O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

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Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Haha bat that made me laugh. Not a clue what anyone would get up to with deodorant! I don't think I've ever asked DH to pick up anything more exciting than a pint of milk... I drive, he doesn't, so for 'big' shops we normally both go together or sometimes I'll go by myself... As for poas I'm impressed. I'll have my gx that it is your month. If A doesn't show soon it may be poas time.

I've never heard "having a dog on" as a phrase. there is a phrase to "have a cob on" in the Midlands though.

trying to drink more water today. have a new water bottle for Christmas which holds 750ml which is helping

fx for more bfps bat and jelly

I was fine with my patience until I started talking to you viroids and now you're making me want to go out and buy a test! If I was thinking at all that it might be a BFP then I probably would but instead I will continue running to the loo every 5 minutes to see whether AF is here waiting patiently. Just feel a bit like I'm missing out by not doing the whole twotting thing properly and planning my POAS day! Maybe next month I'll get more organised and try to actually figure out when I ice so I can do it properly.

I actually looked at thermometers the other day naughty I know but they didn't seem to say whether they had 1 decimal place or 2 and I'm sure someone said on here they should have 2? Could have asked someone but like the juvenile that I am I was afraid they would ask me what I wanted it for - please someone help me grow up!!

Haha Bat can't believe he was too shy to get you a deodorant. Hilarious what goes through these boys' heads. Dh is pretty good on that front and even once went to the supermarket pharmacy counter to pick me up a canesten pessary which I thought was pretty brave.

lil I've heard the 'having a cob on' as well as to be 'mardy' but I've not heard the'dog' one before either...

It's so cold today. Curled up on my sofa with a nice fluffy blanket, but still cold. just put the heating on and thinking a hot bath may be required later... In the meantime though I'm looking at dishwashers online. Anyone know anything about dishwashers? We're looking to buy a new one but having never bought one before we don't really have a clue. Hoping to stick to a £200 to £300 budget.

What else can I window shop for online?

Must be a northern thing.

My whirlpool one is 10 yrs old and has never gone wrong - I think it was about £250 in 2004
Make sure you get one that dries the pots, some cheap ones don't

Also I would say check cycle times - we used to have one that washed in 30 mins and did a good job of it - the ones we have now takes minimum an hour and a half, crazy!

Evening viroids!
Congratulations deeply gx xx

Af due to make an appearance on NYE but today I swear I had pant snot (wtf?) only a bit, mind, but there was definitely some whiteage going on. Already thought I ovulated on 19th/20th and was hoping my cycles were starting to become a little more towards normal so I do hoe I'm not ov'ing today. Had some twinges and felt like I was stretching (where I would normally get period pains).

So far other than the above, I've not had any of the symptoms I listed this time last cycle apart from the fact I feel like I've pissed myself

kez no symptoms could be a good thing :) gx

Hope so jelly although I am not testing until Sunday at the earliest. Decided I don't want to waste any more so my first "symptom" will hopefully be that af doesn't arrive!

Can I join you lovely ladies? Currently in first cycle of ttc number two. We are the reverse of a lot of people in that we chart conscientiously in order to not get pregnant, and then abandon the charts gleefully and just get on with it as much as possible when ttc I only have one pg test in the house, and will not be buying any more, so going to be pretty darn sure of the result before I go peeing on anything.

Ooh and batfish, one decimal place on a thermometer is fine, it's what I've always used (accurate enough to chart to avoid getting pg with for years lol!)

Welcome mum :) how long have you been TTC for?

kez that sounds like a plan. So we have a few testers this weekend? Exciting times!!!

I can't wait to get my peak on my CBAFM!!

Welcome mumofmunchkin!
Take a seat! Everyone is friendly and if you aren't shy of tmi you will fit in just fine!

Great plan of action there - I am doing that now - just shag and wait for the obvious, basically! Although I do have to say, if by March I've not had good news I will be using contraband! I'm already sick of seeing bfn's hence why I'm on a testing ban!

I know this will sound daft, jelly but I am going to keep my self busy in hope the witch doesn't turn up AND that I forget to test! I kinda want to get to say, Wednesday and think "oh shit I've not come on!!" Take a test and boom!

Although knowing my luck I'll be like "oh shit I've not come on" and then I'll be like "wiiiine!"

Thanks ladies! We kind of stopped paying attention properly to the charts to avoid pg last month, but only properly threw them out at the start of Dec.

Kezaroo I am finding the Christmas season a great distraction - so much food and wine that there's no time to obsess

I have too noticed Xmas is a great reason not to obsess! I've not been on here as much this month because I've been so busy - which is great (that I haven't been thinking about it, not that I haven't been on here!) hopefully the lack of "stressing" plays in my favour this month!

Although I do wish I was still as busy now as I have been in recent weeks. Due for a visit from the witch in 2 days and its all I can think about! Head is in overdrive feeling for symptoms that aren't there!

Evening all and welcome mum. Think we've done most of the Christmas rush here, so I'm now distracting myself with sales shopping browsing online.

Thanks bat for asking about thermometers, I was just wondering that today, is everyone just using a bog-standard digital one from eg Boots? Not that I've got to using one yet...

I Bought my thermometer on amazon. I think it's called babymad or something (I just searched for a Basal body thermometer) it was about 6 quid next day delivery :)

hi all! ttc #1! we're thinking of JS. temping and such seems very complicated!
we agreed we would every day (or try to!) but he's on nightshift if I don't get a baby because of Asda, I'm going to destroy the shop

Welcome rachel!

Advice I have been told (by several people!) is to try not thinking / stressing about it and it will happen! That's why the js approach is the way forward! although there are some people on here who use contraband, but you didn't hear that from me

gx (gingers crossed) that your local asda won't be feeling the wrath of Rachel!

Thank you for the kind welcome

I'm being very impatient, I've only been off the pill just over 2 weeks and we only decided to start trying 3 days ago haha! ð???
but theres been no contraception for over 2 weeks so I'm hoping we'll get lucky!
well if we don't get to baby making soon, because he's too tired, they'll definitely feel my wrath! I'll go in and throw the cat at them

I'm giving it 2 more months before I hit the contraband - I got so stressed with it last time I'm sure it was more of a hindrance!

I keep thinking it sounds so complicated! we were discussing it and JS sounds much more fun

Evening. We are without heating today. Woke up to a big puddle on work surface and damp ceiling above boiler. Had to go out for day so turned off boiler and water for day. Plummer coming tomorrow. Should have come tonight but didn't turn up. (Being sent by home insurers)

So of course, being good JSers, we found a way to keep each other warm!

Welcome new shaggers!