Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

pis it sounds a bit like the tree falling where no one can hear it?

I didn't watch bakeoff but know who won la la la la la la laaaa la la!!

pear I'm sorry if I came off moody - didn't mean it like that. it made me chuckle that I used to think exactly the same and somehow ended up here! hopefully you will get your bfp much quicker than me though!

mountain I've just caught up on bake off. I also thought it went to the right person. they only base it on that week, not cumulative of all weeks.

Isn't it funny though what we all worry about when ttc? All different things I have same worry about Christmas baby, but my friend is due Christmas Day and couldn't care less!

I would really like two babies so I do hope I can have one soon so that I can have two. I hope in two years I'll be upduffed with no 2 and wondering what the fuss was about.

How much longer for testing all the twotters?

I was twotting but I am not out! CD1 for me. ERTD has arrived. Give it a few days and I shall be back to JSing.

FWIW, I am an end of July baby and loved it. Just don't wait until after the school holiday starts to organise birthday parties is my one top tip!

Now* rather than not!

Boo pixa sorry witch got you Enjoy twpu!

boo pixa

ttc is just bonkers. all of it. full stop!

I'm like u la, I want 2dcs and am already worrying how we'll conceive no 2 before we've managed no 1!!

technically I'm twitting do "due to test" 15th if AF miraculously stays away. I haven't wasted tests in over 6months tho so dont hold your breath for me testing. I think AF would have to be a week late for me to test nowadays!

Hello! Another newbie here waves
DP and I are about to start ttc no1, just waiting for af to finish before we start!

Equal parts excited, and terrified... (Terrified of it happening, and of it not happening. It's a very wierd feeling!)

I only started tracking my periods 2 months ago in preparation for ttc, an I don't really know much about how it all works, anyone have any advice? Apart from just shagging haha!

Hi kate welcome!

Shag eod approaching ovulation, every day at ovulation and join us in our ridiculous jizz obsessed chat the rest of the time

Morning viroids! Just got very angry at Mr La who decided to have 'a few pints last night' after work. Have just tried in vain to excite the not so awesome penis, and am now giving up and going to work.

Got to come home at lunch now for cape action as I might be icing or might not

Welcome Kate! Follow Law's advice, she's spot on!

We dtd for first time this cycle last night. I want to emulate the first month and get sotm again. But i am also definitely not temping during this phase which i didn't last time so should learn something!

Good luck with your cape action mission La!

Morning all,
pixa - sorry the witch bitch got you.

Welcome Kate and happy shagging! Advice - remember his boys hang around for several days but your egg only one so do it more early and mid way in your cycle to make sure his troops are lined up and ready!

On the timing front, it would never stop us trying but I do think about when dc is likely to be born every month during the twot and selfishly always think summer would be a nice time to be on mat leave! All my family and his family birthdays fall between sept and feb so some reason for a party when there's decent weather to enjoy would be great.
As much as I'd love more than one, being an old bird, I think our only chance would be twins! There is a history on his side so not beyond the realms of possibility.

Officially twotting as of now. Stats:
Dtd: cd 7, 9, 12, 14
Ewcm and positive contraband opk: cd12
Af due: Oct 24
patience not my strong point

Happy Friday!

Twottitty twot good luck twotters!

mountain frer POAS???

Morning all, welcome kate
Good luck twotters! mountain??????
CD12 here and af finally effed off yesterday. Last cycle I think I iced CD15, does anyone else have experience of long period and when they iced afterwards?? contraband agogo here, worried about missing it

Ps: la - if it makes you feel any better, my request for a bonus bonk this morning was denied. I've only put today on my stats because it will happen this evening even though I think it's too late if I have to give it a home-made splint.
Happy lunch time shagging!

Haha, lunch time shagging sounds pretty good! Hopefully MrLa's penis will have recovered its awesomeness by then

Hi Kate - Good luck

Bother

Sorry to disappoint girls but big bfn :( lol I forgot the window cleaner was here and stomped out the bathroom muttering 'well I'd better get back to shagging then' think I scared the poor man. Is don't want to have to wait 4months to ice again :(

Oh mountain I'm sorry - that's really tough when your cycles are all over the place anyway. x

Ps: don't apologise to us! We're here for the highs and the lows. X

Oh Mountain I'm sorry. Hopefully icing will occur soon (now please?).

Hope Mr La's awesome penis is back on form for lunch La, if not you may need to borrow Bother's genius splint

Welcome Kate, happy shagging :)

I am schroedinger's viroid. I'm locked in a bathroom with a bottle of wine, a pee stick and a wine glass (adorned with an image Nigel Farage, why not?). Am I both upduffed and not - I think so! Best be sure before I offer a drink

Morning Viroids

Epic catch up alert from the last 2 days...

lil great news you have a date & it's not too far off

bother still chortling about your BO bonk & soggy bottoms

cookie thank you for sharing your experience with baby Eli - good to have an against the odds success! & he is gorgeous!

tink hope DH & dog have returned from letting off steam & calm is now restored

la get that cape on & and gx for this cycle for you

wiggly your NF ROC was inspired!!

mountain sorry for the BFN, hope you ice soon

chat excellent analogy for Schrodinger's cat!

welcome kate, the shaggers have advised you well!

Afraid I am out this month.

Got really excited yesterday morning as no ERTD (usually wake up to it) Cue agonising hour long commute to work squirming away to see if it's arrived. I was convinced it had & bolted to the loos for a pant check...still clear!!

Then OCD pant checking & 1 1/2hours & 4 pant checks later the mother chuffer landed unfortunately by this stage I fear my co-workers think I had a condition especially as I had to retreat to the loo a 5th time with lady products Blob Watch, as DH called it was over

Didn't bother with pre seed or conceive plus this time as just started with the EPO. Did get much more obvious EWCM but surely the extra help can't help this month...

pixa I join you in cycle day 2.

Boooooo to the witch! to her victims!

Hey everyone! Want to write a proper message but I'm on me phone and it's too tricky. Love hearing updates from everyone, hugs to those who need them

I think I'm twotting but going to still do EOD in case I got it wrong!

Me Stats:
Dtd: cd 8, 12, 13, 14
Ewcm cd 12 & 13
Contraband Opks all neg (likely due to incorrect P technique! - that'll teach me.)
Af due: Oct 20th or thereabouts

My DP is 42 in a month and has embarked on a 30 day of fitness challenge, I've just made him a chart to stick on the fridge. Bless.

chat are you POAS again??

Nonicks I sooo get what you mean. When AF is due I am obsessing about pant checking and literally cannot focus on anything else... And every two seconds I am having to see what's happening, it's pretty stressful. And then that sinking feeling when you see something

mountain really sorry you got a bfn. That really sucks. Fingers xed for icing really soon.