O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

I recently gave up on cleaning and hired a cleaner to come once a fortnight... that's how good I am! Went back to work after my first maternity leave in September and couldn't keep on top of the house as well. Plus, I hate cleaning!

I just downloaded an app where you can input household chores and how often you think they should be done, and it will remind you. E.g. laundry every other day starting today, put clothes away (I am CRAP at doing this. Floordrobe!) Every other day starting tomorrow.

We shall see.

What's that app called Honey? I have a utility room which isn't very well utilised thanks to being a store for laundry through all stages of the laundry process. I need a tumble drier and a cleaner

I'm about 9/10dpo today and suddenly getting slightly nauseating cramping. This is what happened when I got pg the first time so please keep your fingers crossed that 1. I'm not imagining it and 2. It's not af being particularly evil (af due next tues/weds).

Omg I hate cleaning. I am an absolute untidy person. I love a clean house I just hate the process of cleaning. I don't know how people who work full time have the time to clean too, what with commuting etc!

CD 16, another high today. Grrrr!

Thanks all for the welcomes! honey good to know I'm not alone! Hormone imbalances can be scary when you want to have a baby... Glad you are feeling well. Do you supplement at all? I take quite a few vits and minerals and also adrenal support.

Am just so excited that DP and I have agreed to ttc. It was New Years Eve and we watched fireworks across London from the windows, very romantic. Obviously, don't want to tell anyone in RL yet!

gaggia I salute your spirit... Between working from home and the DC's I barely have time/energy to do any deep cleaning. Still staring at some boxes of my old stuff from when we moved (last Feb)! Luckily, DP is handy around the house and very helpful.

Must admit am curious about Zoflora... Do love nice smelly things.

I think it's called "clean room" or something. It's on my tablet and the battery died. Blue logo with a toilet style stick man holding a broom.

Thanks Sky. I don't take anything else though, no supplements.

My hospital appointment letter didn't come through so i rang. March! March i tell you! It was supposed to be in 6 days.

Welcome Sky

I have a cleaner. She has OCD about cleaning. I'm a tiny bit in love with her don't tell DH
She comes every 2 weeks for 2 hours and does the whole house it's not a big house

Omg... I would love a cleaner, very bourgois but my job is insane and with a 17 month old i just constantly clean and tidy! How much is the going rate for a cleaner then?! Maybe i should just give up my mega stressful job and do that!

Thanks for the salute sky. I don't even have a dirty laundry basket such is the precision of my laundry regime (preens).
I've just cracked open a bottle of citrus zoflora....woooooo.

Got loads of lower abdominal cramps and bloating today :( the dreaded cd 17 tomorrow. Really hope it's not AF coming! :(

Greetings viroids!

Funny that cleaning is the subject of discussion... I decided not to work today so I could clean and tidy the house from top to bottom!

In fairness we don't have a big house at all... But because of this it looks cluttered a lot of the time - and I hate clutter!

I've even rejiggied the sofa (corner detachable one) so it is now only a small L shape as aposed to a big one. It's amazing how much floor space we have now!

Bathroom is a task for when I shower this evening. Aching from head to toe now (started at 10, finished about half hour ago).

Anybody doing this dryathlon for cancer research? I've signed up to it in hope that not drinking alcohol will help me shed some pounds. Also decided I'm tracking my calorie intake too (using my fitness pal app). It's worked before so pretty sure I can get back into it easy enough! have set myself s target to lose 3 stone in hope it's also going to help in the ttc department!

Wow that was a big post.

Now I understand why people say I talk a lot

Anyone ever get ovulation pains? I think hope to god this is what I'm suffering with!

I'd love a cleaner but my house is TINY! So I really have no excuse. But just cleaning kitchen takes an hour due to messy dh and cats!

Jelly yes - the day I ovulated I'd get really sore pains and be totally bloated

Cleaner costs £10 ph so £20 every 2 weeks for a small 3 bed house

I'll do Dry January if I'm upduffed however I'm ignoring any possible symptoms, it's helping with stress levels

I'm considering CBT to help with stress, anyone any experience of this?

jelly I get terrible ovulation cramps. Stabbing pain in one side and sometimes bloating and spotting too!

honey I see someone privately for my thyroid as I had a bad reaction to the levothyroxine. It isn't as expensive as I thought and totally worth it. This time last year I was in an out of ER constantly with infections that wouldn't go away. I was completely depleted of all kinds of stuff from the imbalance and my immune system had all but given up. It took about 6 months to start feeling close to well again!

gaggia I have managed to organise my drawers and closets in homage to your cleanliness. I found DD's baby hairbrush and got quite misty. One forgets about the perks of a big clear out...

Viroids! Popz just popped! Total surprise, she just disappeared for a bit and reappeared as a mummy!

Purple I did CBT for anxiety - was great, ask me anything you want to know

Freckle whenever you feel ready pop over to grads and say hi :)

What is CBT?

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

It's training yourself to think through a situation that may cause stress/anxiety, thus changing the way you react to trigger situations. I found it so much more helpful than antidepressants or traditional therapy

Gosh sky, that sucks! I have lupus too so all up on the immune problem!
So, today we finished painting the room, wallpapered half of a wall (rest tomorrow.. Ran out of paste and could not be arsed to make more). Oh, and knocked on a door and asked if dh could climb their tree to rescue our fucking stupid cat. Neighbour was lovely and dh climbs really well!

Yay for popz!

Tbh I see having a cleaner as buying my own time, as in, is it worth £20 to me to spend Saturday with my toddler instead of cleaning the house? Definitely!

Aww glad you managed to rescue your cat honey!

DH was amazing. Climbed down with one hand! Holding the stupid cat! Silly thing. She was gone ages and when we went out to look she was crying. Must have been about 8 meters high.

Hmm I might have to look into CBT. Sounds like exactly what I need at the minute.

hi all

jelly I used to get bad bloating at ov time and weird punchy cramps to the side. fx you get a peak tomorrow. even knowing I had long cycles by cd16 I was fed up.of waiting to ov and feeling like I'd pee on sticks forever and never get a peak/pos opk. but alas they always came a few days later! keep the faith!

purple dh uses CBT for his anxiety and confidence issues. I've noticed a massive difference in the last few years since he started using it. I've found the guided relaxation CDs really helpful. don't know if you remember me telling ain about them?

honey your life sounds so glad, like a film or something... hit tubs and men climbing trees! phwoar!

deeply how are you doing? all OK so far?

mum got gx for you.

I've often considered getting a cleaner when I was working full time. I think I'd have done it if I hadn't ended up self employed. no excuse at the moment!

I am starting to feel like a pin cushion. 2 bruises now, I thought I'd get better at it as it went on not worse!