O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Evening viroids.

lil I am another in awe of both you and modern medicine.

I overheard my mum talking to her auntie on the phone earlier. Another hint that she wants a grandchild. Twice in the last 3 times I've seen her. Both times I should have been out of ear shot (I have weirdly good hearing for the most part).

2015 will be our year viroids.

I hope.

Nah Lil, i just have a vague memory of a brummie giraffe asking "where is everybody?" on a travel company advert. IVF is so cool. Science rocks!

and yes, Ain, it will be! Next Christmas we'll be mummies!

muddy I watched walking dead last night too. I actually had a zombie style nightmare.

Morning viroids. Not happy about getting up for work today, had a lot of wine yesterday!
My mum has 5 grandchildren already so she's not hassling me, she knows better

Morning!!!!! Work today, sucks much :(

I really want to watch walking dead. Is it good? Might suggest we stick episode one on tonight (think it's on amazon prime).

Another high today. DTD last night again, my groins are aching lol. Hoping for a peak soon! I had a weird burning sensation around the place of my right ovary yesterday, so I was convinced I was icing but monitor disagrees I assume.

I'll be bored as hell in work so will be on MN all day haha!

Lol Jelly, how is Mr Jelly holding up? Mr Honey was after some last night but I told him that from today we will be starting a three day stretch so he decided to defer and save his spunk strength.

Morning viroids No work for me today unless you count sorting out the disaster of my house as work! Will be good to get everything in order after the christmas madness though.

Feeling a bit down today. Tested early this morning at 12dpo and bfn. Was speaking to my friend who is also ttc though and see had a positive (though she isn't convinced yet but I think the line is pretty strong) she's going to test again tomorrow and I just know it'll be positive. I'm really happy for her but obviously it's made me think of last month when I had my positive results (albeit it only briefly). Anyway I need the next few days to go quickly so the evil red tide of doom can arrive or I get a Bfp. I'm feeling impatient!!!

Aww JC stay strong, it must be so hard after going through what you have but remember stressing over it can be counter-productive!

Honey Mr Jelly is coping fine, but I said we need a break to increase his potency. We had a bit of a wobbly over the weekend because I think the stress of TTC is getting to him and he's not enjoying sex as much, which I said isn't fair on him. He's so focused on getting upduffed, and having a "High" on the monitor has made him more driven, but I told him we need a break. I have a feeling if this month is a BFN it will affect him more than me :(

Thanks Jelly I know. I'm not really stressing just a bit down I guess. Hasn't helped having all DP's family over with their cute kids one day!....

Aww jcandy sorry to hear you are feeling down, totally understandable especially if your friend may be pregnant, hope you are not far behind her!

I am feelimg a bit in limbo - CD30 today and last cycle was 29 days so waiting impatiently for AF to arrive. I know I could put myself out of my misery if I POAS but I feel a bit of a tit doing that - which I know is ridiculous when I'm TTC! But November was such a poor shagging effort and I don't have any symptoms so I know I'm not pregnant and just need to wait for AF and plan next cycle's shagfest!

Well done on all the shagging jelly! Really hope mr jelly doesn't have to be disappointed for long bless him!

Bat how many DPO are you (or don't you know?). Do you had any IC's you can pee on so you don't waste a FRER?

We've got pant snot and DH has got a dog on but won't say why probably my drunkenness yesterday

Bloody men!

a dog on? am i missing something here?

bat poas! Now!

No idea how many dpo, had ewcm between cd16-20 but that's all I've got to go on - will give it another couple of days because I'm sure AF will be along soon! I don't have any kind of pregnancy test at all, haven't bought one for about 7 years! Feel like I will get ID'd buying one haha

Haha it's nerve wracking. I try to buy mine online because it's more anonymous, until the blooming Tesco delivery man asks if my FRER being changed to a Digi is ok, and informs that it's better because it's more expensive.........

I think I'll send DP out to buy them in future lol! I was always the same buying condoms, too nervous to go to the counter with them (and weirdly, am like it with Sanitary pads too...)

Well I'll give it another couple of days as it's only day 30 today! That would be the worst - having to buy a test and then AF appearing half an hour later haha! God I sound like such a child, how am I supposed to look after one? ! [Grin]

Good for you bat I do like your resolve!

I've been reading all sorts of bad threads today and have convinced myself I'm never gonna get upduffed now lol! Why do we do it to ourselves!!!

Haha I know what you mean jelly - I tend to verge on pessimistic with potentially exciting things as I hate getting my hopes up - so that's probably why I'm not desperate to POAS because I've convinced myself that the likelihood of a BFP is so remote!

Oh and talking about being embarrassed buying things - I once asked the hubby to pick me up some deodorant and he said no as it would make him look like a pervert! Deodorant for God's sake! Can you even imagine the response if I asked him to grab a pregnancy test on his way home?!

Dog on = in a strop

I've never asked DH to buy anything controversial. He didn't like me asking him in the supermarket queue if we needed any johnnies though

Ahh gotcha Purple lol, i'm not down with the lingo!

Lol at DH getting funny about deodorant Bat. DP is pretty good with me, he used to buy the condoms when we used them etc, so he wouldn't have an issue getting a pregnancy test. I have kind of manned up a bit though and just go for it, though I wouldn't buy one if I was at work, I know too many people who would definatley say something if they saw me buying a FRER!!! (Plus i've stocked up for if when I get a BFP on an IC)

Well condoms he was always fine with that's the weird thing! I'm still wondering what a pervert might get up to with a can of deodorant!