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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

999 replies

Purplecircle · 21/12/2014 09:43

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
lildottie · 21/12/2014 18:33

I can't deny there's a lot of waiting moo. we saw our HP to get tests pre referral just over 12m ago and are only just about to start ivf for male factor infertility.

muddy sorry about the arse rain too. weird not to be feeling off with it at all. have you had a lot of fruit or anything?

honey I know.its been going a lot faster since I got into the last pill packet. I just want to keep getting the needles out to look at but think dh might commit me if I do!

Muddytoes1 · 21/12/2014 18:48

Aww Lil so exciting, the last few days will fly. Didn't eat lots of fruit, I'm thinking it could be the raw gingerbread dough I was nibbling though that was yesterday and it didn't have egg in it just flour, syrup and ginger. Oh well feel fine so guess it doesn't really matter, hopefully things will form up soon.

Leela5 · 21/12/2014 21:36

Name: La
Age: 34
TTC: since July 2013, mc sept 2014
DC: currently upduffed with DC1 roughly green olive sized, result of the lunch time stealth shag.

Shiny new Fred! Sorry for being rubbish on last Fred. Will be more active this one - c'mon shaggers!!! waves pom poms

Hi to all the newbies I've not waved at yet waves

Leela5 · 21/12/2014 21:38

Lil - it's the final countdown da da da daaaa, da da da da daaa! Da da da da da, da da da da da da da...da da da...da da da da da da da da da daaaaa!

lildottie · 21/12/2014 21:56

haha la that made me chuckle! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 21/12/2014 22:03

Ha ha La! Good to see you! How far along are you now? Smile

jellypi3 · 21/12/2014 22:27

Hey la how you doing?

It's Christmas week tomorrow!! Woop! :)

Also in good news most recent AF of doom is easing up so hoping it's gone by tomorrow night. Which means lots of shagging! My CBFAM is telling me to start pissing on it on CD 6 :)

Purplecircle · 21/12/2014 22:41

Another weird AF here. It's all over! 3 days of not that much. Definite AF though

I had spotting from Sunday but full on from Thurs. Just wondering when I should count cycle from. Any opinions?

OP posts:
deeplybaffled · 21/12/2014 22:44

Hello, all.
Name : Deeply
Age : 37
TTC : July 14, CP Sept 14
DC : none, but often quite infantile myself ;)

Currently twotting and feels as if have been since the dinosaurs roamed the earth....patience is not a deeply virtue!

lildottie · 21/12/2014 22:44

purple cd1 is first day of full red flow,not spotting.

jelly it always starts from cd6 on first cylce using it. after that it trains to your cycle so may ask later.I ice late so mine started asking at latest poss point which I think is cd9. fx you don't get to a next cycle with it though

SunshinePickle · 21/12/2014 23:17

Awesome christmas Fred title!

Name: SunshinePickle
Age: 27
TTC: since Nov '14
DC: just two fluffy stinky cats

Ainat266 · 21/12/2014 23:44

Name: Ainat
Age: 27
TTC: August 2014. Currently on CD 112 (moo not as high as you, but please don't feel alone).
DCs: A little scruff dog.

honeysucklejasmine · 21/12/2014 23:45

Hmm. AF was really only three days here... Can't think that today's offering counts as any more than spotting. I wonder if my cycles are getting shorter.

Ainat266 · 22/12/2014 00:42

Just been reading all the posts from the past few days!!!

Lots going on, but no BFPs. Sad

But YAY Tink - you no longer have PCOS? I didn't even know that was possible? I thought it was one of those if you have it you have it kinda things. Your news is fabulous (and gives me another glimmer of hope).

First I wasn't online as I felt really ill on Thursday night. I had been feeling ill/nauseous all day, but then by the evening I was actually throwing up. Not fun. I ended up being a ball under the duvet and not moving fearing if I did I would be sick again. After an early night though I felt a little better on the Friday - good job really as on Friday evening I flew out to Germany for the weekend. Got back late this evening. Absolutely shattered, but a great weekend!

Leela5 · 22/12/2014 02:03

I'm 10 weeks and 3 days, had a scan last week and everything all on track, heartbeat all good. Saw little stubby arms and legs waving. Crossing fingers this baby's here for the duration!

Moomin37 · 22/12/2014 06:42

Thanks Honey Smile I've had a lorry load of EWCM this morning so feeling excited!

Poochieblue · 22/12/2014 07:33

Name : Pooch
Age : 34
TTC : Aug 14,
DC : 2 DSD's and a husband! lol

Sorry i haven't been around much the last few days, have still been feeling sorry for myself re AF, although she only stayed for 2 days after my 2 days of spotting which is unheard of but i'll take it - always better than the lovely 5/6 dayer floods i used to have (sorry TMI!)

la thats lovely news! just made me smile!

Purplecircle · 22/12/2014 07:57

Thanks Lil I thought as much

La that's lovely news, so chuffed for you lovely Smile

OP posts:
BothersomeB · 22/12/2014 08:07

Name: BothersomeB
Age: 40
Ttc: July 2013. MC Oct 13 and Dec 14
DC: 0
Currently on wtf cycle and preparing cape for new year action.

honeysucklejasmine · 22/12/2014 08:28

Get shagging moo! Grin

La that is fantastic! Bubba La is here to stay!

Sorry to hear that Ainat. At least you're ok now... What did you get up to in Germany?

Today i am doing a Christmas food shop. But as we are away, its just the days we're home, not turkey. Batch cooking and staying simple. Canneloni tonight. :-)

DulcetMoans · 22/12/2014 08:41

A collection of weird short cycles in here - wonder if the witch is trying to be kind and get them out of the way for festive shagging to start!

Good luck in the shops today honey, could get messy! Cannelloni is not in my repertoire but tried to make it a few weeks ago - what a mess! Cut things too big to go in the tubes mainly I think. I'll just stick to lasagne!

gaggiagirl · 22/12/2014 08:42

Morning viroid's!
I'm at work in.the posh toilets with arse rain.
Happy Monday!

jellypi3 · 22/12/2014 08:50

Thanks Lil I'm quite excited about using it, I've heard quite good things. My worry is that I won't get a peak showing up, but Gx it happens!

AF has left the building as of this morning (so mine was 4 days of full-on witchy-ness). But I'm glad it's over so gonna don the cape tonight :)

La you are so close to the 12 weeks :) That's so exciting!

I have a really good feeling about the next few weeks for us lot. Let's get shagging and make some Christmas babies viroids!!!

jellypi3 · 22/12/2014 08:51

oh no arse rain ga that's shit! I'm "working" from home today. Cue watching the last few episodes of OITNB ;)

DulcetMoans · 22/12/2014 08:59

Posh loos for the win though gaggia? Silver lining!