O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Morning Ga :)

Thanks La, we'll carry on as is :)

I agree with la jelly, esp as I had 2weeks of highs at the start!

it didn't really hurt, haven't bruised myself.

egg collection around 26th Jan la depending on how I respond to the drugs. I have scans 14th, 19th and 23rd. should add 2nd injection after 1st scan.

do the scans confirm implantation was successful? It's so exciting, if all goes well when would your BFP be due? End of Jan?

2 weeks of highs? Blimey that's a lot of shagging lol!

Ooh Lil this is exciting!

Agree that those bloody timehop, video things are really annoying. Didn't care the first time!

A very successful Christmas in the Honey family. Everyone pleased and lovely to see everyone. Met one of dh's cousins for first time too. Still one more to meet. One day perhaps!

Also, a not so stealth boast.... Look! I was shocked!

no scans are to check my natural cycle is turned off, then to check follicle growth jelly. bfp due around 10 Feb.

That's exciting lil glad it didn't really hurt

Oh purple it'll be 2015 soon. Keep positive!!

I'm 11dpo and starting to drive myself insane! Need a hooya! Why can't I just be patient!

Congratulations Deeply, keeping my gingers crossed for you.

I don't mind the 'my year' quick photo collection, that's half of what I use Facebook for - the my times and time hops just annoy me though.

It's CD10 here and I got my cape on this morning. No sign of pant snot but we'll be EOD for the foreseeable now

Belated Merry Christmas viroids! Busy times, have been AWOL for about 2 weeks I think! Got back from the UK last night after a crazy week of bed hopping (sadly not as exotic as it sounds - just trying to get round visiting everyone) and we are now sitting on the sofa in silence as it is so nice not to have anywhere to go!

Spent quite a bit of time with our 12 week old niece and oh my god is she a sweetheart - almost made me feel something like broodiness! Hubby thinks I have a heart of stone that I don't seem to get properly broody and doesn't get how I can say I'm not broody but I do want to get pregnant! Anyway the little angel baby is sooooo cute and unbelievably good - has slept all the way through since nearly the beginning and hardly ever cries, love her. And oh dear there it is I'm becoming a baby bore about someone else's baby!

Hope you've all had a great Christmas, sorry that for some of you it was a sad time thinking about what should have been, let's hope there are happier times ahead in 2015.

We were feeling the pressure over the past week with family all hinting at us starting a family, my sister in law said that my mother in law has actually said a few times that she was wondering whether we would have an announcement for them at Christmas! We haven't told any of them that we are TTC - as much as I would love to put them out of their misery and say that yes we actually do want to have children I don't want to tell them and have them waiting for news constantly. Also I think my mum was feeling a bit left out with my mother in law having a shiny new grandchild. Can't wait to have news for them whenever the hell that may be!

AF due very soon - CD29 today and last 2 cycles were 29 and 31 days. Def no pregnancy symptoms - sore boobs but I sometimes get them with AF (not every time weirdly) and I got a little twinge earlier that felt like AF pain. So I reckon she might get her red glittery NY party dress on and show up tomorrow! Have been an utterly shit shagger in December though, hubby and I have been like ships that pass in the night - so we plan to make a January baby! Positive thinking and all that!

Oops I appear to have written an essay, apologies viroids!

bat I've been a shit December shagger too.

Well let's try harder and if you like I will share the glory of my January BFP-to-be with you

Merry Christmas all! Bat joining you in the sofa slumping silence too, a busy few days with the in-laws and family.

Oh God I've just eaten sweets for dinner - after deciding this morning that I resemble a medium sized hippo and ate porridge and berries for breakfast! We've had soooo many sweets bought for us for Christmas!

Batfish pretty much everyone ar t xmas asked me a variation of the "are you pregnant", "are you trying..", when do you think you might", "I'll be up the church before I get a grandchild", "did you know so and so just had a baby". Aaaaaaaaargh!! Drove me nuts! Was so glad when AF came and could start drinking properly - that shut them up a bit and helped block out their annoying whiny voices.

I do love them all really though.

people who know our situation know better than to ask and those who don't seem to have given up asking (we've been married 3years) so this year was much better than last for questikins. I do feel all your pain though!

When you think about it, it is kind of awful how people pester about babies.

We've had a quiet day here. gets judgey pants out Went out for lunch and watched several groups allow their children to literally run around the place, play fight and bang metal plates on the table repeatedly. Never seen anything like it. Not general kid behaviour... Naughty kid behaviour!

Lil just been Googling IVF as didn't really know what it was. Am now in awe of both you and modern medicine. Amazing and so exciting. Best of luck.

I felt my poor mother in law die a little inside when I asked for a glass of wine! But I do find it weird how people pry - how do they know we haven't been trying for years! We have been married for over 5 years.

lil best of luck and really keeping everything crossed for your Feb BFP! A good friend of mine had IVF last December and was successful, I had a cuddle with her beautiful 4 month old baby girl last week.

It's so creepy when it's quiet around here.

[brum accent] Where is everybody? [/brum accent]

lol honey at the brummy accent (my family are brummys although I'm not), are you brummy?

muddy it truly is amazing.we are going one step further than ivf as we gave to have icsi. its the sane as ivf except instead of egg and sperm bring shoved in a dish to get on with it, they inject a sperm into each egg to fertilise them. we're having to do icsi because dh has poor motility.

I'm here!Freaking myself out watching the Walking Dead . Wanna go to bed but dh is out and am scared there might be a zombie in my bed. There's a huge spider running round the living room who's making me chuckle. He can't seem to decide where he wants to stay but is currently checking out our DVDs.

Wow Lil that's incredible! Have seen that on documentaries before and it looks so cool. What an amazing story you'll be able to tell to the baby when he/she is older