O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

hi all. can't remember who said what so will do my best!

sun hope dh just needs physio. gx

bat only temping will confirm ovulation. opks are just that - ovulation predictor kits. most should not be used with fmu but there are some clear blue dual hormone ones that I think you do both for. and cbfm requires fmu. personally I'd suggest try ic opks first. I used them for months fine but tried cbfm anyway and didn't find it added anything the opks didn't. if anything it just annoyed me that my first pee of the day had to be on a stick for 20days per month. and fertility friend is good app for charting temps.

who asked about preseed? to counter la and popz success stories we used it for several months to no avail. but dh has shit sperm so it was a long shot.

also don't anyone waste their money on home male fertility tests. dh did one that said he was fine. yeah so fine we have to have icsi!

purple good on you ignoring those symptoms.

found out yesterday dhs younger cousin and his gf are pg. it was our turn next feeling a bit grr about it.

Purplecircle - I would simply like to state that i am seriously enjoying reading your introductory notes! I only wish i could use them as a style model for my y12 English language students, without the triad of parental complaints it would cause - raising a glass to you, all-be-it one without pee in it!

Fair enough bat

So sorry Lil. that is the suckiest feeling ever, as it comes with added guilt for feeling bad! It will be your turn very soon at least!

Name: Freckle
Age: 39 and 11 months...
Dc: 1 insanely beautiful boy ages 17 months, dh and 2 british blue cats.
Ttc: May 2014
M/C: June 2014, Oct 2014.

Got faintest pink line on sunday afternoon. Just waiting for bitch in red car to show, or grow a pair and do another test. Scared of not being tupduff and scared of being tupduff and having another miscarrige...crapola
And no booze for new year boo hiss!

Hola, Buenos nochas.

Welcome newbies

Congratulations deeply

Just checking in, nothing to report from this end. As you were...

Woah the witch has certainly made herself known this morning!! Wish she could have appeared 12 hours earlier and saved me a tenner!

Going to order a thermometer - wondering whether I can get preseed lube through customs into a muslim country without being accused of being a pornstar

Welcome Freckle. I definitely can't take the credit for the OP, it's been copied and pasted along the way, and changed a bit too!
We take it in turns to start a new fred when we fill one up. It's meant to be good luck here's hoping

Oh bugger Batfish. I'm sorry lovely I thought you had it!

Aww bat that sucks :( sorry for us egging you on!

Welcome freckle :) gx for it being a BFP!!!

And hey ain and tink :) you viroids have been quiet for too long!! Although where is lemon :(

Yet another high today! That's 4 highs in a row and no peak yet :(

lil :( big virtual hugs. Can't be easy when you have been TTC for so long!

Still keeping up EOD shagging at the moment! Going to order preseed for next month!

Welcome Freckle!

My temp is on the up today so pretty sure i iced yesterday. Shag again today to be sure.

jelly I've had 10 or so highs before a peak, don't worry! :)

Thanks zyla :) good to know.

I'm fast approaching the dreaded CD 17, so hoping I don't get a repeat of my mini AF again!

honey get shagging!

What's everyone's New Years plans?

Sorry bat looks like I'm going to join you as I've started spotting so expecting the witch to properly arrive at any moment. Least we can have a drink tonight hey!

Don't worry jelly you will get that peak, it'll say on the instructions that it picks up lots of highs for some people. Just keep snagging every other day till you get it

Way to go honey with your icing, get that news years shag in

Hi there freckle why don't you test again? It's been 4 days........ You can come back to us and vent out your worries whatever the outcome

Oh lil that sucks! But keep positive! It will be you next, not long to go now. How are the injections going?

Good to see you tink

We are pensioners boring so we are going to stay in and watch a movie and maybe use the hot tub if we can cope with the freezing air temperatures.

Yourself?

Actually jelly shagging is what you want to do stupid autocorrect to snagging, whatever that is!

I'm visiting my best friend who lives a few hours away. She has a little 3 month old so I'll be seeing in the new year with baby cuddles!

Aww lovely plans!

DP and I have having a quiet one for once. We normally have a party of go to a party but this year, we plan to shag our way into 2015!!!

Feeling very bloated today, maybe an icing sign?

We are going to continue with our walking dead box set tonight woo!
Today I shall wash my hair, dust and bleach the bathroom.

Afternoon viroids. I've got EWCM again, had it Monday.
Last month I had it on 2 days, 3 days apart
Anyone else had this?
I guess the answer is to be more scientific about it and temp or OPK, in meantime I had best get me Cape on again!

We are staying in tonight, have bought steaks. Tempted to have an offline evening and do something different, maybe wine and music and board games. We spend too much time in front of the TV and with iPads

Mmm steak
I fancy steak now!!

No need to apologise my lovely viroids, I really wasn't expecting a BFP so soon and I don't have enough post pill cycles to go on to know that AF is late or not - now I've had 2 x 31 day cycles and a 29 day one so will assume from now on that I have 31 day cycles. Might buy some ICs with my Amazon order thermometer so I'm only pissing away (haha geddit) pennies each time!

jcandy sorry to hear AF might be on her way for you too! But yes I suppose a silver living to the red cloud is that we can have a drink tonight - we are headed to see some friends with copious amounts of bubbly with us, she has loads of champagne cocktail ideas so it should be fun. I was thinking if I was pregnant what the bloody hell I would say to my friends tonight, I'm pretty sure that when the time comes they will guess instantaneously because it would be unheard of for me not to drink - I could probably get away with it one night or maybe pretend to be on a health kick and drag it out for a couple of weeks if I'm really lucky but obviously that would never fly on NYE!

purplecircle it sounds like you have a lovely night planned - we are also guilty of sitting next to each other on iPads and watching TV, we have the most fun nights when we open a bottle of wine, put the Internet away, turn off the TV and put some good music on. Also with the ewcm I had it last month on CD16 and then again on CD19 & 20 - no idea what that meant as I don't have a clue how my body works haha.

Hope you all have a fabulous NYE and I am sure that this time we will be staying home with our brand new babies so let's make the most of it! Who is going to get the first BFP of 2015? lil is definitely going to have hers before too long but who is due to POAS in the next week??

batfish af is due next tues/weds, so planning on testing Fri or Sat if it hasn't shown up by then

purple did you feel wet/slippy about that area on the days between ewcm? It may have been there just in smaller quantity - you can feel/sense cm in far smaller quantities than you can see it.

Loving all these staying in plans! We are staying in too - wine and cape methinks

I'm really not sure, not so as I noticed

Gaggia you have inspired me, and I have just thrown bleach around the bathroom. I also did the mumsnet trick of making a soda and bleach paste to put on the grouting and moiuldy sealant. I will report back it's success, if any.

I am now watching Firefly and making a toy octopus for a friend. Good fun, I like a challenge!

Also, Firefly is awesome.

It totally works!