O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

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Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Thanks bibble you can get all different scents. I just finished a bottle of winter spice. Apple orchard and clean linen are beautiful too.

Yes we will all be mummies or expectant mummies this year!

I Googled... It was an Amur tiger.

Excited to buy some zoflora. My shower is no longer mouldy (although still need to tackle the plastic bits.... So many nooks and crannies!)

Two coats of paint so far and almost finished my crochet octopus. DH says it is currently a hexapus. He is clearly hilarious.

So, poas again last night b4 going out. (i wanted to know if i could hit the hendricks gin!) Did one Sunday afternoon but it was so faint i thought it might just be the power of my own will - but there was def a blue cross this time. This will be third conception in 6/7 months, wonder if hcg will keep rising this time or if it will be another bloodbath. Got absoloutly no symptoms, puked constantly from 4 weeks when pregnant with little boy. Going to phone midwife/doctor first thing in morn as am convinced progesterone low - which is why i lost around week 6/7 the last 2 times Have apt with consultant in 2 weeks but want to make sure this one implants well and good. Cooking up lots of christmas soup with left over veg to keep brain occupied! Pregnancy is fucked up - it should be that you can drink copious amounts of wine and grow a third hand.

Gosh Freckle tentative congratulations but i can see why you're concerned. Hope the doctor can give you good news. And yay for keeping busy!

I don't have any white embroidery thread. How annoying.

Congratulations freckle and keeping my fingers crossed for you that this one stays put. I hope the doctor is helpful and you can relax soon x

Congrats Freckle and gx

Oo whispered congrats freckles :) gx it's a sticky bean!!

Just got back from the hobbit. Loved it!

Thanks kind ladies xxxxxx I dont think i count as a kitten. I get pregnant each time practically first try, but keeping it is quite another matter!!! Btw...LOVING the cleaning tips. I lovr a bit of cilit bang myself but can see a trip to sainsburys on the cards!

Just watched the great sperm race! And then played the game and made a baby. If only it were that easy!!!!!

Congrats Freckle got everything crossed it sticks this time.

Glad you made up jelly. DH and I have -mostly- made up too. Fingers crossed we will have a better start to 2015 now that's all out of the way.

Eek. Stepped on the scales this morning. Have gained a couple of pounds over Christmas. Back to being strict with carbs again now. I couldn't say no to my nans roast potatoes and used that as an excuse to let things go over Christmas.

I spent a bit of time this evening drawing. Forgot how much I enjoy it. New years resolution I think - make more time to do the simple things I enjoy that do no involve a screen. I.e. reading, drawing, crafts, etc.

I've always missed so much when I try to catch up!!

Glad there's lots of making up happening after rows. It's not a real festive fortnight if there's no falling out!

honey I think firefly is awesome too... So good I called my cats Inara & Kaylee.

Feeling inspired to have a clean out at home now. I anticipate I won't get much further than putting a wash on though. How do you tidy people do it?!

sunshine don't take my advice on cleaning, I'm sure its an illness to own very little items for fear of clutter and to disinfectant the radiators twice weekly. I'm like that bleach crazy woman off the telly.
God.....i love bleach!

Pickle My cats are named after Battlestar Galactica. Officially Thrace and Roslin but sometimes call them Laura and Kara.

I am not a tidy person so making the most of my motivation. We painted two and a half walls today! (many coats. We will move to sofa tomorrow and paint the rest. And then its wallpaper time.

Disinfect the radiator?!

Disinfect the radiator? Is this something I'm supposed to do?! gaggia you're more than welcome to come and tidy mine if you ever run out of tidying at home...

honey yay for geeky cat names!

Greetings viroids!

name: usually SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst (still have Halloween NC, whoops)
Ttc: planning to remove bc after next endocrine appointment.
DC's: dd4, dsd5

Have finally overcome thyroid problems, under active, feeling better on Armour thyroid. Ready to get my cape on! Wishing you all best of luck!

I cleaned my kitchen this morning. Scrubbed the cooker and everything. Well, everything apart from disinfecting the radiator! I do wipe them down from time to time so they don't get dusty, but wow gaggia you must have a super clean house!

My mum's cats are cosmo and luna as their birthday is July 31st - the day of the first apparent moon landing in 1969.

Welcome sky.

Linked to the cleaning topic I ordered a new set of drawers today from hobbycraft to store all my craft bits in. I got ridiculously excited about this. -I am not sad and looking forward to them being delivered-

perfectly reasonable to be excited ain

freckle fx for you're sticky bfp.

welcome sky

gaggia I thought I was a little bit ocd but you disinfect the rads twice a week! do you have time for another child?!

Welcome Sky! I take thyroxine too.

I need some sort of container for my needles etc. I keep it all in the footstool but the needles etc are lose in there. (Not sewing needles, they are kept together) Trouble is that I don't think it would be big enough to put a container in and still close. Must go through it and see what I can do. I have a pattern in my head to do a princess doll so shall see what I have available for that too. (My friend had a little girl yesterday afternoon)

Also, I am officially 3 dpo! Woot!

Disinfect radiators wtf?!? I have a friend who steam cleans skirting every day - are you her gaggia?

Congratulations freckle gx for sticky bean!

Hi to sky!

Going back to work today. Yuck

Ha ha! I'm a special kind of clean, what can I say. lil I was always like this even with a newborn. Cant bare mess.
la steam cleaner you say?. I could be tempted. I disinfect my skirting weekly but I think a steamer could be awesome.

I would love a permanently clean house but it's just not in my genetics.

My MIL dusts and hoovers her whole house every day. Even though several of the bedrooms only get used when she has guests