Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Haha Bother we call it Cafe Nerd too, thought it was just us!

Jelly 3 starbucks?!?! How big is your window?!? There's only 2 in my city I think! No Prets or Eats unfortunately...

Cookie he is sooooooooo unbelievably cute!

cookie Eli is getting big now! Is he squishy and cuddly? Hes lush.

The universe fell out of my arse again this morning and I barely made it to the toilet. Im so sick of sharting my jarma bottoms.

As you were shaggers!

Cookie he is gorgeous You must be such a proud mumma!

Calli I work in London, so I guess it's to be expected. We are surrounded by coffee shops!

Gaggia that is the best pre-lunch Fred update I have read in a long time! :D

Contraband question alert! How accurate do you viroids find temping? My quest to discover if I am icing has made me want to use all possible avenues! I do check my pants snot but I'm useless at telling if it's the good stuff or not (despite regular checks of pictures on the interwebs). I would use OPK's but don't know when to test, an because they have such a small window all I keep seeing is empty circles.

So that leaves temping. Is it easy, and does it give good results?

Awww Cookie oh my gosh! Adorable.

Congrats Fresh :-)

I did try OPK this month but all neg, other signs good though. I think I did them wrong tbh, needed to wait longer to P. I felt I had to do something !

So Ian McShane is like the fertility god right? Pin him up in the bedroom and say a little prayer? Is that how it works?

Emz - I tried that but MrB was unimpressed - Ian McS headboard 'put him off' apparently...who knew?

Oh cookie he is GORGEOUS. As edible as his mummy's name warrants...xx

Seriously Emz - I'm with you - the OPK instructions say you should POAS at about 2pm after no peeing for 4 hours...I can't go more than 1 hour without going! I do drink a lot of water, but still - who can hold it for 4 hours? Today's supposed to be an OPK day, and I'm holding out for 2pm...but even then it'll only be 3 hours since, and I'm fecking desperate now!

Thank you, he is so scrummy!!

Thanks for the warm welcome guys. I'm on CD3. Have been a bit down last few days when realised AF was here as felt like last cycle could have been "the one". Had a few different signs, a very light bit of spotting which I thought was IB... I never get spotting and it was on CD25 so I was getting excited. Also had a really "heavy" feeling for most of last week, not cramps but just "something". So naturally by CD28 I was very hopeful only to have sodding buggery AF and a negative FRER. I was on the pill for about 14 years with no break so guess I'm still only just getting used to cycle without it. I don't use OPK or temping or anything but quite keen to give it a go. Have really regular 28/29 day cycles thankfully!

jelly I temp. I find it fairly hassle free and accurate as long as you take it within about the same 15mins each morning. I've done it for about 20months and its pinpointed icing practically perfectly every cycle. only down side is it doesn't predict ov just confirms it. I think you should definitely go back to the Dr asap. with the nausea it sounds like your prog levels haven't dropped. your best getting checked out again sooner rather than later.

cookie he is adorable.

la high five from me too! hope you have a better day today hun.

welcome indigo

I don't know why you all have so much trouble with opks! I've always found them fine, whenever I last pee'd. I just use ics

Edited to add: Of course I have no plans to use contraband..

Ha, the bonkers bonkers - that's us! Welcome Indigo

Cookie, he gets cuter every time I see him :)

I miss our coffee room - one of the parents gave us a Nespresso machine for a leaving gift (what wonderful people!) and the banter is second-to-none.

thanks Lil I will get a docs appointment booked when I come back from Spain this weekend. I'll give temping a go too, I don't overly care when I'm icing, more IF I am!

Yes I drink lots of water. Stopped BC in the summer and only been paying attention to cycles etc for a few months. I'm sure I'll work it all out soon enough. So many hundreds of things to take, do, measure etc if you want to. I think that's why the JS Fred appealed!

Fresh ... wasn't Mr Fresh mad you didn't tell him straight away!? I felt bad poasing without DH there... I did anyway tho

Gaggia is this a preggo symptom or might you have a bug?? You'll be housebound soon!

La high five! That sounds brilliantly teenaged.

Welcome Indigo

He is such a cutie cookie congratulations.

gaggia I hate pooey pjs. Try a negligee?

Enz you just made me laugh so much about the big McS that I spat water all over my keyboard.

I bought 4 pg tests this morning. I suspect I won't be able to hold off til Friday. I am a fool. Slept dreadfully last night because I'm so worried about mc again. And when I did go to sleep I had this crazy dream that until you were 12 weeks you were given an increasingly large quantity of white bread dough to hide around your person, rather than and actual embryo....really odd. I was stressing about how to hide it from people at work and ended up wrapping it around my midrif.

On a more important note, I'm addicted to Waitrose free coffee to the point where I make up excuses to go in and buy stuff. Mr Waitrose, I am a sucker for your marketing. DH manages to hide the eye roles when I get home with yet more bread for the freezer.

Aww Cookie, Eli is so cute! Is he keeping you up at night?

Jelly I temp but I am the worst person in the world at it. All different times of day, different amounts of sleep and movement, really crap at it!

Gaggia so sorry its still raining for you. Time to cut out the fibre? Is someone slipping you laxatives?

Indigo welcome! I hope the last few posts have given you an idea of what you're in for. And no. None of us use contraband either. Obviously.

RPopz no he didn't seem to mind. I guess because I've been POAS no contraband of course for so long now it had become a bit of a non-event in the Fresh household. LOL

Yeh that's my issue with temping, I'm terrible with routine! Might just keep on shagging to the tune of Dory's "Just keep swimming"...

Wiggly free coffee sounds ideal! The free coffee here is crap! It's like drinking thick sweat

Ew jelly. I can't drink Starbucks coffee because it just makes me think of drinking burnt gravy.

Why honey yes he is!

Bonjourno viroids!
Glad all are okey dokey.
la proud of you man! Although, you've made me realise I have no excuse for dodging Mr.tinks advances! Was using mammoth ertd (day fecking 9!) and hairy fanjo as poor excuse, must dust off cape!!
I temp, makes me feel like my body can behave normally sometimes, which is nice. Only done it from start of last month but can recommend jelly for smugness when you get a peak!!
Beautiful bubba cookie
Welcome indigo
wiggly and chat gingers really crossed for you lovely viroids
gaggia ooff, I also get the squits a lot and hope it clears up for you soon, arse rain is not fun x
fresh how lovely, can't wait to tell Mr.tink!! He'll def cry, sappy bastard!!

I also have trouble with opk's, should be starting to test tomorrow but still spotting! Might do it anyway, at least it might make me feel like I'm doing something positive!
Love to all xx

Right, I am on it ladies. Shittest JSer ever but I am temping, opks and shagging my brains out. Although I am husbandless until Thursday now but he better be ready!! Have even considered conceive plus but not sure DH would like it.

I need a baby!

Hello viroids!

LA! Are you near me? When you leaving?

Dulcet, my DH wouldn't have appreciated the conceive lube, that's why I decanted it into a boots own brand bottle got my BFP that month too

Trouble is we're still using it!