Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

tink is the fertility monitor or the normal cb opks? If normal opks I think you get blank circle=low, smily face=high, flashing smily=peak. Cbfm is low, high then smily.

You should be aiming to get cape on during any high periods, leading up to peak then dtd on peak day if you can or morning after. Sperms live up to 5-7 days, egg 24 hours. Lot of people on here have got bfp as result of shags before peak and so sperms have sat inside waiting to ambush!

kate mine works nights so I time dtd around that - don't stress if you can't shag on peak day as long as you get some in before then

La, am in same place as you right now, got all excited about icing and temps just wrong :( saw a pic of sil's bean today and although v
Excited about being aunty also wish I hadn't worn mascara this morning

It's the clear blue advanced digital ovulation test. It says the flashing smilies are high and solid peak. On the website it says I should have got 2 high days before 2 peak days. We dtd this morning so hopefully should be ok but that's the last time I spend £20 on contraband!! maybe I'm just super fertile this month and will get 4 peak days (lmao, ain't never gon happen!)
Sorry you're not having the best days mountain and la it'll be your turn soon xx

Woop woop!! Used a cheapie opk just now too as thought cb May be wrong and got my strongest evah opk line!!!! so excited, also loads of ewcm!!! Can't believe for 2nd cycle in a row things are behaving!!! Doing a dance!

Tink, I had 6 days of flashing smile before my solid, so stay alert!

Oh, and once you get a solid, stop testing!

tink cbfm is supposed to give 5 high days but I've had a cycle or two where it just jumped to peak. I usually ov day after peak regardless of whether its cbfm or ic opks.

la don't be down. sorry your body is screwing you around. big hugs.

AF due Wednesday here. huge boobage seems to be subsiding (may have to put that dress back on to check) so not expecting a bfp. dh seems really positive it could happen and I'm worried he's going to come crashing down when the witch arrives.

wish the rain would stop!

Good afternoon lovely viroids, have just caught up, loads happening here - the POAN is a golden!

tink is it your first month with the cbfm? I had 6 or 7 days of flashing high smilies first month I used it, second month it did what it says it's supposed to do on the tin, I think it uses a "learning" algorithm so perhaps more accurate second month?

la really feel for you and all others with long and wtf cycles, I've been 19-38 even in this last year, it's crazy-making.

Sadly it isn't the cbfm (wish I'd invested now) tis just the dual hormone digis. Called advanced ovulation kit (as advertised at the top of this page if you're on the proper tinterweb site!) . I'm assuming icing will be tonight or tomorrow now following the cheapie line!! God knows what I'll be like if I ever get a bfp, was beside myself to get 2 positive opks am just so thrilled that my body can do this, and is (hopefully)! Will keep eye on temps and keep shagging!!

Fx lil will you wait til you're late to test?

Thanks fresh and kato for the advice, am just going to hump him as often as poss for the rest of the week and possibly give up the contraband opk???

mountain and la just read back old post and I sound really patronising! sorry, was trying to post too quickly and made myself sound like a knob! What I was trying to say was it'll hopefully be all of our turns soon, if that sounds any better?
Anyway, I think you know what I mean xxx as you were x

Ding dong the witch is here!

I'm looking on the bright side:

1. In spite of 2 mcs, my wtf cycle was exactly the normal lenght.
2. JSing can start again soon.
3. My body's had a rest cycle, hopefully all recallibrated now.

Can't recall who was asking about reflexology but I had my first session the week before last and even if it doesn't help directly I felt much more relaxed afterwards.

Appointment booked with GP to go through bloods in a fortnight.

Red wine & pâté time!!!

Good luck Kate - we were PT JS professionals what with my stupid shifts and DH's working abroad a lot. Still managed to conceive twice this year, so it is possible.

That's the spirit, Widdly! Enjoy the TWPU.

Tink that sounds very positive and not at all knobbish :)

No need to ask, we're ISQ here

isq chat?

tink IF I was late I'd test. but probably not until a few days late. nothing to see here ladies! boring non crazy poaser here I'm afraid!

I'm so tired. and hungry. so I want to eat but don't want to cook or go out. but I've eaten crap all weekend so am craving real food. mega dilemma!

Sorry - In Status Quo. Lil I'm with you in not being a crazy POASser, it gets you nowhere fast!

And it's mega expensive! Learned that the hard way :)

tink I thought it was a great positive post, not nobbish at all!

Gx for you lil and you chat

wiggly love your positives, sorry about witch but very glad your wtf cycle is over. Enjoy twpu x

Hi ladies! Anyone else pissed off with this weather? Miserable!

Cars going for a service and mot tomorrow. I will be so poor.

Evening Viroids

What a depressing, drizzly day.

wiggly sorry about bitch face (witch) enjoy your wine & pâté frenzy

bother those people sound like massive fucktards. It's perfectly reasonable to expect to be able to hold a conversation without being drowned out by their offspring!!

la hope your cycle sorts itself out, but I know you'll keep that cape flying!

To cheer you all up I can recount my somewhat traumatic commute this morning. Normally hour to hour and a half bastard M25 permitting. Approaching 3 and a half hours later and having virtuously drunk a pint of hot water & lemon along with my trusty large travel mug of tea you can imagine I was feeling somewhat uncomfortable. Actually that's an understatement- that stage was reached at 2 & a 1/2 hours, at this point I was in pain. So what could I do with only an empty thermos mug?!

Damned right I did!! Somehow I didn't get spotted I am convincing myself nobody clocked what I was doing and managed to shimmy my trousers down, wiggle myself into the drivers footwell & not spill a drop! Had to stop mid flow I had that much wee, but it stopped the pain until I got to an actual loo.

Thermos now in the bin. I hope this had the desired effect on morale

Noniks that is the best thing ever! Omg!

Also just realised... Noniks..
no niks ... No knickers?

non hats off to you girl! that's brill!

Cheers honey! Thought someone would get a giggle from it!

Yep, couldn't help myself...but I do wear knickers, honest!!

I'm in the north!! It's so far away!!

Can't read, must eat.

Dulcet it's not so far! I miss the North :)

Noinks fabulous work. New ROC for you, no?

I am about a hair's breadth from saying bollocks to it all and opening the wine. My boobs don't hurt, I'm not sick, I can't smell anything thanks to DD's cold and there's no way if I iced at a normal time I wouldn't have a BFP by now. And I stopped JS-ing when the witch was due so a late ice has gone unmet by swimmers. Bah.

Nonicks that story made me laugh a lot. Incredible skills!

Bugger about the witch wiggly
Lolling at your M25 emergency pee noniks, I had to do that in a costa coffee cup on the M1 a few years ago
Fx Lil I don't know if I could wait til late if I were you

Noniks that's hilarious!!

Viroids, my DP is now my Dear Fiancé :D

Noniks that is incredible!

Tmi question but anyone who uses conceive plus/preseed... How long does it tend to *ahem hang around for?