Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

999 replies

Purplecircle · 21/12/2014 09:43

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 31/12/2014 20:33

Go honey! I'm all about the bleach. I can happily use a bottle a week. I also use a bottle of zoflora in the same time frame. Apparently my house smells 'eyewateringly' clean as my mam puts it.

honeysucklejasmine · 31/12/2014 21:10

I saw zoflora in the Range, but I don't know what it is. What does it do?

Ainat266 · 31/12/2014 23:08

Evening all.

I am currently annoyed with DH. Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or he is. Not great for NYE anyhow. He's complaining he's really tired and just wants to watch TV. I'm annoyed because we planned to watch a movie and play some silly games tonight. We watched a movie (his choice of film), played a game for about 20 minutes and then he started with the 'I'm tired' crap. I did try to get him in the mood for a shag but that didn't work either. So now he's watching tv and I'm playing about on the Internet... I did find some strawberry cider in the fridge though. Every cloud and all that...

Talking of steak I made the perfect steak for dinner last night. I was well impressed with myself. I don't cook it too often as I'm worried about ruining a great piece of meat, but if last night was anything to go by I should cook it more often!

Tempted to go and bleach my bathroom now too!

Looking forward to all the BFPs in 2015!

honeysucklejasmine · 31/12/2014 23:31

Happy new year ladies! We are going to hot tub in a bit... But seeing an how we just shagged and I'm full of spunk maybe we should give it a miss! Gross!

Maybe a morning hot tub adventure instead.

Purplecircle · 31/12/2014 23:51

Happy New Year lovelies. Next year we will all need babysitters to go out Smile
We had steak and played board games DH got thrashed
Now watching Hootenanny and drinking wine

OP posts:
Jcandy · 01/01/2015 00:37

Happy New Year everyone!!! 2015 is our year!

honeysucklejasmine · 01/01/2015 00:43

Happy new year all! Here's to shagging, viroids and BFMFPs!

cleaned up and sat in hot tub to enjoy neighbours fireworks

lildottie · 01/01/2015 01:36

happy new year everyone. hope you've all had lovely nights. we we t to my mums and just chilled out.

jcandy injections are fine. bit weird but I'm slowly getting used to it.

come on 2015, be good to me!!

rachelrawrrr · 01/01/2015 01:39

Happy new year!!! Grin

so jealous honeysuckle wish I had a hot tub Sad I'm just sat here with the cat cradled in my arms... Not so different to having a child i guess haha Grin

Jcandy · 01/01/2015 08:21

Morning viroids, hope there aren't too many sore heads this morning!

Well after a very slow start yesterday the witch most definitely arrived overnight Sad Oh well onwards and upwards, a new year, a new start, a new cycle.

jellypi3 · 01/01/2015 08:53

Happy new year viroids :)

I had a shit NYE. All plans on shagging went out the window because DP and I had a massive argument.

Oh well. Going to watch the hobbit today!!

Leela5 · 01/01/2015 08:54

Morning and happy new year viroids!

Sorry to those of you the witch is harassing, silly bitch she is. Tell her firmly she's not welcome.

I went to a house party last night where I was the only sober one. It was really fun! We played sing star and just dance. Then had to pick up my dh from work so got home at 3:30am

Ewcm purple - get shagging!

Mountain are you lurking? Haven't seen you for a while I hope you're ok.

jellypi3 · 01/01/2015 09:01

Oh and I got another high on the monitor...it says highs predict your 4 most fertile days...bull s**t lol!

Aww your poor DH La working NYE!

Jcandy · 01/01/2015 09:02

Oh no jelly have you made up this morning?

jellypi3 · 01/01/2015 09:13

Sort of, it's a bit...frosty. Just annoyed me so much!

Muddytoes1 · 01/01/2015 10:15

Happy New Year viroids!

Jelly sorry your New Year didn't go to plan, hope you're all made up soon.

JC self need a chat with the witch to explain she's not welcome in 2015.

I have no idea what just happened but I just woke up and poas! On cd6! AF only stopped 2 days ago. Must have had a weird dream or something. If that's how I start the year I think 2015 must hold lots more embarrassment in store for me Blush

honeysucklejasmine · 01/01/2015 10:27

Sorry to hear that Jelly. Hope he sorts himself out soon.

La i thought of you the other day. My grandma fed the tigers at the local zoo and the keeper was so interesting, telling us about their programmes and the worldwide issues. Made me wonder if you are a similar font of all knowledge.

gaggiagirl · 01/01/2015 10:44

honey zoflora smells beautiful and it is a disinfectant. I dilute it in water to damp dust and clean floors, put it neat down the toilet and plug holes. Put a neat shot in the softener draw when I wash the bedding and towels. Put some neat on a cotton ball and leave it in the dust bin of the Dyson so my Dyson smells nice.

Happy new year viroids.

Leela5 · 01/01/2015 11:07

I'm fascinated by this bleach soda concoction. What's the recipe!

That's kind of my job honey - I used to do zoo education and now I do same kind of thing for the public in different organisation. I write articles and give advice on wildlife, lots of diff topics and species. I get very intense and boring about it though if you have to listen to me banging on regularly about issues!

Muddy - we've all been there Grin I remember someone giving me a right bollocking on here for POAS cd5/6

I think my dh is making breakfast...I'm still in bed. He's used to working Hogmanay he quite likes it! We celebrate Hogmanay on the 1st in our house.

Jelly if it's first couple of cycles using cbfm it will give you long string of highs. As it gets to know you it will hone that to fewer days. It will still pinpoint peak so keep going with it

honeysucklejasmine · 01/01/2015 11:20

Its just a paste of thick bleach and bicarbonate of soda, mixed in a bowl. Though i made an error of adding bleach first and ended up needing the whole pot of bicarb to turn it paste like.

Then i spooned it on around the base of the wall and left it. Did some on the window sill too.

After about 4 hours i used a tissue to take it off the window to a beautiful white result. Shower mould was still a faint brown at that point though so left it on. Going to go remove it now.

Well i thought zoo man was very interesting. It was a type of orange tiger which has only about 350 left in the wild.

honeysucklejasmine · 01/01/2015 11:22

Thanks Gaggia for info. Might get some!

We are beginning the task of painting the living room today. It's going from ochre and red (i know!) to white. Going ti take ages!

jellypi3 · 01/01/2015 11:22

Breakfast in bed! Sounds lovely. I'm off out soon, really cba today.

We have semi made up! At least we are talking again lol!

batfish · 01/01/2015 11:24

Happy New Year viroids!

la you are having a baby this year!! Shock Well - we all are obviously (or at least going to be pregnant) but yours is just a bit more confirmed than the rest of us Grin

Yesterday I ordered from Amazon - thermometer, some IC tests and some preseed! Hubby is going to find it so romantic I'm sure haha. Nearly died - almost got it sent to my mum's house as that was the default address! Haven't told them we're TTC so could just imagine when this parcel turned up with the shop name 'babymad' written all over it, oh god. But luckily it let me change the address after I ordered, phewwwww!

Got to bed at 6.30am so it's 3.30pm here and I'm only up since 2 hours ago and still in my PJs, what a disgrace!

Leela5 · 01/01/2015 12:11

Sumatran tiger? They are pretty low in numbers

Yes it's very scary bat! You're all going to be mummies this year though! Grin

Bibble19 · 01/01/2015 13:12

Happy New Year viroids! Slow start here but glad we're not the only ones planning some DIY today. Bit sad that I'm also loving the cleaning tips - especially on the Zoflora from Gaggia!