again after a 3 week rest, I told him that he needs medical attention if it happens again. So now he's terrified of breaking it and I'm only getting a token gesture when I ice
It's bloody frustrating although the current nausea does mean I CBA

no I didn't poas for him! I just shook my head and said "next week maybe" lol x he is funny! bless him!!

my nan taught me how to knit and crochet but I haven't done it for about 20 years, would love to start again though..... might treat myself to some needles and hooks

Broke the 'awesome one'?

Yes purple do tell

La at some point referred to her DHs penis as being awesome and it stuck.

DH snapped his frenulum banjo string during sex a few months ago so we abstained for a few weeks, then it went again
It bleeds like buggery when it happens

Yikes! Ouch! Did he have to get it treated?

Oooch! Sounds painful!

those of you who want to knit head to www.ravelry.com and sign up. look through the patterns, filter by free and easy. there are hundreds. follow a pattern for a blanket with a pattern in it or a knit in one baby jumper or something. you'll get it really quickly. my ban taught me when I was 7ish. hadn't done it for years until about 3years ago and had never followed a pattern. now I'm progressing to some harder stuff. Debbie macormer (so) baby blocks blanket was my first pattern. I love the blanket.

to all of you having a rough time. If it makes you feel any better I was in the other position while upduffed with DD. Friends I was very close to were having trouble ttc and another friend was menopausal... They avoided me but I understood how hard it was for them and we re-established bonds afterwards. Nobody will think less of you for needing space. Fingers crossed this is your month viroids x

Oh thanks Lil

Didn't hurt him, he felt something sharp then carried on to the end! I did ask what he thought the sharp thing was as I don't keep my pocket knife up there lol

He didn't have treatment but I threatened him with it if it happened again

what treatment would they do? sorry if I'm dim, my morbid curiosity is getting the better of lol x

Eeek, well it sounds painful even if it wasn't! And 'treatment' sounds equally painful.

Purple, when I read your post about knitting when you stopped smoking, and you might start again, I thought you meant smoking! LOL
Don't do it!!! I know knitting can be stressful, but there's no need to start smoking again!

haha! towns I thought that for a second as well, I thought it was my recently having quit myself that made me read it that way! glad I wasn't alone!

Evening viroids! Sorry for not posting been mad week but I'm lurking and reading everything!

I think my dh made some reference to his penis being awesome and i mentioned it here and it stuck! I must ask him to remind me what it was about as it was very funny at the time!

Just looked up 'awesome penis mumsnet' and loads of boards came up with our thread snippets on them! I think we're famous

Ok so quick read through and update

honey it's shitty and rubbish and frustrating when you feel like you're not getting anywhere. You're doing so well, keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there. Don't let anyone get you down - sites like Facebook is an entirely artificial world where folk present only what they want people to think of them. I ended up sharing my ttc struggle with a few people when I saw them in person and discovered other people who were going through same thing - but on Facebook they seemed to have the perfect life. Ttc struggles are much more common than people realise. You will get there

jelly I went through a whole box of highs once before I got peak on cd28. Keep going

Lil - so very excited for you!

Purple - sending you a hug, gx your time is coming soon

Noniks wherever you are I hope you're ok, bother you too xx

gaggia you'd be so proud of me. My bathroom reeks of bleach. I used the bicarbonate paste on the grouting then cleaned whole thing, even mopping floor!

Not much going on in la land. Had scan yesterday and everything is ok. I'm evidence that ttc a long time with no success is not as bleak as it seems, it can still happen. Come on here and vent all you need to though.

Love to all you viroids!

Can't remember who mention b6 for lp but please do take complex not just b6. B6 on it's own cause deficiency in b12. Also stop taking extra b complex as soon as you get pregnant.

It lengthened my lp by a few days the first month and I got bfp. I believe it does work. My lp was on the cusp previously at 10 days. We also used preseed and got bfp first month using it

Good luck guys x

Thanks La I think if i keep only getting to 12dpo i might start b complex. Can't hurt can it?

Is your grouting sparkling?

la 'twas me on the b6. There are other b vits in my 7 seas ttc. Dya think I'll be ok just with these? You seem to know your b vits stuff? Also love a berrocca sometimes which are b vit complex. Maybe give them all the heave ho if I'm on the 7 seas? Only take a 10mg b6 tablet? Seem to feel better with it.
Glad your scan went well, you give us all hope am currently drinking your share of rosé, as well as my own. No need to thank me

Tink I'm not an expert but I was told as long as you're balancing b6 out with other b vits then that's fine. Taking just b6 alone in high quantities can lead to b12 deficiency. I was taking 50mg b6 originally and then was warned so I switched to 100mg b complex before 2nd bfp.

Some people take 200mg but that's a lot and excessive amounts can be harmful

honey 12dpo is perfectly fine. 9 or less is short, 10 is on the cusp. Hope that helps

Grouting is bright! Whole house smells of bleach :)

Checking in, good evening! I'm in the middle of the 2WW though am distracting myself as not sure waiting is the way to approach it, just a doing nice things especially things I might not get to do if things go my way, ie gin. I see there's some runners on here...I try to do 5k 2-3 times a week and managed today despite the wind, it was awful!! Need to stay away from threads that tell me exercise is a no no....I'm not putting my life on hold and next week - when I get paid - I am going to book on a 10k I really want to do in the summer. The holiday is def waiting because it can be booked last minute, if no joy by September, we're booking. No symptoms and don't expect any, just boobs have not stopped hurting since ovulation (that's not symptom spotting, just fact that I'm uncomfortable when taking stairs or running). Wondering if it's now PMT and going to come on early. Will treat self to gin and a leather skirt when it arrives.