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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

999 replies

Purplecircle · 21/12/2014 09:43

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
lildottie · 23/12/2014 22:29

ain I def notice I an fuller quicker after a week or so of reigning in the portions, so does dh. don't think it takes long for your stomach to shrink back to normal size Si maybe not the metformin, but I'm sure purple/tink will be along soon with an answer in that front

Purplecircle · 23/12/2014 22:33

Ain I changed my diet to be low GI mostly and as a result I am full more and less hungry. I snack much less now, more out of habit than need.
My remaining issues are portion control and alcohol. Not enough of one and too much of the other. P

Metformin can cause the runs but I've not noticed. I was told that if that was a problem to take all mine at bedtime.

OP posts:
deeplybaffled · 23/12/2014 23:01

Liking the sound of babies for all in 2015 :)
AF theoretically due on boxing day, so can't really drink, and needing to think of creative lies for family. Tempted to test on xmas day, as would be great if a bfp....but worried it will spoil the day if bfn. Why is it all so complicated?!

honeysucklejasmine · 23/12/2014 23:26

La Been a hell of a ride so far huh?

Kez! Bout time you showed up! Wink

We're all packed and ready to go tomorrow morning. Shag #2 done and accessories packed.

We are either staying at Casa del Bro or in a hotel. can drink loads if staying at CdB but can shag lots if in hotel!

gaggiagirl · 23/12/2014 23:35

kez welcome back! I'm due AF same day as you. I won't be poas because yet again we failed to shag when icing due to various things that got in the way.

gaggiagirl · 23/12/2014 23:41

kez pm purple if you want in on the Facebook group of viroid undergrads. You can see actual faces!

Poochieblue · 24/12/2014 01:01

lol at "can see actual faces" it's still
so surreal for me! x
sending group hugs out for those in need and actually for those that aren't cos sometimes it's just nice to get one and it is Christmas afterall!!
so hhuuuugggggsssssssssss x

Jcandy · 24/12/2014 06:38

It's Christmas Eve!!! I'm so excited! Grin Just got work to get through then it's off to my parents Smile not sure how I'm actually going to get any work done today!

mountaingirl01 · 24/12/2014 06:47

Stupid Internet chose a great time to be down. Sorry lil, I wasn't ranting at you just the world in general Flowers.
La, interesting you say him? I do to whenever talking about my second lost baby even though he never got to develop I am sure he was a boy.
My cat has a stocking :) we have always bought presents for my childless uncles dogs as it only seemed fair after he always got them for us!

Leela5 · 24/12/2014 07:18

:) it's funny mountain, this one I've not no inkling at all but first one was definitely a boy.

Merry Christmas guys! We're driving up to family in Leeds today so I'll probably not be back on here.

Have a lovely time xxx

jellypi3 · 24/12/2014 07:51

Happy Xmas Eve Everyone!!!!! :D

I'll be on today and tomorrow most likely! First shag of the cycle done last night too :)

gaggiagirl · 24/12/2014 07:56

Merry Christmas eve my lovelies!
Cross ginger girl is as high as a kite today. She's naked and dancing on the coffee table already.

honeysucklejasmine · 24/12/2014 08:04

Ha ha ha Gaggia that is brilliant!

Merry Christmas Eve all!

lildottie · 24/12/2014 09:24

have a lovely time la

gaggia that's brilliant. has she been a good girl for Santa to come though?

Purplecircle · 24/12/2014 09:30

Merry Christmas Eve!

OP posts:
DulcetMoans · 24/12/2014 09:56

Hope you're all feeling festive viroids! If anyone needs help they can come here and wrap the presents, make the cheesecake and clean the house if you like? That will help you feel festive!

jellypi3 · 24/12/2014 10:12

Haha gaggia she sounds delightful!!

We had such a giggle last night, after shagging DP told me to stick my bum in the air (he saw it on Orange is the new black lol) so I did, then he made me do a kind of shoulder headstand and then i fell backwards lol. It was hilarious (and painful). And we are only on CD 7! I told him I'm not doing this every night haha!

Purplecircle · 24/12/2014 10:13

I'm questioning myself this morning. I may waste a FRER in the interests of putting last month to bed.
ERTD was shorter and lighter than usual by half.
Today I have headache, nausea and constipation - all of which could be caused by half a bottle of red but isn't normally
I'm also very weepy but that could be caused by new baby in family

Am I going nuts?

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 24/12/2014 10:30

lil nope, she's been a little horror this year! Santa is still coming for her though.

purple go for it if it will give you some 'closure' and put your mind to rest.

Purplecircle · 24/12/2014 10:31

Yup I'm going nuts or have more money than sense and not much of either

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 24/12/2014 10:54

Go for it purple. You have told yourself it's not BFP so if it's BFN it won't be a huge disappointment.

Let us know!

BothersomeB · 24/12/2014 11:27

Do it Purple - knowing is better than hoping...

Happy Christmas viroids! Am at work until 1pm but have so far been out on 2 shopping trips, bought 2 coffees and wrapped up last minute pressies...and there are still 4 advent calendar chocolates to eat...

Have a great time, whatever that entails and may 2015 bring us all the answer to our prayers and dreams. Xmas Grin x

jellypi3 · 24/12/2014 12:49

Same to you bother :)

I'm giving blood at the moment :)

Purplecircle · 24/12/2014 12:53

Sorry I meant to say it was a bfn.
likes wasting money on FRERs

OP posts:
Muddytoes1 · 24/12/2014 13:42

Aww that's rubbish Purple but now you know for certain. Hope the New Year brings you lots of baby making luck!